People have always told me that I shouldn't have a low self-esteem, and even if I do I should act more confident becuase that's what people like. I don't really understand why I have been told this, becuase no matter how confident I make myself appear I still feel totally disguested in myself and act shy. I don't like being around big groups of people or being seen by people I find attractive. My appearence has basicly turned my social switch off forever. No matter how hard I try to accept, or change my appearence nothing works. I honestly believe I'm going to die alone, or give up before I give myself the chance. My weight has bothered me my entire life and now I actually notice how much it will effect my future, and my acne that has been a problem for the past four years of my life, shows no progress what so ever. Those are the main two things that I hate about myself the most. On top of everything, I've failed twice in school now and I hate seeing everyone my age move on and start going to college while I sit in highschool for another year. And just to add another thing that's giving me problems in my sexuality. I was "in the closet" for all of middle school, and my freshmen year of highschool I decided to come out, and now recently I have been feeling like I'm actually bi-sexual. So I'm always being questioned about my sexuality. It's very annoying. I wish love was just love... I feel alone now more than ever. I cannot get motivated enough to get myself to more forward. I am going to die alone and unhappy.
- I really didn't expect to expand that as much as I did, I guess I went a bit futher than I should have.
- I really didn't expect to expand that as much as I did, I guess I went a bit futher than I should have.
