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I have before. i sometimes feel awestruck that I even exist. This world is too intentional, every creature whethere ugly or beautiful has some purpose, but humans? Our purpose? I don't know. our world is confusing and breathtaking as well if we stop to consider what is actually going on. I mean...

I want control of my life, even though I feel I don't have control. I still try to maintain it. In what way does your mom say you have ocd? But yeah, I have a fear that if I don't do something, I will be lonely for the rest of my life. I also used to believe that I would find the right girl or...