Two women trying to set me up with someone else

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Triple Bogey

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The somebody else is this woman at work who has just gone on her holidays. This morning another woman started poking fun saying I should have gone with her. She went on and on. I figured she was just trying to be funny.

This afternoon however, her and another woman started up with it again. They said I should go and see her on my day off. We could go on photo trips together. One asked if I wanted to sleep with her. I said I didn't. And then one said -' Seriously we think you and her are suited for each other. You have a lot in common'

I replied that she didn't like me. (Considering she never says 'hello' in the morning and half the time is 'in a mood' with me)
One of the women suggested she was playing hard to get.

I then told them what happened 16 years ago. The woman complained about me to the manager. I didn't actually do anything. My crime was asking her out. A woman from personnel came down got me in the office and said all sorts. Told me this woman felt 'uncomfortable' when I was around her. Felt 'uncomfortable' because she thought I liked her. Told me I had no chance whatsoever of going out with this woman. Naturally I got a bit upset (I was a lot younger back then) - I said to myself though that was it. No more asking women out. No more honeysuckle. I didn't for another 10 years !

So I told these two woman this and honestly they looked shocked. And it did shut them up. I told them not to mention it to the other woman when she gets back from her holiday. (They are both friends so I think I can trust them)

Brought back some honeysuckle memories. I am not prepared to think that this woman in the 16 years since complaining about me has developed feelings for me and these two women are right.

We do talk a lot, we do have loads in common though.

What do people think ?
 
I think you work with a bunch of immature old women trying to relive their "glory" days. WTF is going on where you work.....

Also, I really think you should consider reporting those two women, they really push the line way too far.
 
TheRealCallie said:
I think you work with a bunch of immature old women trying to relive their "glory" days. WTF is going on where you work.....

^This

I think that that particular woman put you through some serious mental trauma if it put you off asking anyone else out for a decade. You deserve better. Don't let them push you into something of that nature. This isn't some sort of children's game they're playing at. There are real people with real emotions involved, and you're clearly a very sensitive guy if that incident had such an affect on you, they shouldn't mess around like that. Where is their professionalism and courtesy?
 
TheRealCallie said:
I think you work with a bunch of immature old women trying to relive their "glory" days. WTF is going on where you work.....

Also, I really think you should consider reporting those two women, they really push the line way too far.

You don't know half of it.

Today one of my jobs was a 'customer journey' which is walking around the shop and looking to see how the shop is; how clean, are all the products on sale, are baskets available etc. One other job was to see if the colleagues have all the correct badges on.

So I walk up to these women (the same two) and look for the badges. Both of them stood in front of me, unzipped their jackets and basically jiggled their tits at me while saying things like 'do you want a look at our knickers as well ?'

Stuff like this isn't unusual, happens all the time !
 
Welp, you sure shut them up.

Edit: Okay, you need to report these two. Wtf is wrong with their heads?
 
Triple Bogey said:
You don't know half of it.

Today one of my jobs was a 'customer journey' which is walking around the shop and looking to see how the shop is; how clean, are all the products on sale, are baskets available etc. One other job was to see if the colleagues have all the correct badges on.

So I walk up to these women (the same two) and look for the badges. Both of them stood in front of me, unzipped their jackets and basically jiggled their tits at me while saying things like 'do you want a look at our knickers as well ?'

Stuff like this isn't unusual, happens all the time !

What the absolute donald freaking duck..

Didn't you report them? What on earth is wrong with some people..
 
Aisha said:
TheRealCallie said:
I think you work with a bunch of immature old women trying to relive their "glory" days. WTF is going on where you work.....

^This

I think that that particular woman put you through some serious mental trauma if it put you off asking anyone else out for a decade. You deserve better. Don't let them push you into something of that nature. This isn't some sort of children's game they're playing at. There are real people with real emotions involved, and you're clearly a very sensitive guy if that incident had such an affect on you, they shouldn't mess around like that. Where is their professionalism and courtesy?

Yes true and one of them already knew because I told her earlier on in the year. Yet she still takes the piss.

It did have an effect, it was the worst thing ever to happen to me and it haunted me for years. At the end of the day a woman felt the need to complain about me and it wasn't something I did, it was a general complaint about me as a person which hurt a great deal !


