are you scared you'll always be lonely?

[hopefully]

So currently the only person I speak to on a frequent basis is my mum, and I guess that's been the situation for about 1 1/2 years. I always thought of this as just a stage in my life, and that one day I'll have friends, a boyfriend and be happy.
But every now and again my mum makes comments about my behaviour. I guess I'm a bit difficult to live with, I like things 'just so'. I thought that was just my personality and that there would be plenty of people like me, but now my mum keeps saying I have OCD and that I'm a freak. Is that why I'm alone? I never thought people could tell that about me because I keep it very much under wraps, but what if I do make friends, get married and then my husband realises what I'm really like? I'm not a bad person, I just like to feel like I'm in control of my life.
Anyone else ever feel like this?

 

[edgecrusher]

i do feel like i will be alone my whole life

 

[Bluey]

Well I would say just cos you like things just so doesn't mean you have OCD.
Just means you know how you like things.

Sometimes when we spend so much time with one person they can see the things that bug them moor.
Maybe that's all that is happening here with your mum.
That certainly dose not make you a freak.
And as for any future partners or friends. Well they may like you like that. Different strokes for different folks an all that
I could never live with a messy person. it would drive me up the wall. I would much sooner live with someone like yourself.
At lest I then would know where everything was. That's how I like it you see And i would not say I have OCD at all. Am just real tidy.

And yes it dose scar me that I well live on my own until death. It is for me I know very much a reality that well happen. But most of the time I take each and every day at a time. Manly cos I have no choice but to do that. Plod on regardless we must....

 

[Carcass Raid]

It's always on my mind. Afraid to live and die alone but here I am living it. I hate it.

 

[lost sunshine]

dont worry ur not alone ,my mom is also single person in my life to whom i talk, my life is boring and lonly, this lonly ness is capture my entre life, thouh i meet lot of people , talk to them ,help them, but at day end i again alone,i accept it as my part of life

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It used to be one of my biggest fears. I had abandonment issues.
I was abandant as a child but I was shipped or moved from relatives to relatives.
As weird as it might sound. I seldomed lived alone.
As a matter of fact the longest length of time I lived alone...(my own place, single, without a roomate)
was only around 5 months. It was the scarest feeling at first but I overcame it.

Actually it was one of the healthest thing I could have done for myself.
I learned to live with myself. I learned to depend on my own happiness from myself.
I also learned that I wasn't that hard to live with and that I was okay. It was actaully peaceful,fun
after I overcame the roller coaters. In other words I adjusted and it didnt killed me.

At the sametime I belive fear can be a healthy thing to have.
Its just the way I process fears or my perceptions of it.
The more I try to understand how fears works in my life or how I react or don't react to fear,
the more I can use fears to work for me instead of against me.

Example...being afriad of being alone for the rest of my life is not such as bad thing.
It's just a way my mind or my intuition is telling me or motivating to me to do something about
my life....get a partner, learn to be more socialable, learn how to be in a healthy relationship.

It's all good

 

[Mysis]

I don't speak to anyone with any regularity. I'm in contact with my parents, but it's never really conversational, more just practical. We barely get along anyways. I don't really speak to my room mate, nor do I see him much. Not currently in any relationships, haven't been for awhile, and have no friendships to speak of. I mean there's my co-workers but I'd hardly consider them friends. Dropped out of school, and I've got my fair share of 'people can be honeysuckle' stories, but I haven't clung to them or anything.

Is it ideal? No. Is it horrible? No.

Basically I have honeysuckle to do. I keep myself busy. I learn new things. I could write an encyclopedia with the honeysuckle I've learned. Hell I'm sure I've memorized a couple encyclopedias. I have things that demand my attention. I have responsibilities. There's very little time to pointlessly worry about being lonely, and it's the least productive thing I could waste my time on.

Sure, if I see a cute girl who can maintain a conversation with me I'd probably take a chance with her, but until that happens, or until I devise a genius plan to feed this one girl's boyfriend to alligators, or perhaps some variety of large carnivorous elephant, wishing for it isn't going to make a bit of difference. If anything it'll just make me depressed and less charismatic.

So yeah, it's entirely possible that I'll always be alone, but that doesn't scare me, cause I'll live my life devoting time towards other things that matter to me, and I'll take happiness from that, taking proper care of myself, and being highly functional, well adjusted, and self-dependant. None of that requires a social life, but all of that improves my chances of having a healthy social life eventually.

 

[Broken_Doll]

I often just want to be left alone, but one of my biggest feas is that I will be all on my own.

