Am i meant to be alone?

[capita]

Just want to share my story here...

I am in my early 20s and broke up with first my gf almost 6 months now, we've only been together for 2.5 yrs... but everything changed dramatically at my end. The reason of our break up was because she found someone else, but that's not important. The point is that when I was in a relationship with her, I chose her over everything and I meant everything, family, friends, work etc.

My feelings for her is gone, but its the loneliness that saddens me. All my friends around me are distanced, I am no longer in their social circle, not being invited to any of the events, plus I don't drink or go out, so I have no chance of meeting new friends... Living with my sister doesn't really help either, as we were never close, always hide herself in her room unless dinner.

I rarely have anyone to talk to... and I have no one to share my feelings... (cept you guys...) I feel like every choice that I made has been wrong... somehow I am pushing everyone further and further away. Am I one of those people who are meant to be alone, with no friends?...

 

[Phaedron]

TLDR: yes you were meant to be alone. You can also have relations, but if you haven't learned the lessons of solitude they will always turn out badly.

I spent 10k on my gf, we were together for a year, my entire 6-lovers year which in Tarot Numerology is the ideal time for finding your mate. Soon as the next year came she went home to "visit" and never came back, leaving me with nothing.

The only thing you can take with you are the lessons learned: that you shouldn't trust them, sacrifice for them, distance people for them, at least not unless they are making equal investments in you.

"Love is often fragile when you think it's strong, and strong when you think it's fragile" -Me

Understand that we are first and foremost alone. We are born alone, we die alone, and no matter how we communicate we can only share a small portion of our lives with someone else. The past alone is full of pictures and impressions that language cannot convey. Discord and misconceptions are natural and lies should be expected...

So when it comes to relationships and friends it's all about bullshitting and playing head games. I'm not saying you should lie, but never let your guard down, never get attached, and never compromise your personal security. If you idealize people they will let you down, if you assume them to be bad they can only pleasantly surprise you.

Accept Solitude and you will transcend attachment and suffering. Do not be eager for intimacy and do not offer trust where it is not due. Remember that your perceptions of others and their perceptions of you are inevitably full of lies. You cannot know or understand another person completely nor can they know you. At some point the imagination gets the wrong picture, the wrong idea, the wrong impression, and then theres the invisible world of thoughts and feelings to consider. So it is better to conclude you will never understand them, then believe what could be lies or false impressions. Only their actions convey truth.

It's okay to have relationships and friends, but you aren't allowed to "need" them or "depend" on them. If you do then you invite them to betray you. Sin is as much the fault of the tempter as it is the sinner. So always be mindful of things, knowing your place and knowing what others are up to. Hold them accountable according to their actions, do not entrust them with your heart, your feelings, etc. Don't give them any extra responsibility or you risk turning them into bad people.

Life is better imagined then lived, this way you rise above the mundane drama. Should you enter, be prepared, and know that every kind of association with another person will eventually come to an end. Even with the best intentions, death will take them or you eventually. So understand that Solitude is the truth of the universe.

People expect people to be selfish so people might as well be selfish. If people are not selfish then people feel threatened and alienated by a "holier then thou" attitude. In the end self is all you really have. I used to think being selfless was righteous. That if everyone were selfless and put others first we'd have a wonderful world. To be selfless is to martyr yourself a victim, and at best you merely have your cake without eating it too, because the selfless transcend the need for cake. In other words if we didn't care enough about things to fight over owning them, then they would be as worthless to us as dirt.

"Trust is only necessary as an action; as a belief it is pointless."

 

[Steel]

Just want to share my story here...

I am in my early 20s and broke up with first my gf almost 6 months now, we've only been together for 2.5 yrs... but everything changed dramatically at my end. The reason of our break up was because she found someone else, but that's not important. The point is that when I was in a relationship with her, I chose her over everything and I meant everything, family, friends, work etc.

My feelings for her is gone, but its the loneliness that saddens me. All my friends around me are distanced, I am no longer in their social circle, not being invited to any of the events, plus I don't drink or go out, so I have no chance of meeting new friends... Living with my sister doesn't really help either, as we were never close, always hide herself in her room unless dinner.

I rarely have anyone to talk to... and I have no one to share my feelings... (cept you guys...) I feel like every choice that I made has been wrong... somehow I am pushing everyone further and further away. Am I one of those people who are meant to be alone, with no friends?...

I think many people have made the mistake of losing friends due to a relationship, but that's in the past now - consider it a lesson learnt for the future.

Six months being single after a two and a half year relationship doesn't mean a thing - aside from anything else, it now means you will be ready to meet someone without it being on the rebound. Perhaps you should bite the bullet and try ringing one of your old friends who may be sympathetic and invite them out somewhere? Hell, even tell them what a mistake you made; there's nothing wrong with a bit of humility.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I hate those emotional roller coasters after a break up and those **** stages a person will go through.
Especailly if you got dump...it fucks with your head and your self esteem all up.
I love you...I hate you..I can't live without ya.
Then you'll go through...I'll never love anyone again...then you'll go through all men/women are the same.
Then you'll go through...god **** it, everywhere go there's couples kissing and smootching in front of you.
Then you'll go through...I ma trun fucken gay maybe try something different, but you're not gay so you might consider being a fucken prist or a monk. I need fucken salitude.
Then you'll go through...I ma break all the bitche's heart that comes across my path.
Then you'll go through...fresia that honeysuckle... hearing from friends with relationship problems. You broke up over less honeysuckle. You're happy as fresia being single.
Then you'll go through..fresia it, i ma focus on my life and do whatver the fresia i wanna do...
Then you'll go though....Errr wtf, I can't make up my god **** mind what fucken gril I wanna keep on banging.
Then you'll go through...babie...babie hit me one more time. You're the love of my life.

 

[mintymint]

I hate those emotional roller coasters after a break up and those **** stages a person will go through.
Especailly if you got dump...it fucks with your head and your self esteem all up.
I love you...I hate you..I can't live without ya.
Then you'll go through...I'll never love anyone again...then you'll go through all men/women are the same.
Then you'll go through...god **** it, everywhere go there's couple kissing and smootching in front of you.
Then you'll go through...I ma trun fucken gay maybe to try something different, but you're not gay so you might consider being a fucken prist or monk.
Then you'll go through...I ma break all the bitches heart that comes across my path.
Then you'll go through...fresia that honeysuckle... hearing from friends with relationship problems. You broke up over less honeysuckle. You're happy as fresia being single.
Then you'll go through..fresia it, i ma focus on my life and do whatver the fresia i wanna do...
Then you'll go though....Errr wtf, I can't make up my god **** mind what fucken gril I wanna keep on banging.

It's like the eightfold path to fresh poontang.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs capita*

no one is meant to be alone

I do not think you were wrong with any of the choices you made, changes are no matter what you chose, you would still be wondering if it's the right one.
Everyone goes this time at one point of their lives or another

It's hard but you really should try just getting out, or getting some extra ciricular activities, or a walk in the park

i hope things get better

*hugs*