this girl i like...

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dn560

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last year was at the airport and there i saw this girl, she was pretty she had a cute face nice flowing hair and the sweetest voice. this might sound stupid but i fell for her ever since, i for one never had this happen before im the type of guy to get to know someone then after a while i might like someone but this was different, i fell for her. i think about her ever since then i saw her again but i was in a car, my uncle seems to know who she is and says he wil ltake me to meet her but im scared i get rejected. back then i was good when it came to girls mostly because i had my long hair clear skin and i was alot more fun back then. ive changed since due to hypothyroidism, anxiety, depression etc. i dont talk to anyone no more but i really like this girl i havent been in a relationship since 2012 before i got ill. i have been lonely ever since really wanna talk to her get to know her but i feel if she looks at how hideous i am she'd probably think im ugly and a loser (because i am) so idk. theres something about her that makes me smile and smiling is something that i do rarely, it might seem weird in a way she doesnt even know who i am and im crushing on her. might sound stupid also but i feel sort of a connection between us or maybe im insane but all i know is theres something about this girl that captured my attention. really dont wanna meet her my confidence is in the toilet and i might hyperventilate and embarass myself so idk...really had to get this off my chest sigh....:'(
 
This was nice to read. I couldn't tell you what to do, only what I think. You could speculate until you're blue in the face about whether she'll reject you or not. The thing is, you won't know until you try and find out. Some may tell you that you're wasting your time or that you're setting yourself up for failure but that's speculation as well. The only thing that is known is that if you do nothing, nothing will happen. The real question is if you can live with not knowing? I understand your apprehension. Being an unattractive guy myself, I've stared longingly at many women and never done anything. I tend to regret most if not all of those times. One thing I've learned though is that looks usually don't factor into getting to know someone better as a person. I think meeting her is worth a shot if you feel that strongly about her. Just be careful how you go about doing that. You definitely want to avoid a creepy vibe. lol Maybe the women of ALL could give you some advice as well. I hope it works for you in the best way possible.
 
I think you should try to get to know her better. Keep it casual, friendly conversation, a few laughs.... let her get to see your personality. I am sure you are not ugly, as you say, so I wouldn't even worry about that!! Just be yourself, don;t "try" too hard, and just keep things light!

You'll do great! :)
 
As Danielle said.

You'll be fine. Just talk normally and don't exaggerate. Be yourself and, as you talk, you'll naturally get closer ;) And you'll get to know her too, in the process.

My advice is not to worry... be positive... I'm not saying things will go well for sure, but you should be at your best and worrying will just keep you unneedingly tense and maybe even a bit paranoid. Just stay calm and see how things go.

Good luck ;) I'll be cheering for you.
 
Here's my experience on the love/lust as first site. Just offering up some thoughts...

Since you don't know her aside from her appearance, your brain is "filling in" all the empty spaces and creating this great/perfect image of a person and you then get nervous about meeting and talking because you are completely aware of your own "faults" (what you perceive are your faults might not be). So you don't meet or talk. Where more likely than not, if you met your brain would then start to take bits and pieces and start putting together the puzzle and creating a real person - who she really is. Then you'll start to realize that she isn't the perfect person that you were so nervous/anxious to meet. She's just like you, not perfect (because none of us are). It's something like watching a movie for the first time - you think it's great and love it but then you look at it for a second or third time and start to see the mistakes (that cup wasn't in the last scene or where did his jacket go?). We (or at least I) put a considerable amount of pressure on ourselves given the lack of information. Anyway, I hope you do meet her - just take a deep breath and say "hi."
 
That's really sweet.

However, try talking to her. As someone said above she could be different when you get to know her. It seems like you have more of a physical attraction then anything else at this stage.