 

[loketron]

i know i have heard the quote somewhere : "humans were not meant to be alone"

 

[coricopat]

i know i have heard the quote somewhere : "humans were not meant to be alone"

You're thinking of Genesis in the Bible, chapter 2 or 3. After God creates Adam he says something along the lines of 'It is not good for man to be alone'.

Hopefully--even if you do have OCD, that hardly means you'll have to live your life as a hermit. TONS of people have control issues. Next time your mom brings it up, remind her that most control issues are attributed to lousy parenting. Maybe she'll drop it then.

 

[eris]

Ive always been a loner, and i never thought it would ever happen for me, but after waiting, like, FOREVER, I met the man of my dreams. Problem not solved, though. Im still too scared to try to talk to people, and I still dont have any friends.

I think I'll always be lonely

 

[Twitchy]

Nope!

I look forward to completely shunning society, growing a three foot beard and living among my animal friends in the deep forest. Lately I've been teaching myself to mutter incomprehensible gibberish and make various references to the chip the CIA installed in my brain. I think it will help complete the overall effect.

Yes... I worry.

 

[Animus]

You're definitely not a bad person, Hopefully. I too had some OCD-kind-of symptoms but they all faded when "I gave myself some space". Being in control "from the inside" isn't too easy but by learning the simplicity of life can steer one from all the "complex clutter" pretty easily. Like formatting the HD and installing only things that are really needed to function, and afterwards personally developing them further. Hope you get along with your mum and yourself.. And in the end, you've got people here hearing and feeling ya.

What comes to myself, I am pretty much satisfied with a completely lonely life. I always have myself to talk to and ponder things, though even then I know that I'm not alone in this world. I like to watch people come and go, living their lives and doing things they love and hate, or pretend to love and hate. Surprisingly few people really know what they want so I don't really feel jealous for them. I want to get to know so many people, what they are deep inside... And maybe show them the great potential in them. That's a reason why being alone feels kind of bad. I know they are like me and I am like them, so why be alone when together is better? Anyways, if somehow I were condemned to live my life in complete isolation, I'd still go down with this sad smile, albeit with bitter tears instead of the sweet ones.

 

[Lawrens]

There's nothing wrong with having OCD, your mom is just being a bit unreasonable for calling you a freak, usually when people are being judgmental, the person him/herself might have a similar tendency of doing similar things, perhaps she's also a control freak herself and doesn't like anything that doesn't go her way, etc.

As for being alone, while I currently am, but I still have relatives and family I have contact with, I don't think I'm worrying about it that much. Find a hobby or something you like and stick with it and you could always find similar mindsets, if you like art, join an art club or community, if you like comic books, find people who does, even if it's just online. Personality problems and such could be corrected and it could work itself out, what people missing are opportunities to hang out with people with similar mindsets and interests.

 

[budsalinger]

scared? no
certain? yes
but I'm always wrong and I'm always miserable so what does it matter?

 

[carabelle]

Yes, I feel like that all the time. I'm lonely, but it's one of those things that's always been in the back of my mind, that kind of assumption that's drummed into from a young age, that one day you won't be lonely anymore, you'll have people, or at least someone, and it will all be easy again. But it's not that simple. I worry a lot that I'll always be lonely. Especially since loneliness is something I find I can't escape whether I'm with people or not. I don't always want to be this way. It scares me to death.

 

[rawr]

i often tell myself that i want to be alone its better that way... but deep down inside i fear that when I'm old I'll have nothing to show for my life but complete loneliness. i wont have grand-children or old friends or momories of the "good old times" because i isolate myself

 

[Sterling]

I hate how people will refer to others as "freaks" just because they're not bouncing off the walls wanting to socialize with the world. Some people just prefer to be alone, just like some people prefer to have a million friends. My sister calls me a freak and a weirdo and all kinds of stuff because I don't want to go hang out with people. So be it.
Anyways, am I scared that I will be forever lonely? No, I don't like most people that much anyways .

 

[Garenth]

I haven't had friends to hang out with for about 8 years now so I can definitely see how things could remain like this forever. I've stopped thinking about relationships altogether. It doesn't scare me as I'm pretty used to it by now but it can get pretty tough, especially when I get stuck thinking about all the stuff I could have had if I was... different.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

am i scared i will always be lonely? no.

am i scared i will always be lonely BECAUSE life is a giant sadistic game and we are all pawns in it to amuse a higher power, and by the time i realize this, the joke will have been on me, and there is nothing i could do about it, not even throw out a "fresia you" before i'm dust? yes.

but i'm not normal.