Butler Wanted

[Bob Arctor]

Needed: one butler of suitable butlerability to butle me and my traveling companion (the lovely Miss Drama) whilst on our New Zealandian escapade. We will be staying in a quaint cottage located precisely near a source of fresh water in a temperate climate without a lot of people around.

Your duties will include, but may not be limited to, preparing our meals (as well as placing bite sized portions of said meals into Miss Drama's mouth via utensil), wearing a tuxedo, dusting things, tending the garden, gathering fresh ingredients, story telling, discouraging tresspassers and talking like a butler.

Salary: all the kiwis you can eat (the fruits and the birds).

Perks: putting this job on your resume, you ungrateful rascal you.

Please submit your applications to the trash bin at the corner of 1st and Wabash of whatever place you happen to currently be a resident of...or just let us know in the thread. Yeah, use the thread.

 

[Drama]

We look forward to meeting you, O future butler!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you allow for women butlers?

 

[Bob Arctor]

Do you allow for women butlers?

Absolutely.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you allow for women butlers?

Absolutely.

Good good (hmm)

And what if one does not like kiwi (the fruit or the bird)?

 

[Bob Arctor]

Do you allow for women butlers?

Absolutely.

Good good (hmm)

And what if one does not like kiwi (the fruit or the bird)?

Not like kiwifruit? Do you realize they have more vitamin C than an orange?! I mean what kind of preposterous...

Ok calm down Bob, deep breaths...

I was afraid it might come to this. I'll have to parley with my companion so that we may determine what additional salary we can offer, after travel expenses and whatnot. We buy a LOT of exotic items.

 

[Drama]

*calculates* hmmm

What about apples and broccoli?

 

[Bob Arctor]

*calculates* hmmm

What about apples and broccoli?

Yes I believe we could manage that. Ok so new salary: all the kiwi, apples and broccoli you can eat.

 

[Nicolelt]

Yes I believe we could manage that. Ok so new salary: all the kiwi, apples and broccoli you can eat.

Those are my three favorite healthy foods!!! hmmmm....may need to apply...

 

[Bob Arctor]

Yes I believe we could manage that. Ok so new salary: all the kiwi, apples and broccoli you can eat.

Those are my three favorite healthy foods!!! hmmmm....may need to apply...

Nice! Now that there's some competition I'm sure we can find the crème de la crème of butlers. It could be you!

 

[Edward W]

A'hem Sir, I would be interested in the position, however I am currently located elsewhere and the commute to New Zealand from England would be a trifle unsuitable.

If Sir and Madam ever require services, 'over the pond', as I am aware you 'yanks' describe it, I would be open to negotiations.

I do have references from members of this forum on my chauffeuring ability as well as my cooking*

Thank you.


*For cooking please read, bought some good ol' British Fish 'n' Chips and served them up!

 

[Bob Arctor]

A'hem Sir, I would be interested in the position, however I am currently located elsewhere and the commute to New Zealand from England would be a trifle unsuitable.

If Sir and Madam ever require services, 'over the pond', as I am aware you 'yanks' describe it, I would be open to negotiations.

I do have references from members of this forum on my chauffeuring ability as well as my cooking*

Thank you.


*For cooking please read, bought some good ol' British Fish 'n' Chips and served them up!

Hmm sounds tempting. What do you think, my dear? Should we go see the queen?

 

[Drama]

A'hem Sir, I would be interested in the position, however I am currently located elsewhere and the commute to New Zealand from England would be a trifle unsuitable.

If Sir and Madam ever require services, 'over the pond', as I am aware you 'yanks' describe it, I would be open to negotiations.

I do have references from members of this forum on my chauffeuring ability as well as my cooking*

Thank you.


*For cooking please read, bought some good ol' British Fish 'n' Chips and served them up!

Hmm sounds tempting. What do you think, my dear? Should we go see the queen?

It sounds interesting, indeed.
*more calculating* do you think we can do it?
What about NZ!

 

[Bob Arctor]

Ok NZ first.

 

[Drama]

yaay that sounds like a good plan