Calling all angels

Naleena · Jul 30, 2009

It feels like my soul will collapse with the weight of all the things in the world- my world- that cry out to be fixed, or loved, or saved. When my energy is all gone, who will step up to save me? When I am at my lowest point, how will I survive? Where is my hero? Sometimes I need for the wailing voices to be silent, for my eyes to become blind to what is and what is not. I am worn down and tired. At this moment, there is not much left.
I want to die like the phoenix and be transformed into something more beautiful, stronger, and adequate. The dark night of the soul comes to visit. Purpose seems to fade like the final rays of the sun setting behind the mountains. It is almost gone...almost out of sight. The only thing that remains are the eternal questions which have no answers. Perhaps this is what the phoenix feels before the flames devour him?

.

Steel · Jul 30, 2009

((((((Naleena)))))))

It's not much, but it is sincere.

Lonesome Crow · Jul 30, 2009

Nalee,

You know how to get a hold of me.
You were there when I needed you, surely I can be there for you too.

But here's the thing. I can't fix you. I can't take away your pains. I can't disrupt the mirracle.
I have to stay out of the way so the mirracle can happen.
I love you too much.

The closest I can explain to you is that of a butterfly getting ready to spread it's wings and fly for the first time.
I can't touch your wings...if I do, you will never fly.
Whatever struggles you're having, just know it's your wings that's building strength.

Let go....whatever fears or whatever it is that you're holding hold to...Let go.
It's like a death ...face death so that you will get reborn.
Yes...like a phoenix rasining from the ashes...but its has to become ashes first.
That's why you're worn down...Stop fighting it now...Just LET GO.
LET GO Of wanting to know the answers...Don't figure it out or try to figure it out.
The answers will come to you or you don't have to know the answer.
It's like being baptise by fire...You spread your wings from a lake of fire.

mmm...Warning !!!
I no angel, though.

Ok, you can reserch on THE WHEEL of LIFE. Writtings from walls of many accent civilations about life and spiritaulity.
It might give you a little bit of insight or a conception of what you're going through.
When you're at the 6 O-clock position..you are stripped naked of everything (some sort of bottom or a mental/emotional death).
However...knowelge or insight dose not exclude you from going through this process. Embrace it...embrace the process.

Naleena · Jul 31, 2009

Thank you for replying. After I wrote this yesterday, I laid down to sleep and had a dream. I was on an island and there were busy streets and it was raining. People were walking around with their umbrellas going about thier business. I didn't have an umbrella. I was so fascinated with the rain. I kept my eyes on the sky and tried to understand the rain. It was so beautiful! It looked like Monet's starry night painting. You could follow the rain in patterns and swirls and when I followed the patterns and came close to the end .... just as I was about to see it and understand it's design, my eyes would become blurred. The rain didn't just fall down. It cycled up and down and I can only describe it as changing....being in flux. I kept looking up at the sky saying "Show me" "Show me" I wanted to understand. Then I became so frustrated that I yelled,"SHOW ME! Pleeaaaaaaaase" All of the sudden the rain fell down..all of it. People were running and trying to find cover. I ran into a house that looked like a light house. It was a house with many floors and only children lived there. The rain flooded and the ocean rose. And in the end, at the top floor of the house, I looked down and far below all I could see were sharp rocks that the house stood on and the ocean waves hitting against them. The sky remained grey but, there wasn't any more rain. Everything had been destroyed by the down pour except, for the house where the children lived.

I don't expect anyone to get this or me. It is what it is. For whatever reason it feels good to get it out.

SophiaGrace · Aug 7, 2009

(((((((((((((((((Naleena)))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes we need a break from the things which trouble us. Lay low, to gather our strength, to think, to gather reinforcements.

Whatever you do, never give up.

I think you are right in mentioning the Phoenix, how it dies and is reborn. I think we tend to do this in times of darkness/trial. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

The only danger is if we forget that there is a light. Never forget this. Ever.

Dont forget the lighthouse exists. To lead the lost seamen in their ships safely home. Imagine nights where they cling to the iron runged ladders on their decks in the pouring rain, caught in a storm. And then, they see a lighthouse....and know they are home.

Dont lose hope.

*hug*

PoWer2tHePeOpLE · Aug 7, 2009

beautiful dream. its sounds like you were safe and hopefully warm in the presence of the children (innocence, purity).

"there is a light and it never goes out"
"there is a light and it never goes out"
"there is a light and it NEVER goes out"

peace.