ladyforsaken said:
There is a difference between lying and not stating certain facts to people. There's a discretion you make when you interact with people, what's rude and what's not, what's appropriate and what's not. It doesn't mean you have to lie. Not saying it out loud does not mean you're lying. Like I said, I would evade the topic or the situation if I don't see that telling a fact or truth to someone helps in any way.
Yes, definitely. There is definitely a difference there and I don't want to marginalize that. Many people do believe 'omission' is still lying, but I'm actually in agreement with you there. If someone is simply just keeping to themselves I don't really consider it lying.
In fact the difference here is why I rarely ever talk to people anymore. To hide the things people don't really want to know, even if it might be helpful to them. I just can't stand people's reactions anymore, good or bad. Especially to trivial or minor things. My life is so much easier if I just don't talk at all sometimes.
Anyway, all I was saying is that in the larger scope these are just things people don't really want to know even if they had the choice to know. It's why many of us learn not to ask certain questions, like how the clerk is doing at the local convenience store when he's giving us a nasty stare. I don't know about you, but I honestly don't want to know their problems if people are going to treat me like that.
ladyforsaken said:
Personally, I'd rather have my partner tell me things like that than keep it to himself and who knows, harbour whatever assumptions or who knows what. It's also to make me realise what's going on if I'm not aware. Maybe I'm putting on weight because I've been so stressed - and him noticing it might give me a wake-up call. I know it doesn't work with everyone, but just stating that I'm not like this. That said, I don't mind either if he prefers to keep it to himself, so long as he doesn't start any unnecessary or negative thoughts.
There's exceptions, of course.
Most people, at least of all the people I've met in my life, just plain don't want to know the truth very often. And when they say they do want to know, you can actually tell by the way they react that they really didn't. You can easily tell they were happier just not knowing, or just hearing a 'white lie', or even a blatant lie.
Emperor's new clothes and all that.
ladyforsaken said:
Your post isn't harmful or malicious, a lot of people might resonate with you on your thoughts but then there are also those who don't feel the same way but that doesn't mean anyone's wrong. Just differing opinions.
Well let's just say, I've 'neutralized' a lot of what I could have said in a manner to avoid the 'usual kind of response'. And I'm sure there are many "opinions" of what I just said, anyway.
ladyforsaken said:
The truth always hurts, but I believe that in most cases it does provide much advantage to the people involved. I'm not gonna talk about politics and honeysuckle cos it'll get nowhere and nothing can be done but I'm talking about real people who have real feelings and conscience. I want the truth. If my partner doesn't have feelings for me anymore or wants to see someone else, I would hope he tells me as soon as he starts feeling it because it's really not nice being lied to about that. So you're kinda wrong to say that no one wants it. But I get that maybe you meant to say, some people might not want it... cos I am saying right now, I'd rather have the truth anytime.
You're speaking entirely of 'person to person', though. You said yourself you're not speaking of politics and things of that matter.
But I am speaking on a more general, social level. From person-to-person that you meet on the street, whose name you don't even know. And your governments who decide the laws, whose reasons which you don't know and could not know even if you tried everything you could to do so.
On a more intimate level, partner to partner, friend to friend, etc., yeah there's lots of people who might want to know more about what's going on than not, but that's really just a tiny, tiny piece of the cake overall.
It's hard to say that when most of us here have so few social connections, but it really is true. Even when we're completely alone on the personal level, we still have so many levels of society above us: Neighborhood, Community, State, Region, Nation, World, to name each one. All part of human society. We're deeply affected by each one of these things, despite not really realizing it or noticing it much. These aren't just small effects, either. Some are major issues in our life, but we feel hopeless. Your reference to politics as being 'nothing can be done' is certainly a perspective quite common to our society. But since we're speaking of the truth... Let me ask. Is that the absolute truth?
Our society is built lies upon lies. To the point where sometimes we think we know the truth, but all along that 'truth' was built upon a lie given us all along that we failed to question. We're all guilty of this, because we're all built on this same foundation.
Royal lines, Imperialism, Slavery, Racism, Nazism, Religious Persecution, Nationalism, Politics, Capitalism, etc.. No matter the issue or context, it's built upon things that we do not question. Things that were there when we were born, things that rock everything, the whole world, if we dare to question them. And if you look at this list, some of those things have indeed rocked the whole world when they were questioned. Some, on the other hand, rocked the world when they were not being questioned.
Obviously I do not look so fondly upon society, but I still have to disagree with you. The truth doesn't provide much of an advantage to anyone personally. The truth needs to be openly accepted by many, or at least things must be questioned publicly, for there to be any reasonable impact on individual lives.
Or, maybe I should say it this way: The truth must be accepted at the highest level of the issue. If it's a personal matter between you and your partner, then of course the only one who needs to accept it is you or your partner. There is no real issue above that level. For a community problem, the community must accept the problem, not just a hanful of individuals. A state problem, the state must accept the problem and not just one community or a few people, and so on, etc.
ladyforsaken said:
As someone who's been cheated on and lied to - I wish I would've known sooner. How I really wish, I would've known sooner...
Sadly, there are even people in this world in the same situation who wish they never knew at all.
Even then, I do have some sympathy for those people. What real advantage in life does knowing the truth give them? Many of them are worse off knowing the truth, facing the truth, and accepting the truth, than to simply just pretend like everything is okay.
I'm sorry that happened to you, though. I know how world-shattering that can be.
Sometimes the truth brings the possibility of better futures, and sometimes we wish we could have known before, so that we would already possess that future. I know feeling extremely well, but I personally feel that it's not worth dwelling on. I smile for who I am now, what decisions I've made to bring me here, and I move on. I hope you can do the same.
