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Jana

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Is it to mainly to vent and share your story or do people actually meet/talk on the phone with other lonely people so that they won't be so lonely anymore? I understand the need to vent but wouldn't it be even better to actually find a solution, as in finding someone else in a similar situation? I've tried to reach out to lonely and even suicidal people online but rather than helping each other out they want to talk about their impossible situation. I don't get it. Are there any lonely people who are looking for a real solution, or not? Am I the only lonely person on this planet who wants to make friends with other lonely people??
 
This is no solution and there are no answer. If people had answers they wouldn't be here. Its the internet no one really wants to substitute it for real human interaction. (Usually no one) were all here because we share one thing loneliness. We all got issues if we didn't we wouldn't be on here. People are lonely or depressed or both. They want someone to listen often than not if there on a forum for loneliness its only makes sense that they have no one to talk to. No one really wants to hear someone complain about their life. They want it the other way around. You might be able to find someone willing to go 50/50 but remember its still the internet
 
Yes, people do occasionally meet up, and do reach out to one another through PMs/the forum's chatroom/skype. I wouldn't say any of that is an actual solution though. But yes, it can certainly help some with their loneliness.
 
Sometimes that is all a person wants is to vent , to be heard ... for some things there are solutions of course but there are certain issues that are not very easy to overcome quickly . Many suffer from Depression, some mildly some heavily ! i wish it was that easy to just snap out of it : (
 
No. You're not the only one. I want to make friends with the other lonely people. But note that, we also have real life. That sometimes we have our real friends ask to hang out. The loneliness disappears. But when we are alone, it appears again.
 
In order to "solve" your loneliness, you have to find the solution for yourself. Everyone is different, so we can only offer advice to the venting and ranting and problems. It's then up to you to employ that advice if you think it will work.

As Aisha said, people have met up from here, but I don't think that's the point of the forum. Letting people know that there are others out there like them is immensely helpful. Just to know they aren't alone in the their feelings, even if the people who are like them are across the world from them.
 
I met one good friend here that I've been talking to for a few years, but online friends alone won't necessarily solve loneliness and if people are only together because they're afraid to be alone, it's not much of a friendship. We're a small forum so meeting compatible friends can take time.

For many people the problem goes beyond not having enough people to talk to and includes being lonely offline, not having anyone to visit with whose voice they can hear and face they can see, or even just struggling to connect with anyone at all due to anxiety, depression, or other problems.

I think some people have serious illnesses that limit their ability to be out and about, and that aren't well-understood by others.
 
Of course there are solutions. And I'm a little confused as to why someone who has friends and/or family would even be on here? I keep seeing, "I'm so lonely, I only have my family. Or I only have my best friend, boyfriend, etc...." I thought I was lonely, too, with just my dad. Then he died and I found out what loneliness was all about. It's much more than just having nobody to play with each and every day. Sorry if I'm offending anyone but it's not like I need to worry about losing friends on here since it appears that's not the reason most people come on here anyway.
 
Loneliness is a feeling that does depend on the company of other people, but that's not the necessary scenario in every case, or even in most cases. You can feel solitary and lonely with no one to relate to even if you have friends or family or both. It's possible to feel alone in a crowd. It's more complex than having people present in your life or not. It shouldn't be anyone's place to say what someone else is going through isn't real and diminish other people's feelings and experiences because it's not something they've gone through themselves. A little empathy goes a long way.
I am very sorry to hear you lost your father. I hope you know there will still be people who care and who will want to spend time with you. Just give it some time. I did not join this forum myself with any expectations of making friends, but I have made them, and would certainly be sorry to lose them.
 
Jana said:
Is it to mainly to vent and share your story or do people actually meet/talk on the phone with other lonely people so that they won't be so lonely anymore? I understand the need to vent but wouldn't it be even better to actually find a solution, as in finding someone else in a similar situation? I've tried to reach out to lonely and even suicidal people online but rather than helping each other out they want to talk about their impossible situation. I don't get it. Are there any lonely people who are looking for a real solution, or not? Am I the only lonely person on this planet who wants to make friends with other lonely people??

