Discrimination against guys with long hair

This is probably why most guys don't grow their hair out.

There is a strong discrimination against guys with long hair. It's gay. They think they're girls. It's unprofessional. They are probably drug addicts. They're dangerous people. Etc.

I face this all the time from really conservative people. I went to Home Depot tonight, to pick up some tools to do some work, and I had a question to ask the guy working in that department. Not only did he not answer my question, and send me somewhere else (someone else was a lot more helpful) entirely, but the way he looked at me was like I had three heads or something.

I struggled to figure out why he felt this way, and then I figured it out. This was a guy in his 70's, who had short neat hair and looked like the typical guy working at Home Depot. To come across someone with long hair down to his shoulders probably made him uncomfortable. The braces didn't help, too, probably.

I ******* hate this. My adviser suggested that I get my hair cut, because I have to be a "professional." Apparently this means giving up all sense of individuality. You become part of the corporate machine, and lose complete sense of who you are, you are just a robot.

Maybe I should have picked a different major, but I like computers. Shame that to be an IT geek, you can't be a rock star.

You shouldn't care so much what other people think of you in terms of your looks and style. There are so many people out there who do not dress up to what society deems as "right" or proper. Take it as your own trend and your own style and identity. If they wanna dress neat and nice with short hair, then that's their problem. If they give you the look? Oh well. They'll just have to live with it.

Well, this guy clearly had a problem with me. He ignored me, until I basically was shouting at him "Excuse me, sir?", and then he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about.

All I needed was a type of wrench. He could have said "Aisle...whatever", but he didn't do that. He said to go check in a section that didn't exist...and then when I asked someone else, I looked like an idiot who was in the wrong store.

He may have just been an *******, but I think he really did have a problem with me, for some reason.

And that doesn't matter, because I'll have to cut my hair anyway. It's unprofessional for guys to have long hair in the workplace. Makes me wonder what they say about women with really short hair...it's sexist.

Sorry to hear you felt discriminated against while you were at the store. I guess the best thing to do is ignore the people that act like that because we are always going to run into people who won't like us for whatever reason even though they don't know us.

You should know what most of society is like these days, it's not just long hair. If you're different in any way they discriminate. If you're too tall, short, fat, thin, gay, smart, stupid, rich, poor, etc...

I'm amazed that you were able to find two workers in a Home Depot to begin with. It's possible the guy didn't understand what you wanted (or not known where to find it) - I had this problem when I was looking for a valve at my Home Depot - the old guy in plumbing argued with me about the type of valve I needed (obviously he had never seen my piping, but I let it go). On the flip side, if it was about your hair, then **** him.

Turn up in a long wig for a laugh.

9006 said:

You should know what most of society is like these days, it's not just long hair. If you're different in any way they discriminate. If you're too tall, short, fat, thin, gay, smart, stupid, rich, poor, etc...

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Agree with this 100% and also dislike it.

The good news is that other people who embrace their own individuality (be it long haired men, short haired women, tattooed people, pierced people, people who dress in unconventional clothing etc) draw interest from like-minded people. Who like a boring old straighty who feels the need to be exactly like everyone else? Give me someone interesting and proud to be unique any day.

I like long haired men.

Well it also depends how you carry your long hair! As in how how it's set and everything.I mean even if you got short hair and it's messy,I may ask you to get a hair cut.I don't know,it's rather weird but I wouldn't quiet unless I have another job waiting!

Everyone has prejudices sadly.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you are equally as guilty. We all are.

In the same way you have perceived that you were judged for your long hair, you have made an assumption of the character of that man based on his age, appearance and job role. You have jumped to a conclusion about his motives based solely on his appearance. He was 70ish, he could be short of hearing, generally confused or any other reason to seemingly ignore you. It appears he did not mention your hair, so you do not know that is the reason for any attitude towards you. He could've just been a miserable old git who is like that with everyone.

We all judge. It isn't right, but its a fact of life sadly. I'm a good person, an honest person and try and live a good Christian life. But I have piercings and tattoos and an "alternative" taste in clothes and it's a damn given that should I go into a high end store I will be followed by security as if I'm gonna steal something. As a woman working in IT I also often get attitude or patronised by male customers. One even recently told me "good girl" when I'd finished a job for him. I don't like it, but instead of calling them out on it, I just let them do it. I feel its my duty to show them how wrong they are by showing them who I actually am. To challenge their attitudes by showing my own to be better, rather than by making an argument or taking it personally.

