Should I email a girl that I like?

Hello all.

There is something I have been thinking of doing, for quite a while now, but I remain undecided if it is a good idea to even bother.
I know an email of a girl that I like, and that I have liked for the past 2-3 years.
She is someone that if I could choose anyone to get to know, anybody at all, it would be her. First pick.
I'm pretty sure she likes me too, but just 'likes' because I think she knows I am a nice, or at least a gentle, person. Not so sure however she likes me in a special way / is attracted to me.
The dilemma is, I don't see her very often at all, don't really know a whole lot about her, and I am not comfortable approaching her, because I will get too anxious. So although I think it would probably be best to just approach her, I don't think that I will ever have that opportunity in which the time is right and I am in the right mood. Most of the time when I do see her, which is rare, I'm too anxious to even look at her and say hello. And the more I think about it, the more anxious I get. She may by now even think I am weird or worse. I have talked to her briefly several times before, but those were quite some time ago.
So... should I email her something?
I'm not very good at understanding social rules. I'm not sure if doing this would be weird/creepy? or might it be sort of sweet? or just inappropriate?

You could email, but it depends what you are going to say. If it's somekind of confession email, she might be creeped out about it. I think if some guy liked me but wouldn't even try to talk to me in person, it would be a negative thing. But everyone is different and life is short. Go for the things you want.

I agree with coffeeaddict If you do email her than play it cool. Just ask her how things are and take it from there. Be mindful of your feelings because if you don't keep your eagerness in check then it can often end up being too much for a lot of girls.

Well if you rarely see her and feel to anxious to approach her when you do then I suppose sending her an email in the hope that it'll kick something off might be a good idea. But the first thing you should do is explain why your emailing. For example she could get creeped out the fact that she receives an email asking her how she is etc...

You should approach her instead of emailing her. And just out of curiosity, how did you get her email, did she give it to you?

Like what Sci said, I'd suggest you approach her in person and talk to her instead of e-mail. If you've liked her for that amount of time and you're pretty sure she likes you too, there isn't much harm in talking to her, is there?

if you haven't got the balls to talk to her then try it.
Don't have any expectations though. It hasn't much chance of working.

Since you don't know her that well you shouldn't email her. It will come across creepy no matter what you say. Don't think about it, just talk to her, maybe ask her to lunch first rather than a "date".

I agree with the last posts. If you barely know her, then better try to talk to her in person first. There's a big chance it would make you look creepy.

Did she give you her email ? If she didnt and you don't talk to her much, I gotta be honest, she's gonna think you're a creep and prob wonder how you found her email. I would take baby steps, start with greetings and work up to small talk. You didn't mention how you know her, is it possible to accidently run into her more often so you could engage in conversation?

Yeah I don't even know what I want to say, and I do very much agree that it would be better to talk to her in person. The problem is that I may never have that opportunity, and I find it very difficult to talk to people, any people, out of no-where unless for a reason. It is not really in my personality to be engaging. I am quite a shy person by nature, I have always been that way my whole life. Also I like communication through emails as it gives me time & space to think about things and communicate privately.

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

I've actually done this once before, emailed a girl anonymously and complimented her. I said I see you beautiful smiling face every day and it makes my day. She actually emailed back asking who I am. However in that case, I really was not interested in meeting her, just wanted to say that because I saw her picture every day so I never replied.

msbxa said:

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

I've actually done this once before, emailed a girl anonymously and complimented her. I said I see you beautiful smiling face every day and it makes my day. She actually emailed back asking who I am. However in that case, I really was not interested in meeting her, just wanted to say that because I saw her picture every day so I never replied.

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I can honestly say, not even as just a female, but as a person in general, that I don't think I'd really care for this approach. Not because there's anything really wrong with it, but it's a little odd to get a random email from someone I don't know (or that wouldn't even leave their name) and it saying something like that. I don't know how I'd feel about that. Some people don't mind. Some people might even like it. But there's always that third option of someone not appreciating it.

VanillaCreme said:

I can honestly say, not even as just a female, but as a person in general, that I don't think I'd really care for this approach. Not because there's anything really wrong with it, but it's a little odd to get a random email from someone I don't know (or that wouldn't even leave their name) and it saying something like that. I don't know how I'd feel about that. Some people don't mind. Some people might even like it. But there's always that third option of someone not appreciating it.

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I did something like this once and after I tell you about it I guarantee you'll laugh.