I've seen people find authentic friends here, though some people post here so that other people can help them understand their loneliness. And loneliness means different things to different people. Some people feel extremely lonely because they don't have a spouse or they don't have friends or they don't have family, and want a basic connection to other people. Other people, like me, have all of those things, but feel a kind of disconnection, a kind of "existential loneliness." It feels like someone is narrating my life to me, and when I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at the protagonist of a book rather than feeling the sense of self that I presume I'm supposed to feel. I came here to understand that existential loneliness better, and some of the wonderful people here have helped me to understand that better.

If you need to connect to someone, you can talk to me. I'm interested in people.
 
Jana said:
Of course there are solutions. And I'm a little confused as to why someone who has friends and/or family would even be on here? I keep seeing, "I'm so lonely, I only have my family. Or I only have my best friend, boyfriend, etc...." I thought I was lonely, too, with just my dad. Then he died and I found out what loneliness was all about. It's much more than just having nobody to play with each and every day. Sorry if I'm offending anyone but it's not like I need to worry about losing friends on here since it appears that's not the reason most people come on here anyway.

I think that everyone has their reasons for being here. Being alone is certainly not necessary to feel lonely. Nor is feeling lonely required when you are alone. Other people's feelings are no less valid because of their circumstances. I don't find your lack of empathy offending, it will only make it harder for yourself to connect in the future.
 
Jana said:
Of course there are solutions. And I'm a little confused as to why someone who has friends and/or family would even be on here? I keep seeing, "I'm so lonely, I only have my family. Or I only have my best friend, boyfriend, etc...." I thought I was lonely, too, with just my dad. Then he died and I found out what loneliness was all about. It's much more than just having nobody to play with each and every day. Sorry if I'm offending anyone but it's not like I need to worry about losing friends on here since it appears that's not the reason most people come on here anyway.

I can somewhat relate with that loneliness you feel after losing your dad. I was lost for awhile after my dad passed away and while I won't say I was lonely, it did feel lonesome at times not to have that person who was always around to watch your back. Suddenly you feel so vulnerable to everyone and everything.

Also, this forum isn't just for lonely people. There are members on here who do not feel lonely but just like being around the company of some others around here. Some pass the time with the Games section or just to talk about some things. But yes loneliness seems to be the main issue around here - not for me. I guess I'm one of those people here who does not feel lonely.... or rather, am a loner to quite an extent.
 
Jana said:
Is it to mainly to vent and share your story or do people actually meet/talk on the phone with other lonely people so that they won't be so lonely anymore?

There have been groups that have met. Quite a number of individual meetings and even a few marriages between people who have met here. Quite a bit of venting, a lot of goofing around and a lot of friendships made.

It serves many different purposes for different people, not the least of it being, as Callie said, letting people know that they are not alone in their feelings.


TheRealCallie said:
Letting people know that there are others out there like them is immensely helpful. Just to know they aren't alone in the their feelings, even if the people who are like them are across the world from them.
 
The way I see it, loneliness is not absolutely defined by the absense of any connection, being ostracized by your environment or else. That's why we got lonely people here who are married but lack friends, others who have some friends but lack a significant other, some who have none of that and many many other derivatives. They share their stories, empathize with each other, give advice, banter, do all sorts of things. Some are just looking for what the internet has to offer in regards of interaction. The difference between interpersonal and existential loneliness is to be minded as well.

In short: The point is what you make of it.

I, for my part, am definitely here for some of that glorious goofing...
 
hello. Jana. If u want to find solution with me. I am the solution,. Just come in touch with me.
 
hello. Jana. If u want to find solution with me. I am the solution,. Just come in touch with me.
 
Plautus said:
hello. Jana. If u want to find solution with me. I am the solution,. Just come in touch with me.

How can I contact this girl if she isn't active here anymore=?
 
no she's just offline. She said she wanted a solution. So she would contact me.
 
Jana said:
And I'm a little confused as to why someone who has friends and/or family would even be on here?

I have a family and a few friends, and yet I’m here, and yet I’m lonely. Do you think that family and friends are enough to be happy? Well, it’s not.

And even if you have friends it doesn’t mean you like them so much that you are closed for new connections. For example, if you are interested in A, 1 of your friends is interested in B, and the other one is interested in C, so you are left with no one to talk to… You know, most of the people keep staying friends with someone automatically, just because they graduated together, knows each other well, etc. But they are getting more and more like strangers with years.
 

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