Try to talk to her. Remember she's just a human like us all. So, as has been said most likely has many faults.
I know that's tough, I've been in situations like this before. But you go for it! :)
 
thanks for the positive replies you guys but i dont think i'll meet her, theres just too many differences between us, first off im ugly, second shes all happy and smiley and stuff im angry and gloomy all the time and she hangs with much better looking guys so whats the point of getting to know her or introducing myself i'll just come across as desperate and hell her guy friends might laugh at me and i'd probably end up kicking their asses since i got anger issues. Its a nice story when i look at it but its not meant to happen...
 
dn560 said:
thanks for the positive replies you guys but i dont think i'll meet her, theres just too many differences between us, first off im ugly, second shes all happy and smiley and stuff im angry and gloomy all the time and she hangs with much better looking guys so whats the point of getting to know her or introducing myself i'll just come across as desperate and hell her guy friends might laugh at me and i'd probably end up kicking their asses since i got anger issues. Its a nice story when i look at it but its not meant to happen...


You sound like me. I can think of a thousand excuses why I shouldn't say hi to someone or why I shouldn't do something and in the end I hurt myself. I can't tell you what to do because I'm in the same boat. But it doesn't hurt to say hi. If you do that you will feel better.
 
BeyondShy said:
dn560 said:
thanks for the positive replies you guys but i dont think i'll meet her, theres just too many differences between us, first off im ugly, second shes all happy and smiley and stuff im angry and gloomy all the time and she hangs with much better looking guys so whats the point of getting to know her or introducing myself i'll just come across as desperate and hell her guy friends might laugh at me and i'd probably end up kicking their asses since i got anger issues. Its a nice story when i look at it but its not meant to happen...


You sound like me. I can think of a thousand excuses why I shouldn't say hi to someone or why I shouldn't do something and in the end I hurt myself. I can't tell you what to do because I'm in the same boat. But it doesn't hurt to say hi. If you do that you will feel better.

Its on rare occasions that i see her, and most of the time its one of those days when im feeling ill or im busy but i'll try to say Hi to her hopefully my anxiety will give me a break on that day.
 
You fell for this girl based only on her looks, and since then you've been creating a fantasy in your mind of meeting her and what she'll be like. Your illness has resulted in you losing confidence in yourself and you worry how such a beautiful girl will see you. It sounds like you're focusing your mind on all the negatives. Just remember, she is only human, just like you, and may be shy, lack confidence, and worry about you would think of her. With regards your skin and hair, try taking a few supplements and ensure you're eating a healthy diet. Drinking plenty of water will help your skin.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, sit down with a pen and paper and write down everything that's good about you. past achievements, etc. you will amazed at what you can come up with.
 
It's common idea that pretty girl is bad, impolite, dating just nice guys,...
You wouldn't believe how much pretty girls are alone because all guys expect this.
And if somebody is brave enough to talk to her he just want to have a sex.

You can be the first different one. Ignore if you think you are ugly. Look how much pretty girls are dating low IQ gorilla-looking guys. Because these "gorillas" just ask them.

1. Imagine what worst can happen when you start to talk to her.
Will she kill you? No.
Will she ignore you? May be. Nothing horrible.
Will she humiliate you in front of others? Pretty bad but it probably happened to you already few times. (It happened to me too much, I stop to count it.) And you survived.

Therefore imagine the worst possible scenarios what can happen.

2. Except such worst scenarios.
Approach her with prepared mind for all these horrible thinks can happen.
Like ninja prepared for death.

3. (Optional) Let's surprise yourself with better reality.
 
dn560 said:
thanks for the positive replies you guys but i dont think i'll meet her, theres just too many differences between us, first off im ugly, second shes all happy and smiley and stuff im angry and gloomy all the time and she hangs with much better looking guys so whats the point of getting to know her or introducing myself i'll just come across as desperate and hell her guy friends might laugh at me and i'd probably end up kicking their asses since i got anger issues. Its a nice story when i look at it but its not meant to happen...
I agree you shouldn't try, at this stage.

1) You have oneitis - which is dangerous since liking a girl too much is never good, you will stifle yourself and act more needy around her. I made a video on this if you're interested.

2) You're not 100% secure with yourself. Girls are ****ing intuitive and pick up non-verbal language just like that.

Improve yourself first. Good luck :)
 

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