Rainy

I don't know if it's normal to feel completely aware that you don't fit in but I think that it can definitely happen. I can't even remember a moment in my life where I completely fit in with anyone or at least had a genuine connection with someone. I grew up in a medium-sized city in Ohio, always dreaming that I would get out and travel to a imaginary place where I'd find people just like them. When I finally grew up a bit, I realized that if people act the same here, they aren't going to act any different anywhere. I am bit cynical and I just feel like giving up on people. I don't really know how to say mean things to people. I feel that you have to destroy someone's character or appearance to fit in. I simply can't do it. It's not in my blood.

I'm lucky to have a son born out of a relationship that was fruitful and beneficial. I feel lucky to have met my son's father, even though, we aren't together. He is still my best friend and I can talk to him about everything. I feel like we are still close because we have a lot of things in common.

I pretty much like everything but I am drawn to science fiction. That is only because the stories are always set in the future and everyone has mostly evolved out of whatever nonsense that we have in our time. I like to write stories set in the future or in world that is completely opposite from our own. I think of it as an escape. I am drawn to foreign films and music as well. That is just because it is different from my own surroundings and culture.

I can't really go into a lot more because I don't do much else. I exercise 3 to 4 times a day, I try to eat the right foods, I work a lot and take care of my son. I can't even find much that makes me truly happen these days.