Deeplake

Hi! Hello!

Well, I've survived a lot of things since conception. No trophies sent out for it yet, drat!
We all just breathe together, then. Waaaaaaay cool
?Let's conga?

Last May I got over eons of "family/relationship issues", subsequent fallout (I got too old to care!) and AWFUL PTSD, and now can manage very well on my own (as he knocks off his internet by accident lol fate does have a warped sense of humour?).
It's fantastic remembering who I am and feeling like a person. I feel for anyone who has PTSD. The problem now is that for some time I felt so automated and unfeeling I was okay with feeling unconnected with people. I could program myself to do so much! Pain=pah! Now that has gone, I have to get on with life in a new area, in a new job (so lucky to have that!) at the age of 36.95 . I also sometimes now get moody like fellow fleshlings hahaha. And now lonely.
People didn't really understand what I went through in my head for four years, so I went through it alone. I didn't know how to express how I felt or what things were like until it was all over; nobody figured it out from my behaviour! Hopefully anyone going through this will be noticed and helped through. Maybe they would be reading this \0/

Some "people" were very cruel to me in the past, but I've moved on from that & I hope that they have too. My illness effectively pushed out of my life someone that I care very much about, and that's the bit I am working to get over. Silver linings!
Time makes this easier, too. Only two days ago I realised what happened wasn't my fault, and certainly not hers - it was just cruel luck and yeah, maybe fate too. I gave up hating and blaming a long while back for good and instead sought to find me again.

Not sure I'm totally keen & ready to be with someone new, but I maybe do miss intimacy only @ every 6:00-6:01 am
I am ready to have fun online like I used to be. Don't want to be always alone! Come and play!!!

Playing soccer, martial arts and long distance walking helped keep me occupied and happier for a while, but my left knee is intermittently bad so often I have to have sedentary time where thoughts and feelings can go "boo!". Thus methinks its time to deal with stuff. So late on Friday May 1 I looked at "lonely" - and found others...

One day I'd like to give a lot back to others, I do have plans for that... I always deeply felt since I was a wee brat that life is a beautiful mess and full of magic from above & beyond to keep us interconnected and progressing so please I cry "STRENGTH OF THE HARE!!!"
I often like to be alone, but I know lots of people who like me. Making close friends in my non-online days are largely elusive - again, that's just how it is! I'm not from England, though that is not always apparent and not really important.
Being fitter, stronger, faster and balder than you does make me happy, tho
Here to heal more, (would like to) help more, develop, be silly when appropriate in and say hi - I love the wise posts.
Hope you are OK with my mini Bio-novel, (if not, tell me!) hope you all send me a smoke-signal sometime and let's all cheese on!

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(Gotta submit ONE quote...)
"I pity the poor fool!"