Another confused newbie

Woody2shoes · Aug 19, 2009

I'm new here and just been noseing around. I seem to be much older than the usual posters here and thus don't know how relevent any of this is to me.

Still, I have been lonely all my life and try as I may, have never been able to find the love trust and intimacy that I think would allow me to experience life before it is over.

I know that I look at life through a negative lens and that turns off the kind of people I would like to be like. I seem to gravitate towards those who are more like me. Unfortunatly, many of these have real deep psychological and even mental issues. I know I have depression, but I am at least semi-functional.

But, once again, age is an issue and I cannot get close enough to anyone and I tend to become a caretaker to others. I need someone to be a caretaker for me a bit. I know that this is not healthy or realistic, but it eats at me. It causes internal anger, stress and self loathing.

Don't quite know what I expect here, but what the hell.

Lonesome Crow · Aug 19, 2009

Hi welcome to the forum.

Yes..it takes a while to break out of our habits, especailly if you had been playing
a role of a provider and caretaker all your life.

For me..I had to go back to the very basics of learning to love myself first.
Put the energy of taking care of myself first instead of others.
Kind of like loving my inner child...You must of heard of the concept of an inner child ?
Or happiness in an inside job.
I had to work through a lot of phantom guilts.

Don't worry about the young ones. I'm pretty sure you have a lot of experince and wisdom.

yeap, f-it anywho. You only live once. It's never too late.