Alone and useless

[Mr.Meaningless]

I'm in my late 20's unemployed, living at home, no education, never had a g/f, no friends, this is my life. I feel like i'm giving up on life, well let me rephrase that, i HAVE given up on life so it seems from reading my above description about myself. Yes, i know I am a pathetic loser and should die, and for all you trolls out there that are reading this and feel the need to state the obvious to me and reply its not necessary I know. I lack the motivation and drive to do anything for an extended period of time, I am a social pariah, all I do is watch movies, listen to music, and surf the internet all day long. Sounds good you say? Try doing that for a decade and tell me if you feel the same way, I'm suprised I haven't done seppuku on myself yet. I did have friends once but as the years passed we lost touch and I'm pretty sure a big part of it was that they were probably sick and tired of seeing me in the state that i was and still am in. Its only lately I've began to reflect on my life and just came to the realization," WHOA my life sucks ass WTF happened to my life?", what happened to all those dreams and goals I once had as a teeanger, oh yeah thats right i didn't have any to begin with that was the problem, well I shouldn't say I didn't have any, I just didn't have any realistic goals or dreams it was all delusions of grandeur induced by a 'Green' state of mind if you know what i mean. I know for a fact that I have missed and am missing out on alot of good things that life had and has to offer but maybe it was not meant to be in my case. I think i'm writing too much now so I'll stop, but if anyone out there reading this can relate to what i'm saying I would like to hear from you, but I pray to whatever god that you might believe in that theres not many, cuz this is no way to live, I can attest to that.

Actually I have one more thing to add, about my love life, I think this story pretty much sums it all up. I was in high school and it was on some kind of ski trip. I saw a pretty girl wipeout on the slopes, a girl i've known for years, we weren't friends or anything but we went to elementary together and she was in some of my classes and we've talked before, so there she was laying there ass deep in the snow, with no one around us, so I thought I'll go over and help her up it seemed like the right thing to do, so i leaned over and gave her my hand to lift her back up, she looks at my hand and then at me and gave me a look like i was the freakin boogeyman and shook her head violently in a hell no fashion, during that awkward moment another skier came by and did the same thing I did and she took his hand and got up. Funny, i never thought nothing of it at the time until now, but the fact i remember that moment explains alot. Maybe I am freakishly unattractive and girls would rather lay there in the freezing cold, ass deep in snow on a huge ass mountain with no one around to help them than acknowledge me. But that's about par for the course in my so called life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Peace.

 

[Rosalyn]

Hi, Mr.

I can kinda understand since I haven't been able to get a job for a few years myself, I've got an education, but I wouldn't say that even makes much of a difference since most places want experience anyways. I didn't read anything that made me think you were pathetic. Just becuase you don't work, that doesn't make you a loser..people do look down on you for it, but they're the pathetic ones in my view. At best MOST of them got luckier than you and I, they probably don't even enjoy their jobs/ have pretty depressing days themselves.
I'm sure that in your late 20's you're probably feeling like is it too late, or getting too late for you, but you could live for another thirty years yet and I happen to know a lady who didn't get her first job until her thirties! She didn't have much of a love life herself, but is happily married now. You probably don't wanna hear that "blah blah blah its never too late" crap, but it is actually true.

As for this girl; its hard not to take something like that in a negative light, but you have to think of all the angles. Maybe she was just in too much pain/ kinda stunned when you first came over? Maybe she heard some stupid rumour about you? I dunno. Just throwing it out there.

Have you considered volunteering at all? Depending on where you live, you can actually do some fun volunteering, it'll get you out of the house and you can meet new people. Not only that, but give you working skills. Just a thought. And also I know its hardly some big life-fixing thing, I'm thinking of the short-term here, but did you try moving things around in your room/ re-decorating recently? A change of scene once in a while always seems nice.

Just don't give up, okay?

