I think I might end up all alone forever.

Hi!

I'm a 29 year old guy.

I'm going to be totally honest here. I have only had sex with one single girl for my entire life. That was 9 years ago....

I'm a loser in the sense that most people don't like me. The main reason for this is that I hardly ever speak or say a word. I suspect I might have selective mutinism, since sometimes, I can't even speak altough I want to.

People avoid me, like really avoid me in irl for this. I feel rather sad and depressed. I don't know how to reach out to others, I really don't. i try to be open and speak out. but it always comes out as awkvard and stupid. I dunno. Maybe I'm too dumb or afraid to be with others?

I have no friends. I study art at the moment. But I can't find any meaning in life. Im badass at painting and sculpting, but what does it matter when no girl likes me?

I don't want to be alone forver, and make my mother disappointed beacuse she can't ever have any grandchildren.

Why can't anyone ever love me?

Sorry about the spelling, I'm drunk atm.

Fragile said:

Hi!

I'm a 29 year old guy.

I'm going to be totally honest here. I have only had sex with one single girl for my entire life. That was 9 years ago....

I'm a loser in the sense that most people don't like me. The main reason for this is that I hardly ever speak or say a word. I suspect I might have selective mutinism, since sometimes, I can't even speak altough I want to.

People avoid me, like really avoid me in irl for this. I feel rather sad and depressed. I don't know how to reach out to others, I really don't. i try to be open and speak out. but it always comes out as awkvard and stupid. I dunno. Maybe I'm too dumb or afraid to be with others?

I have no friends. I study art at the moment. But I can't find any meaning in life. Im badass at painting and sculpting, but what does it matter when no girl likes me?

I don't want to be alone forver, and make my mother disappointed beacuse she can't ever have any grandchildren.

Why can't anyone ever love me?

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Two questions:

1.) How is the relationship between you and your mother? She may not care about grandchildren as much as you think.

2.) Why do you consider a girl liking you to be the sole point of life?

Are many women actually aware of your painting and sculpting skills? If not then maybe their attitude to you would change if they were.

Fragile said:

"and make my mother disappointed beacuse she can't ever have any grandchildren". Live your life, your mother had her chance so now this is your life, worry about what you want or need.

Why can't anyone ever love me? I used to think "why I am alone if i only want to love, care and be loved and cared?" and i realized that We dont always have what we deserve. I think in people who are sick with cancer, pain, etc. and i have the answer WE DONT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE DESERVE

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Good luck, you have a friend here

I tried to reach out to people myself, didn't like the feeling. I still get the impression that people don't really care or they think they don't have the time. Or, they feel just as helpless as I do, and I don't even know it.

I don't speak a lot myself either, but a lot of the people I'm around with usually don't choose to speak up first either. Although you, like a lot of people, don't really surprise me. I hear about this all the time for some reason, and yet my experiences are quite different. A lot of things I hear are not what they're said to be. Where do you live? What's it like there? I want to know more.

I don't know what girls not liking you has to do with any of this, or your mother. You should probably forget about them. It doesn't make sense, at least to me. But I'm curious about something else: do you feel unappreciated? That's what I'm going through myself right now. In any case, I don't think it seems like it for someone studying art to be worried about those things. But I THINK I can feel you here. I don't know...

Fragile said:

Hi!

I'm a 29 year old guy.

I'm going to be totally honest here. I have only had sex with one single girl for my entire life. That was 9 years ago....

I'm a loser in the sense that most people don't like me. The main reason for this is that I hardly ever speak or say a word. I suspect I might have selective mutinism, since sometimes, I can't even speak altough I want to.

People avoid me, like really avoid me in irl for this. I feel rather sad and depressed. I don't know how to reach out to others, I really don't. i try to be open and speak out. but it always comes out as awkvard and stupid. I dunno. Maybe I'm too dumb or afraid to be with others?

I have no friends. I study art at the moment. But I can't find any meaning in life. Im badass at painting and sculpting, but what does it matter when no girl likes me?

I don't want to be alone forver, and make my mother disappointed beacuse she can't ever have any grandchildren.

Why can't anyone ever love me?

Click to expand...

