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I feel like even though I am trying to fill my boring and lonely real life with my musical life, Im still empty like Im missing something.

I feel like all my friends have begun drifting away from me... I feel like they do everything without me now..

You are right, I am looking for a way out of longing for others, but I feel it is necessary.

My main problem has been severe social anxiety that I've had since I was young. It's so bad sometimes that I don't even trust talking to very close people to me without rigorously questioning myself on whether I'm  even worthy enough to talk to them. I even questioned myself posting this...

Anyone have any advice on how not to be attracted romantically/sexually to people? I dont feel like I have the ability to make someone like me let alone love me.. so I dont want to have feelings for people who dont know me and probably dont want that from me.

It feels like theres no one I can talk to about my problems.

Just to start this off, I have never felt worse in my life. Everyday I feel more and more like I can't control my emotions and feel like my anger, sadness and negativity is overrunning me. I spend all of my time that I'm not at school in bed and sometimes don't even get up to eat. I get easily...

My negativity is destroying me. I'm losing grip on my social life, I'm losing interest in hobbies like music, I can hardly bottle things up anymore. I am always angry inside. Its so irritating. Im envious of everyone around me with a normal social life. Every guy that has a girlfriend makes me...

Jeks

38

I hate my birthday too. Everybody gets together sings a stupid song around a cake(which i loathe), gives me presents and then i just try and disappear.

I feel the same but just dont share your optimism on it. It just doesnt happen for me. Everyone I ever want to be with gets snatched up before I can say a word to them.

I feel EXACTLY the same. Ive had one gf which i was lucky to have in the first place and never had one again. Ill probably never get one. Its really getting on my nerves and is driving me insane. Sometimes it makes me feel like I just wanna punch a hole in the wall or something.

I can relate. I don't feel anything either. I know I'm supposed to but I don't feel much of anything I just stop trying to feel it and stay depressed.

I feel the same but I wouldnt call the suicide hotline because if I did I would just go on a rant denying everything they say and reasoning why nothing can go right for me with them until they hit a dead end and all of the questions have ran out. So it would be absolutely pointless in the end.

Every time I look at my self my confidence lowers. To the point that I can't show friends pictures of myself via message or post profile pictures of my face. I'm too ugly.

Thank you for the input TheRealCallie, so I will answer your question of what i dislike about myself. I hate my face it looks ravaged and torn, I hate all my emotions because feeling anything is akward, I do have a hobby, its guitar, but I have been playing for 3 or 4 years now and still feel...

Yeah, I do this, especially when I have on a tight fitting shirt which makes it 1000x more discomforting.

So, I have found that the best way of not feeling depressed because of low self-esteem is to forget who I am; anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

Well, I read most of the rant.