 

[jjam]

I totally relate. I'll be 30 this year and I'm in the mist of trying to improve my quality of living. The current downers are these:
-no degree
-no love life
-very few friends (and they are not in one place, but scattered around the country)
-low income level
-school debt
-looks and health are fine but are fading as they do for all of us

I'll tell you like someone told me recently.
IT STARTS NOW!
Forget all the past failures. Foget how you've sat on your ass for the past decade. What are you going to do today? That's what you need to focus on.

-passions
Return to old hobbies that you once loved and establish new hobbies (just think of things you've smiled at the idea of doing and go for it!).
BIG BIG BIG BIG step towards change for me. That is like the theme of 2011 for me!

-employment
I don't know what your situation is like for money but if I didn't work, I'd be on the streets. I have been sole financial support for my mother for going on the past half decade (all housing expenses and then some), and was even taking out loans to send her money while I was in college in my sophomore days. I am no longer happy or even okay with my job, that's why I am trying to land a new one before the year ends.

-education
It's not needed but something tells me it would help to get a decent degree. For me, the first step is to gain full access to my transcript such that holds are no longer possible by my former university. That's a HUGE step because then I'll feel I could just walk in and continue my eduction as soon as I'd like. This step calls for a sacrifice I should have made years ago. I've already decided that all of my tax refund is not going into savings, but towards this.

-love/relationships
I have very few friends. Most of them are scattered around the country, so we're not in touch much. I'm not sure if calling them friends at this point even works. Love probably won't happen until my spirit is truly lifted. It's as if I communicate sadness to people without even speaking. Most people don't have the patience or courage to deal with that, as it can be contagious if one gets too "close". I need to change, period. Those things above will set me up with love. According to my calculations, it's right around the corner.

 

[A new life]

Ya got me with the ski story.

I've often noticed that when I give a compliment to a woman, they just give me "the look" and blow it off.
But if Prince Charming gives the same compliment in the same way women gush and smile.

Try not to replay that ski story in your head anymore, what possible good can come of it?

 

[edgecrusher]

i know how you feel. i am almost 30 and have spent most of the last decade doing nothing but playing video games and watching movies and tv shows. which to be completely honest is all i really like to do anyway. i am not very social as well. i honestly dont really care about not having that many friends. people are crazy and have too much drama that they complain about but most of the time the bring it on themselves. i dont like being around that. i do feel you on the girl situation though. i am in the same boat as you with never having a girlfriend.

 

[so very lonely]

people are crazy and have too much drama that they complain about but most of the time the bring it on themselves.

very true

 

[Mr.Meaningless]

Thanks for replying ppl

 

[Mr.Meaningless]

I can't delete this thread for some reason, time limit expired.

If a MOD is reading this can you be so kind to close and delete this thread? Thanks.

 

[NoMoreHope]

This is my message to you bro,

Life is a massive ******* mystery for everyone, remember that... no one on this earth that doesent have a problem... but you say yours is different and way worse? well look at africa or any ****** up place... and plus people that are having an easier time are the people that actually DID something.. they just didnt give up... Life is about solving problems.. if your not, then you will miss out... its time to pick up the things you need to pick up... its never to late bro, it doesent matter if youre 40 or 16 or 60... if you really want to have happiness your gonna have to pursuit... no one here is going to do it for you... people are here to help, advice and suggest.. but its your life, make something out of it bro.. give your self a fighting chance.. so when the day comes, your not gonna say to yourself... i shouldve atleast tryed... nothing in life comes easy. everything has risks.. people that takes risks gets results... it doesent matter if you fail or not... because its a double reward... if you get what you want, thats awesome, if you dont learn from your mistakes... a great quote i once read, " you miss 100% of the shots you never take." nothing is worse than saying to yourself when the day comes your laying on your death bed and saying damn, i shouldve atleast tryed... bro never give up never give in... keep fighting were all in this together... even if doesent feel like it... feel free to talk too me.. i need a friend too bro...

 

[Depressedology]

@Mr.Meaningless
Why delete it?
what jjam said and others too was inspiring for me. because I relate yeah, and when I got down,, it was more than nice from someone like you to share,
keep for "us" .. and keep on keeping ooon !
all luck to you my friend