I had such a crush on a friend of my cousins once that I went to a florist shop in the mall and sent flowers anonymously to her.

Before I did this I went into the food court and sat for awhile looking for a particular person. I wanted to find what I considered an honest face and I got lucky when I spotted and older woman sitting alone and drinking coffee. I went up to her and asked her if she could place an order for one dozen roses when she was done. Back in those days I had momentary lapses of boldness where I was able to tell people exactly what I wanted.

I told her I was too bashful to place the order and if the girl called the florist to find out the florist would have been able to describe me and then there would have been a chance she would have figured out it was me.

So the lady ended up helping me out. We walked to the florist and I handed her the money and the address and the flowers were bought and sent. When she came out she handed me the receipt and I gave her a tip for helping me out. Then we parted ways.

The girl got the flowers. She wondered who sent them. I heard that she asked all her friends. Now here's the funny part. Fifteen years later she's still wondering.

msbxa said:

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

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An anonymous e-mail would be creepier still in my opinion.

ardour said:

msbxa said:

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

Click to expand...

An anonymous e-mail would be creepier still in my opinion.

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^ I agree, I would find it creepy. If you're going to email, please don't do it anonymously.


On a semi-related note, I got an anonymous text recently: "Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night."

Solivagant said:

ardour said:

msbxa said:

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

Click to expand...

An anonymous e-mail would be creepier still in my opinion.

Click to expand...

^ I agree, I would find it creepy. If you're going to email, please don't do it anonymously.


On a semi-related note, I got an anonymous text recently: "Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night."

Click to expand...

Omg that happened to me too, like a year ago though. He said he couldn't stop fantasizing about my boobs. I asked who it was but he only told me he met me a few times through mutual friends. I just want to know how the eff he got my number. He got really graphic after that so I stopped replying to him, so awkward and creepy.

BeyondShy said:

VanillaCreme said:

I can honestly say, not even as just a female, but as a person in general, that I don't think I'd really care for this approach. Not because there's anything really wrong with it, but it's a little odd to get a random email from someone I don't know (or that wouldn't even leave their name) and it saying something like that. I don't know how I'd feel about that. Some people don't mind. Some people might even like it. But there's always that third option of someone not appreciating it.

Click to expand...

I did something like this once and after I tell you about it I guarantee you'll laugh.

I had such a crush on a friend of my cousins once that I went to a florist shop in the mall and sent flowers anonymously to her.

Before I did this I went into the food court and sat for awhile looking for a particular person. I wanted to find what I considered an honest face and I got lucky when I spotted and older woman sitting alone and drinking coffee. I went up to her and asked her if she could place an order for one dozen roses when she was done. Back in those days I had momentary lapses of boldness where I was able to tell people exactly what I wanted.

I told her I was too bashful to place the order and if the girl called the florist to find out the florist would have been able to describe me and then there would have been a chance she would have figured out it was me.

So the lady ended up helping me out. We walked to the florist and I handed her the money and the address and the flowers were bought and sent. When she came out she handed me the receipt and I gave her a tip for helping me out. Then we parted ways.

The girl got the flowers. She wondered who sent them. I heard that she asked all her friends. Now here's the funny part. Fifteen years later she's still wondering.

Click to expand...

If you still know her, you should tell her.

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ardour said:

msbxa said:

Another option I've thought of is to just email anonymously and just give a compliment. Then if she replies, then maybe can go from there? I don't know.

Click to expand...

An anonymous e-mail would be creepier still in my opinion.

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yes me too and pointless.

Triple Bogey said:

If you still know her, you should tell her.

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Yes I should. What is one more rejection on top of the others?

There are a couple of reasons why I can't. First I have no idea if this girl is my cousin's friend anymore or what she is doing these days. I live too far away to do anything about it anyway.

Thank you for asking.

lonelypanda said:

Solivagant said:

On a semi-related note, I got an anonymous text recently: "Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night."

Click to expand...

Omg that happened to me too, like a year ago though. He said he couldn't stop fantasizing about my boobs. I asked who it was but he only told me he met me a few times through mutual friends. I just want to know how the eff he got my number. He got really graphic after that so I stopped replying to him, so awkward and creepy.

Click to expand...

Oh my gosh. I've received similar text messages as well. One said something about how he was going to treat me right all night long. I was so confused I started laughing. Came from a Philly number, I think, so it wasn't from anyone around here.

Not my buddy BeyondShy