Now alone

I'm now truly alone :'(, my girlfriend has told me that she loves me, but she cannot trust me, so has left me, she lives 5000 miles away and the only way to prove to her that I'm the person that she fell in love with is to travel to her, and show her, with maybe a half chance of winning her back, I feel so so lonely, to be the one left behind , she's not talking to me, she says she wants to try to move on, I can't get over there until next year, I feel physically sick, Iv lost my other half .. I need to get to her :'(

Why doesn't she trust you ?

She doesn't believe that I wanted to close the distance :/.. I had a really hard time getting time off at short notice these past 3 months, she got really nervous about it, and kept pushing me away, I lost count of how many times she broke up with me, and then she surprised me when she had booked a flight to come here to see me, and when she told me on Skype, I freaked out, thinking 'here we go again' thinking it was a short term fix for her because she couldn't handle the distance, all I could see was getting hurt, so I pushed her away the only way that I could see how and said I don't want her to come, of corse, the hotel was none refundable, so I paid her back for it, the next morning, I knew I'd made the biggest mistake of my life, because, in trying not to get hurt, I lost the one girl that I have truly loved, Iv told her that will prove her wrong about be but she won't believe anything I say now, until I'm there that I'd :/.. All I have is her email now after she cut me out, because it hurts to much to keep talking to me.. So I'm waiting until the new year alone now, until I can book time off

I don't think there's anything you can do other than wait for your booked leave.

Unless of course you find another job that doesn't require advanced notice, but giving resignation notice, finding a new job and then showing up to it for a month so you don't give the impression you're lazy will probably take much longer than for the booked leave.

Why does it keep getting delayed? Does your job keep pressuring you to cancel the leave at the last minute?

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants for herself. Maybe time is what she needs to figure it out. How long have you been together for ?

A year, but it's been long distance for the whole yea, I get what she's saying I really do, it just sucks big time.. The problem with work is that I had been working there part time and only got full time a couple of months ago, so any time off, hadn't been earnt yet, and it's a small business, the owner didn't tell me yes or know, just gave me the run around, and then when he did give me dates I could take, I could only get a week in dec, and she was working then, we both agreed that it would be best to wait until the new year so I could book two weeks, the other problem back then was, everyone there books holiday time at the end of the year, because if we don't use it, we just loose it :/

Oh that's really rubbish. It's so difficult when 2 lives don't sync together no matter how hard you try. As it's long distance you both have to equally try together to stay together.
Do you think time will help her ?

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's so hard.

She is trying to move on with her life without me .. Time will just push us further apart .. I know that I am still the man that she fell for, I just need to prove it to her before she finds somebody else :'(

Due to the distance and being restricted you can't do it all yourself, she needs to show there is hope.

Do you know how you can prove it to her yet ? If you don't mind me asking how old is she ? please ignore if you dont want to say

If you feel that she is the one etc, then do everything you can and visit her. Otherwise, move on. Not because she or you aint worth it or stuff like that, but because unless one of you is willing to relocate, it wont work out and it'll just keep hurting.

I know it feels like you would do anything to chase her and not lose her, that you must not give her up, that you can still fix it, but if she asked you to stop and that she wants to move on, you should respect it. If she loved you as you said, then she's hurting as much as you do, it's not any easier for her

I've just came out of a very similar situation, long distance, both fell in love, I was her one, she was mine, stuff happened, it ended, still love each other but not gonna happen.
I used to feel that Im done with romance, that I lost the one and only, the woman I was made for etc. For a month after we broke up we kept texting, telling each other we miss us, and we're still in love etc. Then I realized that I need to let go, that it'll just hurt from now on unless I give her up. While I still believe she is the one, I accepted we're over and focused on moving on. If we were close, I wouldnt give up, so if you can fly to her now, do it. Otherwise, stop wasting your life on that, and focus on moving forward too. It'll be for the best of you both

While long distance relationships arent impossible, I know people that got married after meeting online from half the world away, but if you're having problems now, just imagine how worse it will get when you're in person etc.

I'd say fly to her now and fight for it, or keep it as a nice memory and move on

Im sorry if some of the stuff I said may come out as harsh or offensive, but Im not trying to offend you, as I said I literaly came out of a similar situation and I'm trying to be as blunt and clear as possible!

I can't go now or I would .. She has cut me out, but also told me that she wants me to prove her wrong, I have promised her that I will prove her wrong and be there, I believe that we can have a life together, and when we were together she knew it too, we were both prepared to move, I hAvnt given up on her, I don't think I could, I know sharing this won't help, I just have no one else to speak to

chrish said:

I can't go now or I would .. She has cut me out, but also told me that she wants me to prove her wrong, I have promised her that I will prove her wrong and be there, I believe that we can have a life together, and when we were together she knew it too, we were both prepared to move, I hAvnt given up on her, I don't think I could, I know sharing this won't help, I just have no one else to speak to

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sharing sometimes can be of great help, it's fine, that's why these forums are here for, right?

If you think she really wants you to prove her wrong, then fight for her!!
If you cant go, cant she come to you? You said she had a hotel booked, maybe buy her tickets too? And contact her on any form you can!

False hope is the worst thing you can have right now, so look deep inside you and think if you can really make it happen again. If the answer is yes, then go for it and dont give up!!!

She won't come here now, but.. I won't give up, I'm fighting for her, but it's hard fighting alone

chrish said:

She won't come here now, but.. I won't give up, I'm fighting for her, but it's hard fighting alone

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As I said, if you really think you can get back together, then try your best! And for now, try to calm your feelings and start thinking clearly of what you could do, how you could contact her and let her know you want to try, and how you could arrange meeting her!

I have her email, and she knows, I told her I would email her when I knew I could be there, it just hurts knowing that she is talking to other guys.. Trying to move on, because she doesn't believe I'll turn up , I'll live I guess, I need something to pass the time until then, I'm going crazy thinking about it :/

You need to take a step back for your own sake.
How do you know she's talking to other guys ? Is she testing you somehow ?

This concerns another member of this forum, the other thread was closed, you should know this because you were part of it. So guess what, gonna close this one too.