I can't even imagine a girl finding me attractive sexuall

Mr. Sir · Sep 23, 2009

I've just been hit by the thunderbolt. I can't get this girl I met out of my head. She's beautiful and conservative.

But I cant even imagine a girl liking me.

And I got the vibe this girl was with another dude because he waited for her after class and she touched him playfully.

darkwall · Sep 23, 2009

OK, champ, I'm not going to ******** you: chances are not good.

I'm going to assume she is actually beautiful, and that you are like me, i.e. average with low confidence. I am also going to take another leap and assume that because she is beautiful she belongs to a different social strata. Finally, I am going to guess that you haven't really gotten to know her on a personal basis, and that therefore your attraction is mainly physical.

This doesn't make for a good scenario. Yes, because she is beautiful she will probably have a love interest. Also, since your affection for her seems to be looks-based, she is unlikely to reciprocate - would you stand out in a crowd as she does? Your friends are the worst people for this scenario - they are likely to go, "go get her, man," regardless of the consequences.

I'm also going to play the odds here and guess that you haven't been in a significant relationship yet (apologies if this is untrue). People (like me) who haven't been in relationships suffer from idealised standards of attraction and thus are prone to liking someone out of their league.

I'm not saying don't chase her. You can chat to her, then after a few times (not more, otherwise you start to slip into friendship zone) casually ask her out. It's not a big deal that way, and either way she'll be as awkward as you. But attraction is based on confidence, shared interest and your bodies - on that basis, out of a hundred guys like you and I asking out a girl like her the majority are doomed to failure.

IMO it's much nicer to fall for a girl after talking to her and getting to know her well. Love from afar is usually doomed to failure unless you're the sort who tends to get loved from afar too. Michael Caine fell in love with and married a girl he saw on the TV: Michael Caine was used to women falling for him the same way. With us, I'm afraid, the odds would be astronomical.

PoisonFlowers · Sep 24, 2009

Little_buddha has good advice. I can't really say anything as useful as that really.

This is a confidence issue, so it's tough. I can't say "believe in yourself" because that's silly. Nothing is ever that easy.

No-one expects you to be perfect. Or at least they shouldn't. The key is finding someone who likes you for you. What's the use when you're pretending to be something you're not to please others? Relationships would become pointless.

I don't know where I'm going here. I'm tired and I give bad advice.

Mr. Sir · Sep 24, 2009

little_buddha said:
OK, champ, I'm not going to ******** you: chances are not good.

I'm going to assume she is actually beautiful, and that you are like me, i.e. average with low confidence. I am also going to take another leap and assume that because she is beautiful she belongs to a different social strata. Finally, I am going to guess that you haven't really gotten to know her on a personal basis, and that therefore your attraction is mainly physical.

This doesn't make for a good scenario. Yes, because she is beautiful she will probably have a love interest. Also, since your affection for her seems to be looks-based, she is unlikely to reciprocate - would you stand out in a crowd as she does? Your friends are the worst people for this scenario - they are likely to go, "go get her, man," regardless of the consequences.

I'm also going to play the odds here and guess that you haven't been in a significant relationship yet (apologies if this is untrue). People (like me) who haven't been in relationships suffer from idealised standards of attraction and thus are prone to liking someone out of their league.

I'm not saying don't chase her. You can chat to her, then after a few times (not more, otherwise you start to slip into friendship zone) casually ask her out. It's not a big deal that way, and either way she'll be as awkward as you. But attraction is based on confidence, shared interest and your bodies - on that basis, out of a hundred guys like you and I asking out a girl like her the majority are doomed to failure.

IMO it's much nicer to fall for a girl after talking to her and getting to know her well. Love from afar is usually doomed to failure unless you're the sort who tends to get loved from afar too. Michael Caine fell in love with and married a girl he saw on the TV: Michael Caine was used to women falling for him the same way. With us, I'm afraid, the odds would be astronomical.

She's a hajib-wearing Muslim. I like girls like that because they're not American barbie doll sluts.

Yea. I dunno. I cant wait for CBT.

I feel so ****** because I'm 20 and havent had a girlfriend. That's gonna red-flag every single girl.

Lonesome Crow · Sep 24, 2009

If i can get laid , anyone can get laid.
Flag down all the single babes and get laid.

It's not like TV man....
It's not like boy meet girl...boy and girl love each other forever and live happily ever after.

There's something that dosn't make good logic in what you just wrote.

You think women are slutty and you think you're too good for them.
Yet at the sametime, you complain that you can't get laid and don't have a girl friend....

darkwall · Sep 24, 2009

For once I completely agree with LC ... you think of American women like that, you deserve what you get. And lolololol good luck chasing conservative Muslim girls - while you're at it, we should go out on the town together sometime and try and pick up a couple of Mormons.