Also, working in IT, long hair on a guy really isn't an issue when working in the field or in a particular role in a department. However, if you want to move up the corporate ladder though, then it is. Corporate environments have no place for individuality, you become a cog in a machine. Then, it isn't about the hair particularly, its about corporate culture in general being about fitting into a clique of suited and booted, perfectly groomed clean shaved and "approved" hairdo's. Going to the "right" restaurants, having the "right" hobbies and shopping at the "right" supermarkets. At the top its the sole stomping ground of Alpha males and power *******. God knows why anyone wants to get into that game, but appearance is part of the charade for it.


So I wouldn't take it personally that you have been told to cut your hair for "professionalism". But realise that its not just your hair you'll sacrifice if you want a career in any industry where the workers are largely homogenised.

It's just the outcome of many years of humans screwing up society.

Sometimes I really hate the world.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I face this all the time from really conservative people.

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LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

This is probably why most guys don't grow their hair out.

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LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I struggled to figure out why he felt this way, and then I figured it out. This was a guy in his 70's, who had short neat hair and looked like the typical guy working at Home Depot. To come across someone with long hair down to his shoulders probably made him uncomfortable. The braces didn't help, too, probably.

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Muse, I can see part of your frustration, but some of these comments seem to 'jump the gun', to me.

I will wholeheartedly agree that this dude is clearly guilty of ****** customer service. In my experience, the HD folks usually walk you directly to the area where your item lives and you should have been afforded the same courtesy.

However, unless you know this man on a personal level, there seems to be an awful lot of assumption regarding his motives and inner thoughts within your tirade. Were you blown off as a customer? Absolutely. Were you discriminated against because of braces and long hair? Maybe - or maybe not.

Either way, I'm sorry you had such a jacked up experience with it. Personally, if this had happened to me, I would approach this from an another angle and focus on the person that was helpful by writing a nice email to HD Corporate to commend him/her.

Just remember, you cannot control what that fella does or does not think of you, your long hair or braces. All you can do is worry about how Muse conducts himself and the rest will take care of itself.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

Apparently this means giving up all sense of individuality. You become part of the corporate machine, and lose complete sense of who you are, you are just a robot.

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^No. I have always found someone's "individuality" to be that je ne sais quoi in their personality that sets them apart from everyone else - not the length of their hair. Lots of people in the world have long hair, but I venture to guess there is something else about each of them that makes them different. I have been a part of the "corporate machine" for a long time and I am not a robot (to my knowledge) nor have I lost my sense of self. I think it depends on your attitude toward it.

I don't see anything wrong with guys having long hair...One of my guy friends does, and he looks just fine, not to mention unique. Plus, there are ways you can look professional without having to cut it, like wearing it in a neat ponytail and washing and brushing it on a regular basis so it doesn't look greasy or unkempt. I've seen plenty of guys do this, and they look just as professional as anyone with short hair. No need to look exactly like everyone else.

I can reply to this post also as a guy with long hair.
And for a long time.
I've had long hair ever since high school, and its been about 15 years now. I will not cut it either, not ever, not unless I start going bald, then maybe, but that won't happen anytime soon because I don't have those genes.

Why do I have long hair? I think it suits my interests and also signifies that I am very into music, which I have high value for. Maybe its also just to make a point. I also just like the look of it better. I think it actually makes a guy look like a stronger person, I guess for having the balls to be an individual and non-conformist. And I also think that a lot of short-haired guys (not all of them though) are the ones that look more gay like to me, because they look too neat and wimpy.

Sometimes I also think that people discriminate against me, but I'm never totally sure that it is simply just the long hair, because they never make it clear.
I also think that most women don't like me simply because I have long hair; that is, most women don't like guys with long hair. But I'm not going to change myself or conform to something I don't want, just to get acceptance. Because in my opinion that is not true acceptance.
There are a few women however who I come across that do like my long hair, tell me not to change or cut it.

In todays day I do think there is more of a general acceptance of different people and more open-minded people, more than what there used to be, for a wide range of things. So maybe that is why you felt particularly discriminated against by someone looking around 70.

As far as job wise goes, I've personally never had anyone tell me I need to cut my hair, and I don't recall anyone ever mentioning it to me. But I always have it tied back in public though.
And if I was ever in charge of hiring, personally I wouldn't want to hire someone who will just conform, because to me that indicates weakness of character.

theraab said:

I'm amazed that you were able to find two workers in a Home Depot to begin with. It's possible the guy didn't understand what you wanted (or not known where to find it) - I had this problem when I was looking for a valve at my Home Depot - the old guy in plumbing argued with me about the type of valve I needed (obviously he had never seen my piping, but I let it go). On the flip side, if it was about your hair, then **** him.

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Heh, that's what I first thought. Whenever I go to Home Depot or Lowe's, I barely see three people at all, much less talk to any of them. I don't think it had anything to do with your hair though. Disgruntled worker, probably, and if it really bothered you, you could have reported his behavior to the big boss. I don't think it's unprofessional for guys to have long hair. I'm sure your hair doesn't affect your ability to work, and to work functionally and efficiently. The dude was probably just having a bad day, or just have a bad attitude in general.

