Scared to go to event

Hey,
i even booked tickets for this concert to go to
but I was too scared to go to it somehow and now I missed
another opportunity to go out and meet new people
I've missed already lots of things because of fear ...

I'm sorry you missed out on it, but you tried. That's what is really important here, IMO. You are trying, taking steps to get yourself out there. Keep trying and eventually you will succeed.
Although, maybe go a little smaller (something free) until you know you can do it.

Maybe you should try to go to a smaller event than a concert for a start, and then bit by bit you may get more comfortable.

Concerts can be overwhelming, both going and performing. Keep trying though. Eventually, you'll come across an event you just won't want to miss.

I did this kind of thing for most of my life; I would avoid absolutely everything.

"If I'm inside I won't suffer a panic attack, I won't be belittled and I won't risk being attacked. I'm safe in here."

The problem is that you miss out on everything positive that life has to offer. You miss out on experiences, friendships, love and happiness. It took me a LONG time to realise that safety isn't actually much fun. You're much better off stepping off that cliff - hopefully your parachute opens, but if it doesn't at least you had an exciting ride.

I agree with the above posters. You made the effort and tried, which is the main thing.
Going for something smaller at first is a good suggestion because then you can work your way up gradually to bigger events.

Really good book I read a few years ago called "DO IT" had this advice that if you don't break out of your comfort zone, it collapses. In my experience, so true. So force yourself out as a practice exercise just so you can expand your comfort zone. Like Tina said, small steps as long as you are pushing against the comfort zone.

Concerts are probably one of the hardest places to be when alone - practically everyone else would have gone in a couple of group and so would rarely wish to talk to a stranger, the music will be deafening and you'll be squashed in the crowd, hardly conducive to meeting new people. It has taken me many years to learn to go to concerts and clubs alone but once I've let go of the feeling that people are pointing me out and laughing for being alone, I love it. Still like I said it's taken many years of lonely miserable nights of standing on the edge, watching people laugh and hug each other and mistaking random glances for ridicule and mockery.

Maybe a good first step would be to do an activity where everyone else in the room will be in the same boat as you in terms of not knowing anybody else. Evening classes for example are a great way as there's normally a "getting to know everybody" part of the session at the start and you tend to take breaks together so you'll end up talking to somebody. Once you've got that, then progress to maybe walking round a shopping center/mall/precinct just taking in the sights and sounds of other people. You won't stand out and you can sit down or leave whenever you like. Once you can reasonably confidently walk through a crowd then maybe a small gig. Build your way up and you will reach your goal I promise

At least you tried to go to the event. You bought the tickets and thought you could go through with it, but you backed out cause of anxiety most likely. Next time try go to a event that's in your area so that way you won't be as nervous to go too. I don't think I could ever go to a concert by myself cause there would be a lot of people there, but if it was a band that I really wanted to see I probably would want to go to one cause not many of the bands that I like never come where I live at. Next time maybe you'll be able to go too one.

I went to a concert myself a couple years ago. It was a new band I liked that was touring for the promotion of their second album, and I missed them the first time they came through the nearest big city to me. This time, I told myself I was going no matter what. I thought of one of my friends, who is a guy that, once he gets really determined to do something, just up and does it. He moved completely to the other side of the country to a city where he didn't have a job lined up, didn't yet have a place, didn't know anyone, and was determined to make a go of it. I thought to myself, what would he do in my situation? I took the concert as a test. Of course I would have loved to go with friends, but I told myself that I wouldn't let a lack of people to go with determine whether or not I would see the band. I was interested to see myself put together a successful plan - I wanted to prove to myself that I was competent enough to take initiative and lead.

Sure enough, I got there on time, saw the whole show, and got home again all in one piece. I did have to go alone and I didn't make any new friends, but I still considered the night a success.

All I can really say is, try again next time.

LonelySutton said:

Really good book I read a few years ago called "DO IT" had this advice that if you don't break out of your comfort zone, it collapses. In my experience, so true. So force yourself out as a practice exercise just so you can expand your comfort zone. Like Tina said, small steps as long as you are pushing against the comfort zone.

