Alone, But I don't Have to Be

Cat · May 6, 2013

I'm 17 years old, a drop out (pleeease don't tell me I need to go back, I'm getting a GED okay?)
I DO have a bf, I just don't see him much. At 18 I will go live with him.
I used to have a lot of friends until age 12 where I barely had any. Now, I have none. I barely leave the house, ever. I don't remember the last time I went outside (maybe a month ago??)
I am depressed and my parents just watch TV all day and don't work, living off of my grandparent's inheritance.
So they do not lead by example. I am a very negative person. I am on the internet all day, and I talk to my bf all day. I have NOTHING to do. I am sad, I gained over 100 pounds in less than a YEAR so I am afraid to go out because of my weight and I keep failing my diet, all THE TIME! I am insecure whether it was when I was thin or now. I am very shy and fearful. I just want a friend because I am bored out of my mind right now.

Legato · May 6, 2013

Hi Cat,

Welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about you feeling like this. Don't worry as many people go through this. You're still very young, and at least you already have someone in your life, so that's a start. Have you got any hobbies or anything that interests you? Try to think of something you like the idea of first.

You shouldn't be afraid to go outside. Easier said than done, but the longer you stay indoors, the more it will eat at you. You need to step back and tell yourself you need to do something about this. Especially if the weight is making you more negative. Exercise always leads to better moods. I started doing around 30mins a day and the weight dropped off me. I'm still awkward about going outside as much, but it's a step in the right direction.

If you're ashamed at how your parents live, use this to spur you on. I've got a brother who's big headed, arrogant, and believes he's a better person than me because of a well payed job (that I managed to get for him). I tell myself i'm going to become better than what he is, and that keeps me going. You just need that one thing to keep you fighting.

The more negative you are, the longer it'll take to make friends. So as suggested, think of things you enjoy doing. You'll find people to connect with. Trust me

ladyforsaken · May 6, 2013

Wow.. I'm seeing a different side of Legato here. But yeah I gotta agree with him, pretty much said all that I was thinking.

If you don't start to make a change now, Cat, you won't get anywhere.. soon you'll find that you're sick and tired of being in that same spot and you just wanna get out of it.. by then it would be harder to remove the weight you've been putting on, and it would be harder to move out and live your life.

9006 · May 6, 2013

I think you need some sort of structure in your day, some activity at least. Just because you've gained weight doesn't mean you can't go out, and if you think like this then it'll cause a knock on effect where you might end up gaining more weight.

I'm pretty sure there's something in the outside world you could take an interest in, maybe look for a job, even if it's part time, or something.

VanillaCreme · May 6, 2013

Good luck with that GED. I've seen a GED book, and I can tell you right now, I'd rather go through 4 years of high school ten more times before I ever go through all that.