Aisha said:
Triple Bogey said:
You don't know half of it.

Today one of my jobs was a 'customer journey' which is walking around the shop and looking to see how the shop is; how clean, are all the products on sale, are baskets available etc. One other job was to see if the colleagues have all the correct badges on.

So I walk up to these women (the same two) and look for the badges. Both of them stood in front of me, unzipped their jackets and basically jiggled their tits at me while saying things like 'do you want a look at our knickers as well ?'

Stuff like this isn't unusual, happens all the time !

What the absolute donald freaking duck..

Didn't you report them? What on earth is wrong with some people..

No because it happens all the time. It's shop banter. I did complain (to other staff) about one a month ago. Said she was going too far. The woman obviously found out I was complaining (one of the others told her) and she did a 'moody' on me, wouldn't talk. It was my fault of course.
 
Triple Bogey said:
Yes true and one of them already knew because I told her earlier on in the year. Yet she still takes the piss.

It did have an effect, it was the worst thing ever to happen to me and it haunted me for years. At the end of the day a woman felt the need to complain about me and it wasn't something I did, it was a general complaint about me as a person which hurt a great deal !

I'm sorry you have to deal with people who seem to be some of the crudest and rudest of the gender.. If they are like this at work what do they turn into when they leave?
And if that woman had a problem just because you asked her out, she ought to have addressed the issue to you in a polite manner. A superior actually taunted you and said you didn't have a chance just because you asked someone else out? There is something really wrong with all the women at your workplace..


Triple Bogey said:
No because it happens all the time. It's shop banter. I did complain (to other staff) about one a month ago. Said she was going too far. The woman obviously found out I was complaining (one of the others told her) and she did a 'moody' on me, wouldn't talk. It was my fault of course.

Shop banter.. O.O
Must have been a relief when she stopped talking, you should do that more often.. she doesn't seem like the type anyone really needs to hear from. Harassment and lewdness in the workplace? Just no..
 
Aisha said:
Triple Bogey said:
You don't know half of it.

Today one of my jobs was a 'customer journey' which is walking around the shop and looking to see how the shop is; how clean, are all the products on sale, are baskets available etc. One other job was to see if the colleagues have all the correct badges on.

So I walk up to these women (the same two) and look for the badges. Both of them stood in front of me, unzipped their jackets and basically jiggled their tits at me while saying things like 'do you want a look at our knickers as well ?'

Stuff like this isn't unusual, happens all the time !

What the absolute donald freaking duck..

Didn't you report them? What on earth is wrong with some people..

What kind of world do you live in? This is the workplace for anyone with the misfortune of being on the bottom. Report someone without support and HR/management will just intensify pressure on whoever complains. One of the things management loves to do is use dubious harassment complaints to fire someone and ruin their lives, because it's a convenient pretext for denying unemployment compensation and because managers love to let the little people know their place.

Something like this traumatized me when I was young, and I've seen it happen in jobs I worked before to other people. When it happened to other people, once in a while managers would flat-out acknowledge what they were doing, and laugh because they know the victim can't defend themselves.

I'd just be fortunate that it's only brought up by two female employees and that the matter is apparently dead to management (which it should, since he basically did nothing whatsoever.

And obviously, no matter how lonely someone gets, if anyone EVER files complaints or intends to, there is no reason to involve yourself with them any more than you have to. If you think you can reconcile something like that, you're wrong. I'd just drop the matter entirely and avoid talking to those women for a while. There are better places and people to ask for advice, and probably better women out there.
 
there is no hope said:
Aisha said:
Triple Bogey said:
You don't know half of it.

Today one of my jobs was a 'customer journey' which is walking around the shop and looking to see how the shop is; how clean, are all the products on sale, are baskets available etc. One other job was to see if the colleagues have all the correct badges on.

So I walk up to these women (the same two) and look for the badges. Both of them stood in front of me, unzipped their jackets and basically jiggled their tits at me while saying things like 'do you want a look at our knickers as well ?'

Stuff like this isn't unusual, happens all the time !

What the absolute donald freaking duck..

Didn't you report them? What on earth is wrong with some people..