Click to expand...

Thanks, i found a book on amazon like that , i will check it out for sure

It's always anxiety that makes it worse close to when i want to go , more so when i dont know anyone that goes with me or so
and I really want to make a change because I have this for more than 10 years, if people wanted to my invite i somehow
procastinate and now i have the procastination is worse on my own without any support. Setting up things in my calendar isnt enough to make me
do it. I even have anxiety when trying to go see a movie. I dont go see any movies when nobody invites me even though I want to even go see it on my own

blazemaster26 said:

LonelySutton said:

Really good book I read a few years ago called "DO IT" had this advice that if you don't break out of your comfort zone, it collapses. In my experience, so true. So force yourself out as a practice exercise just so you can expand your comfort zone. Like Tina said, small steps as long as you are pushing against the comfort zone.

Click to expand...

Thanks, i found a book on amazon like that , i will check it out for sure

It's always anxiety that makes it worse close to when i want to go , more so when i dont know anyone that goes with me or so
and I really want to make a change because I have this for more than 10 years, if people wanted to my invite i somehow
procastinate and now i have the procastination is worse on my own without any support. Setting up things in my calendar isnt enough to make me
do it. I even have anxiety when trying to go see a movie. I dont go see any movies when nobody invites me even though I want to even go see it on my own

Click to expand...

I've pushed myself to do things on my own, especially events that I didn't want to miss like a good movie. In the end, I've never regretted going solo but when I've cancelled on myself, I've regretted doing that.
The nice thing about going solo is if you feel like leaving early, you can do it without having to ask anyone. Or if you want to change your plans slightly, you can do that too.
I've been to a few movies alone (the last one was Argo - great movie! ). And you know what? After talking myself into it and steeling myself for looks from other people because I'm alone, it turned out nobody really noticed or cared that I was by myself and there were other people on their own too!

-Teresa

Well guess what booked tickets again for an event
but afraid to go on my own :-/ I guess better luck next time. I have to find first people
that want to go with me to events and such cause the fear is too much to go on my own. I did go
once on my own but it wasnt really that fun with no one to even talk to at all.
Will try to go see a movie tomorrow though alone, been a while that i went to the cinema.

I did went to my own on a party last weekend and it was ok, met some people again that i knew but didnt talk very long. but it is kinda akward when you come to early and everyone is together in a group. it does get better when you later when everybody is dancing I want to get to know more people tough to go out more and do stuff, i am not that great at keeping conversations alive for long.

I'd rather go to a concert alone (and in fact, I do) than to a party. At a party, the setting is more intimate. At a concert, you are one in a crowd and people are too busy watching the band to see that you're alone and make fun of you.

I would never wish to discourage you from going to a gig but in my honest opinion going to one to meet with new people may not be the best way of doing so. As others have said it will be loud, it will be crowded, there will potentially be little room to move and trying to get to the bar can be a nightmare. I don't as I say wish to scare you, it is just a reality and something I have experienced in the past. Luckily for me the club that I go to has a balcony above the crowd so I do not have to stand with a massive group of people.

If you looking for social events to meet new people may I suggest something like an art gallery or a museum? I know it may not be as exciting and it may not be your thing but it will give you the chance to meet others in a much calmer environment - but ultimately it comes down to what works for you.

I do wish you the best of luck.

Try going to small events to start with, then gradually build up your confidence. Try visualising yourself at the event having a great time and meeting lots of nice, friendly people. Really feel the emotion, and how happy you'll feel at having stepped out of your comfort zone

As the others suggested already:

1. Go to the event due to the event itself.
Don't be scared by other people. If it's a band you like you are going to listen to music over there.
If it's cinema, you want to watch a new movie, not to meet new people.

2. Enjoy it.

3. If somebody start to talk to you, reply.
Don't press yourself to talk with somebody.

I have done it years during my loneliness period. After some while, it will become a normal situation for you. You will look finer and somebody - perhaps - start to talk to you.