MissGuided said:

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I face this all the time from really conservative people.

Click to expand...

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

This is probably why most guys don't grow their hair out.

Click to expand...

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I struggled to figure out why he felt this way, and then I figured it out. This was a guy in his 70's, who had short neat hair and looked like the typical guy working at Home Depot. To come across someone with long hair down to his shoulders probably made him uncomfortable. The braces didn't help, too, probably.

Click to expand...

Muse, I can see part of your frustration, but some of these comments seem to 'jump the gun', to me.

I will wholeheartedly agree that this dude is clearly guilty of ****** customer service. In my experience, the HD folks usually walk you directly to the area where your item lives and you should have been afforded the same courtesy.

However, unless you know this man on a personal level, there seems to be an awful lot of assumption regarding his motives and inner thoughts within your tirade. Were you blown off as a customer? Absolutely. Were you discriminated against because of braces and long hair? Maybe - or maybe not.

Either way, I'm sorry you had such a jacked up experience with it. Personally, if this had happened to me, I would approach this from an another angle and focus on the person that was helpful by writing a nice email to HD Corporate to commend him/her.

Just remember, you cannot control what that fella does or does not think of you, your long hair or braces. All you can do is worry about how Muse conducts himself and the rest will take care of itself.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

Apparently this means giving up all sense of individuality. You become part of the corporate machine, and lose complete sense of who you are, you are just a robot.

Click to expand...

^No. I have always found someone's "individuality" to be that je ne sais quoi in their personality that sets them apart from everyone else - not the length of their hair. Lots of people in the world have long hair, but I venture to guess there is something else about each of them that makes them different. I have been a part of the "corporate machine" for a long time and I am not a robot (to my knowledge) nor have I lost my sense of self. I think it depends on your attitude toward it.

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^^ THIS - exactly my thoughts.

Oh my God, braces?! I feel your pain on that... literally. Don't them ***** hurt? Oh my gosh, I ended up taking the majority of mine off, and my mom finally took me to get those brackets and cement off. All that pain for NOTHING. My teeth went right back to the way were - which weren't bad to begin with. My mom just wanted perfectly straight teeth. I have one crooked tooth, which my aunt has, and oddly enough my little cousin - her daughter - has the same crooked tooth. But she has braces now too, and oh my gosh, I bet she withstood the pain better than I did.

Well, to add relevance to this post... No one ever didn't talk to me because I had braces. It's not an uncommon thing to have braces or for guys to have longer hair.

Braces are awful, Vanilla. I can't wait till I get them off.

Also, working in IT, long hair on a guy really isn't an issue when working in the field or in a particular role in a department. However, if you want to move up the corporate ladder though, then it is. Corporate environments have no place for individuality, you become a cog in a machine. Then, it isn't about the hair particularly, its about corporate culture in general being about fitting into a clique of suited and booted, perfectly groomed clean shaved and "approved" hairdo's. Going to the "right" restaurants, having the "right" hobbies and shopping at the "right" supermarkets. At the top its the sole stomping ground of Alpha males and power *******. God knows why anyone wants to get into that game, but appearance is part of the charade for it.

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I am relieved that I won't have to cut my hair to get a job. Long hair is really what I am, and I only have a limited amount of time, as a guy, to enjoy having it...so I really shouldn't have to cut it.

I have no plans to "move up the corporate ladder." I'd like to work from home, but as far as owning my own IT consulting firm, that is not something that appeals to me. I'd rather just be able to live in luxury, afford my own home and food and clothes, and be able to throw some money at my REAL passion, which is music.

I'm also not really judging him, but some guys that have that look act the same. I could have probably also predicted that he was a Republican. Of course, he could be a liberal, but we all stereotype, and that's what I was going with - conservative Republican, probably Christian, who has a problem with guys who are outside of the box. He was also probably part of the hippie generation, but forgets what it's like to be young...a lot of people from that generation do.

And as far as having the right hobbies, I suspect my work writing horror/science fiction and creating folky rock albums probably wouldn't sit well with the corporate machine.

I love a guy with long hair I think it's very masculine.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I could have probably also predicted that he was a Republican. Of course, he could be a liberal, but we all stereotype, and that's what I was going with - conservative Republican, probably Christian, who has a problem with guys who are outside of the box.

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Dear Soothsayer,

I have been romantically involved with some sexy fellas with hair down their backs who played in rock bands and had names like 'ToeCutter', 'Bullet' and 'Roach'.

Signed,
A proud Republican, Christian girl

*chokes laughing*