I can relate, although I'm only 20 and I've never had sexual intercourse. Nobody likes me either, and it could be because I don't speak a lot either. Do you know how you came to be like this? I came to be like this because of never really having any friends and nobody ever wanted to listen to what I have to say anyway, and so over time I became less and less talkative. Now to the point where I probably don't even say 1000 words a day.

whimsicalspirit said:

I don't know what girls not liking you has to do with any of this,

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I think it's because he feels that if no girls like him now, then no girls will ever like him and he'll end up alone in some apartment somewhere just, well I don't want to say wasting, but for lack of a better word, wasting his life. And that's exactly the way I feel.

Well this problems its because you dont have confidence in you .I will ask yo some questions ? You have a purpose in life and what it is .I see you are very negative and unfortunately this are buried in your mind .Read a lot of books about mind and will help you a lot .Read Law of atraction it will change your life .Just dont be so pesimistic and say to you : Well i will change my life right now ,

Law of atraction is like praying to non believers.

Omnipotent Soul said:

I think it's because he feels that if no girls like him now, then no girls will ever like him and he'll end up alone in some apartment somewhere just, well I don't want to say wasting, but for lack of a better word, wasting his life. And that's exactly the way I feel.

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Why do you two think that you have to be appealing to girls so you won't end up being alone and wasting your life? That's like saying that you have to go to church to be able to do good things.

You don't.

Girls are neither objects of affection, nor a prominent in goal in our lives as men. They're people. People like you and I. And some of them might be as complex as any of us are. I know this because there was a girl I wanted to know more about because I liked her, and it turns out she suffered from clinical depression, and was lonely growing up.

And like Fragile, she was an artist too.

I don't believe that it was your intention to think of girls that way. But whether it was or not, you need to stop. That's not what they are...and that's not what WE are. Losing your virginity doesn't make you anymore of a man than the average male. As a virgin, I could care less about how many partners you had in your life. That's not something to be proud of.

One of the first things I would do right now is to learn to treat yourself with better respect. Don't find meaning in life; establish your own, and stay loyal to that meaning. You should be the one to decide who and what you are, not them. Because you're right; you are a loser. But there's always room for self improvement, and being a loser in life doesn't last forever.

If there is anything I hate to do, it's the fact that there are times where I have to do things for others. In the end, the act also reminds me that I still have yet to do the same for myself. That's a position you don't want to be in, and that's why I've decided that as harsh as this post may sound, I will ensure that it won't happen by at least making you consider not being alone forever.

I'm young, and I made too many mistakes that I should have. You, on the other hand, are too old for that. You're at the verge of entering your 30's, and I find that a lot of people around that age are usually the happiest in their lives. Who is to say that you don't deserve to be happy?

Do yourself a favor, and whatever you do, do not waste the last few months of your twenties.

Fragile said:

I'm going to be totally honest here. I have only had sex with one single girl for my entire life. That was 9 years ago....

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At least you've had sex... -_-

If it makes you feel better, I'm gonna be 26-years-old and I'm doing worse than you; I've pretty much given up on life, don't care if I'm alive or dead.

Omnipotent Soul said:

Now to the point where I probably don't even say 1000 words a day.

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I probably don't even say 100. =P

Hey,
I know the feeling. I felt like you for many years and it's a horrible thing to go through. At times, I felt like every time I opened my eyes I wanted to die.
As quiet, and "unlikable" I am...it took me a long time to find my life partner. I always kept myself involved in opportunities to meet people - despite it 99% of the time going wrong. When it gets to be too much, it's okay to take a break.
I never thought I'd find someone to love me (I mean, I've spent most of my life being rejected/ hated) and I did.
Don't beat yourself out...most people are not worth your time and you deserve better.
A little hope goes a long way...(hugs)

I'm 25 and I haven't done well with girls at all but recently I've started working out at the gym a lot and I'm starting to feel more confident as my body changes and as my mental strength grows from it as well. It might be all in my head but I think women might be looking at me differently as well.

I realize that the gym isn't everyone's thing and being the type of guy who's typical been into stuff like history and religion, it wouldn't have been my thing a while ago but I honestly suggest you give it a go.

You will feel the same as you do now, even if the whole world starts loving you. Because you don't love yourself. But if you love yourself, you will have no problem even if the whole world hates you. You will never feel lonely even if the whole universe is against you, if you love yourself.

BUT, self love is extremely difficult. For people like you and me. The best example is me, even though I know the above fact, I can't love myself. In the state of depression and loneliness, self love is very difficult.

