Always

[Kenny]

I've always been alone and I always will be.

It just sucks. I feel as though I am destined to kill myself. Not today and not tomorrow but eventually even if it's slow somehow.

Does anybody else ever feel this way?

 

[Depressedology]

my answer is, always.
i just turn my sight away to something I "have to" do, and find later that some time has passed, but the thoughts are still. they're just always there.
year after year, I still look if I "have to" do something that means to me that time is moving, and I don't have to experience that one eternity minute that freezes my mind like it was lasting years.
then just with days, you'll start feeling colder, and give "less sh!t" about what it really means, start to give "sh!t" of what 'purpose' is, and why you should live it

so my advice to you is, to just keep finding that 'something that you have to do' to fit or whatever keeps you living.
find friends or family because they do pull you out those moments, and could make you stronger many times.

 

[jales]

yes, i can relate to the destined to kill myself.. i dont have the guts right now..nor did i ever.. but i think one day.. that is how it will end.
i dont feel like that always though... only when i'm depressed.

i dont have any real advice... except.. dont do it. at least not until you have lived a full life... sometimes when you give life time it surprises you with some really good things

 

[blackwave]

Yes, everyday. I'm convinced I'll end up a suicide, whether it be in 1 year or 30 years.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I do what Depressedology does, find something I have to/want to do and it makes it go away for awhile, and gives a purpose.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Sometimes I feel this way, but I try to fight it.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Yes, I have.

How to solve it though? It's so complicated... I mean, you have to ask yourself, what do I want out of live? Is it something I can attain on my own or do I really need other people for it? Or maybe, maybe I just can't achieve it, and because I don't want to give up on it, I choose to blame my failure on the fact that there's noone else around me to support me? Am I really feeling alone or am I just angry at other people because they don't seem to understand me (or not even bother to understand me)?

I ask myself so many questions, yet I can never seem to find the answers. When can I really state that I've lived a full,complete life? When can I really feel 'ok, now I'm truly happy, now I'll never kill myself"... ?

It bothers me that I come up with more questions everyday, yet never find any conclusive answers.

 

[I'm Fine]

I can relate although with me, it's not so much that I'm destined to kill myself - more that I'm not allowed to, no matter how much I may want/need to. I don't think I'm allowed to get out of suffering that easily. But that's just me. Sorry.

 

[Dessa]

Yes, I feel this way everyday. Suicide is the last thing on my list but it's still on the list. =/

The way I deal with it, though, is think of the people who will get hurt because of it. I had a relative who killed himself because of grades from school. That's what they told me, I was very young. I don't think I can do that to my family. The shame and the hurt. Honestly, if it were just me, I'd have probably ended it. Heh, well let's just hope this loneliness doesn't get worse.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I've been thinking about this thread Kenny and something new has occurred to me to say. Don't attach importance to these thoughts. The more importance you attach to them the more likely they are to stick with you.

So, just say "I am not attaching importance to this thought." and move on.