What kind of world do you live in? This is the workplace for anyone with the misfortune of being on the bottom. Report someone without support and HR/management will just intensify pressure on whoever complains. One of the things management loves to do is use dubious harassment complaints to fire someone and ruin their lives, because it's a convenient pretext for denying unemployment compensation and because managers love to let the little people know their place.

When I said what is wrong with some people, I was referring to the women. And as for asking whether he reported them, it was just a question. Obviously TB will know how things operate with workplace politics being what they are, and what to do, and whether it's the right thing to do or not. I wasn't about to presume to tell him how to do his job.
 
If you two like each other then go for it. If you enjoy spending time with the girl then things CAN change in 16 years.
 
Stonely said:
If you two like each other then go for it. If you enjoy spending time with the girl then things CAN change in 16 years.

I don't think she likes me at all, in fact she probably hates my guts.
I think the 2 women were just taking the piss.
 
You shouldn't bother. She had a chance years ago and made it clear you're not wanted, why debase yourself by trying again? If that girl likes you she has to come to you, because there is absolutely no reason to forget what happened in the past. I rather doubt that will happen, and if by some strange chance she did do that it would be best to ignore and reject her.

There are better women out there, surely.
 
TheRealCallie said:
I think you work with a bunch of immature old women trying to relive their "glory" days.
^+1000. Bless the hearts of any men in their lives ....

TheRealCallie said:
Also, I really think you should consider reporting those two women, they really push the line way too far.
^Plus another 1000. I would be in HR's office faster than these washed up bitties could say, 'settlement'. They sound like bullies, in my opinion. As long as they get away with that sort of behavior, it will continue.


Triple Bogey said:
I think the 2 women were just taking the piss.
I don't know what 'taking the piss' means, but if it means that they are messing with your head to get a rise out of you, then I agree.


As for advice on the OP, if you have no/never had any interest in the girl, let it go. Regardless of whatever Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum tried to tell you.
 
I think these women are just yanking your chain, and would get a great kick out of you getting yourself reported and in trouble. If you got in trouble last time, then the honeysuckle would really hit the fan this time.

I do wonder what the other woman would think if she knew how these two were using her to mess with you.
 
Triple Bogey said:
Stonely said:
If you two like each other then go for it. If you enjoy spending time with the girl then things CAN change in 16 years.

I don't think she likes me at all, in fact she probably hates my guts.
I think the 2 women were just taking the piss.

oh yes. just deal with it then and suffer.
 
I think your co workers are crap and baiting you. Do not fall for it. The only civilized way I have to tell someone I am not interested in them is to give them the glare eyes. Listen to the glare eyes. You wouldn't be questioning it except for your co workers.

But I know this happens everyplace. I was on the phone with a co worker the other day when an e-mail came in from another co worker. I never knew his last name before and I wanted to know it because-- frankly, if he messed up I wanted to know who to report (that sounds bad but often their failure to tell me who they are makes it hard to report). But my phone co worker goes, oh why do you want to date him?

What? I think I took the wind of her sails by laughing and going yeh if I had any shot, but what is he like 10? Then I said, better not don't want to be arrested for corrupting a minor. (I don't know how old he is but he looks about 20). I let it go because it is just the way she thinks but I hate that kind of bait. I feel like is a massive problem for single people. (the baiting by co workers)
 
echoing there is no hope...

You should certainly not ask this woman out again - remove that from your thought process- it could get you in some serious trouble this time around.

These "friends" of yours are goading you, but I would NOT report them. They sound like the immature sort who might react by filing a vindictive counter-harassment claim. Then you're up honeysuckle creek again.

Just do your best to ignore it and keep your dignity.
 
ardour said:
echoing there is no hope...

You should certainly not ask this woman out again - remove that from your thought process- it could get you in some serious trouble this time around.

These "friends" of yours are goading you, but I would NOT report them. They sound like the immature sort who might react by filing a vindictive counter-harassment claim. Then you're up honeysuckle creek again.

Just do your best to ignore it and keep your dignity.

Third to the not asking her out. You don't want to get in-trouble again and get a reputation.

If the women are disgusting you, or making you feel uncomfortable, report them. Two women at my work were harassing me about not having a boyfriend last year. It got to my boss, and they got in trouble, and it made work more enjoyable.
 

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