Still, I have somethings that might help you.
Read my initial posts. You will see how depressed I used to be and how attitude I used to carry. I am still depressed, but changing my attitude is the best decision I ever made. I'll explain.

Just like happiness, sadness, etc., loneliness is a feeling. You are not alone, you have your parents around you, you could get a pet, you could talk here with someone, but you don't feel like doing it. That is the FEELING of loneliness. Talking to people and getting a pet won't cure your loneliness, as you know.

This concludes that our loneliness is not dependent on other people. Take your own example, you have a mother who has some expectations from you. You want to fulfill them, means I guess you love her. But still you feel lonely. Tell me, just by adding more people in your life like your mother, will it change anything?

So what is it? How to get out of that feeling? How to practice self love?

The mistake you are doing is that you think: "Most people don't like me". Does it really matter? As I said above. Its not that they don't like you, its that you don't like yourself. Why? Because you consider other people as better than you. As they are someone you should impress. Why? Are they special beings sent to test whether you can impress them or not? No, they have a limited time on earth just like you, they have their own goals and beliefs just like you. They are just imperfect humans like you. If they don't take the time to impress you, why should you?

The most ignored being in the world is our heart. We almost never listen to our heart. If you go deep inside your heart, you will see that it does not want any other human, it wants you. It wants you to listen. Other humans do not matter to our heart. And if you use your energy on other humans, your heart keeps on going more silent, weak.

If you feel you are a loser, do this exercise:
Make a list of what are the things that make you feel like a loser.
You will see that most of them do not have a meaning.
And if you come up with something, find a way to cure it, instead of crying. If you were born without problems, you would'd have no purpose to live.

2. Upgrade yourself. Why not invest some time and money in being the best version of yourself and see what happens then? Think, what would happen if you are the best version of yourself? A person with a set of skills, a person with a goal?

I am 21 and even having a girl smile back at me is a fantasy of mine. I don't know how it feels like to hug a person or kiss. I don't know what to talk to girls. Still I am alive.
You had someone (even though it was 9 years ago), who spent time with no other person in the world, but with you. She could be with a "BETTER" guy, why did she choose you? She must have seen something that could be better than others!?!?!?!?! Think!!

Also, a question, what kind of art do your study?

i don't know man. i feel the same. honeysuckle like this is difficult to remedy. maybe the best thing you could do is try to learn to be happy on your own.

i could be in a relationship if i really tried. but unrest is within me, i walk with achilles foot

I very much relate to the original poster. And I am even older than him.
But, there is one thing I strongly disagree on.
I don't think he or anyone else similar is a "loser", just because they have trouble talking, have not had a partner or sex in many years. This kind of thinking is messed up and warped. I think that society foolishly places values in and are wrapped up with superficial bullshit. And that kind of poisonous thinking has infected us all to some degree unfortunately.
The only people that are actually "losers" in my opinion are those who purposely hurt or put down others in order to bring themselves up or to just make others miserable because they are. Or people who think or try to be cool and popular by doing whatever society tells them is cool, and then they put down others who are not popular or cool or in the norm according to what mainstream society tells them what is. Because those kind of people really can not think for themselves. They are really just sheep.

I wish people would stop saying that girls aren't important

So I was watching a lot of videos of elliot rodger latley.
You all know who he was right? The poster boy for someone being and feeling unloved, rejected dejected. And he went off the rails. And jumped the gun, figuratively and literally that he actually went to kill people he felt were in better positions socially. You can look him up.
The point is he was very well off financially. Not bad looking. And, only like 22. And if you watch any of his videos which are still on youtube where he talks about his lonley existence. You would think he was like 70 and been alone. I mean. He has issues. Many. But again. He was 22 had time on his side. 22 and never being with a woman is not so crazy or unusual. Just a point to ponder if you are curious look him up

I knew someone who was very quiet and then he went off to college and became a ceo or the head of some company then killed himself with a shotgun without a note. His brother is about 47 and gay and in the closet. I ask him why when we live in such a liberal area and he said his church friends cant know. I am not sure why nice and sweet scott killed himself. One of the nicest guys i ever meet. I wish i could talk to him somehow.

I worry about this, about being alone. I do have a close knit group of friends and a social life, but I don't believe that any woman would ever love me.