Can it get any worse? Everything's falling apart

[the-alchemist]

**** this ****! Man, tomorrow will have been 7 hellish days for me. Each and every one of those days has been ****.

Day 1 which was Thursday Dec 9: I have lunch with a girl I like at the university, unfortunately I get so ******* nervous around her. I came off as ******* desperate, because after the lunch, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. She said no. I kept asking her these kinds of stuff, to make a painful story short, she gave me a permaent and unpronounced rejection. She would "text me" when she's "got time...""

In low spirits, I headed off to work where there is another girl I've had eyes on. We started to talk and got off pretty well. I saw my chance at redemption for this day. But then I got cockblocked by a coworker who I was friends with. He started to make racist jokes at her and all kinds of **** (she is asian) and thus made me look bad. She avoided me the rest of the day suffice to say. It was painful walking past her in the corridor, I am not racist in any way and I didn't know my buddy was such an uncultured *******.

Day 2: Uneventful, but I confronted my coworker, calling him an idiot and we had a tense argument. I told the racist ************ to **** off.

Day 3: Due to the two prior days, I wasn't in a good mood. I just wanted to be left alone. My mom however somehow persuaded me to go out and have something to eat. It ended badly. Later that night, I called my mom and criticized her, saying I wanted to be left alone. We had a big argument, you can read more in the Misc section.

Day 4: A horrible sunday, I was just depressed from the argument I had with mom. I was so angry with her, all I could think about was how anngry I was with her. I couldn't sleep well.

Day 5: Monday, back to work. My coworker came and bitched at me for telling him off. At the end of the work, I talked to female coworker on the way home. Came off as desperate against her as well even though I had no romantic feelings for her.

Day 6: Uneventful I suppose. Nothing special that happened. Just another day in my otherwise lonely loveless life.

Day 7: Can it get any ******* worse? Basically, there are 3 girls I'm interestd in at the moment. One is the uni-girl who got pressured too much by me. The other is the asian girl who thinks I'm racist by association. And one is a half-pakistani girl. We've talked to eachother for a few weeks, she's not often at work but when she is, we come off well. I was starting to loosen up in her presence. Then came the world's biggest cockblocker, and I mean 'biggest' in the literal sense.

He must be 190 cm tall, an athletic built and a ******* confident attitude coupled with an exotic look. On the other hand, I'm 166 cm and I weigh around 53 kg, and I have a low-key, insecure and shy personality. He's a ******* alpha-male As me and the girl were walking, he came up behind us and started talking to the girl. The walk to the subway station was him and her talking to eachother and me just shutting up.

I tried in vain to get in on the conversation by sprinkling in some word here and there but he had hijacked it and brushed it off. I stood no chance against his ability to take the spotlight. We were down in the metro, and the hijacking continued. He went off on a station before us, and I had one miserable minute with her. We had a small chat, I dare not speculate on where her affections lie but with my display of insecurity, my hopes aren't too high.

So today, my third shot at love has been eliminated. I'm going to study abroad next year, hopefully that wil be a new start. But man, why am I always the victim of cockblockers or personal insecuity?

Disclaimer: When I say 'cockblockers', it doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I have no intentions like that

 

[stuff4096]

Wow, that does sound like a rough week. Honestly I am shocked that twice in the same week could you have essentially the same bad luck (i.e. an outside party interfering with your attempt to get to know a girl). I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Being a victim of the blockers is hard to control. They can lurk and show up at any point I can relate to the personal insecurities you have, as I have that to. As bad as your week was, at least you were able to approach girls and talk to them, albeit not in the way you may have hoped. That is a step up from me who finds it nearly impossible to do. I applaud your willingness to make an attempt! As I have not figured this out myself, I will share what others have told me. You should keep talking to girls because nothing will happen if you do nothing. Being nervous is hard to overcome I know, but perhaps if you go in with the intent to just get to know. I have found that I seem to have little trouble talking to married girls. My friend speculates this is because I have no romantic interest in them so there is no pressure. So if you can reduce the pressure you are placing on yourself, perhaps the real you will come across. It is hard to tell what kind of person you are just based on your post, but my instinct tells me you are not such a bad person. Anyhow, hang in there brother!

 

[the-alchemist]

Thanks, I've woked on my approach anxiety. I haven't gotten rid of it completely, but it sure is better than it was 4 months ago. You just gotta practice, I'm still learning and I still have a long way to go.

I feel like **** today, my confidence is at a rock-bottom. I mean ****, I was just loosening up with that girl, I was starting to really improve my social skills both times I got blocked. And then this ****.

I mean usually, my life is **** but bad incidences are usually evenly paced, like maybe once or twice a week perhaps. Here, each and everyday during this period has been bad. It's like suffering several KO losses in a row in boxing or MMA. Right now something in me just wants to give up, the worst thinn is, I have absolutely nobody I can tal to. None in my family, I only have ONE real friend but I can't talk to him about it either

I don't feel like going to work honestly but I have to in order to save money, because I'm going to study abroad next year. I'm going to leave this **** behind me

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wow, that sucks sorry about your week. Have you tried to talk to the Asian girl about your ass co-worker? Like really talk to her, even make an appointment with her? Cause she shouldn't be thinking you are a racist ass just because of that other guy.

You're way more confident then you think, even if you feel like its shot full of holes. You actually made the attempt to talk to these women.

 

[Mr. Sir]

**** this ****! Man, tomorrow will have been 7 hellish days for me. Each and every one of those days has been ****.

Day 1 which was Thursday Dec 9: I have lunch with a girl I like at the university, unfortunately I get so ******* nervous around her. I came off as ******* desperate, because after the lunch, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. She said no. I kept asking her these kinds of stuff, to make a painful story short, she gave me a permaent and unpronounced rejection. She would "text me" when she's "got time...""

In low spirits, I headed off to work where there is another girl I've had eyes on. We started to talk and got off pretty well. I saw my chance at redemption for this day. But then I got cockblocked by a coworker who I was friends with. He started to make racist jokes at her and all kinds of **** (she is asian) and thus made me look bad. She avoided me the rest of the day suffice to say. It was painful walking past her in the corridor, I am not racist in any way and I didn't know my buddy was such an uncultured *******.

Day 2: Uneventful, but I confronted my coworker, calling him an idiot and we had a tense argument. I told the racist ************ to **** off.

Day 3: Due to the two prior days, I wasn't in a good mood. I just wanted to be left alone. My mom however somehow persuaded me to go out and have something to eat. It ended badly. Later that night, I called my mom and criticized her, saying I wanted to be left alone. We had a big argument, you can read more in the Misc section.

Day 4: A horrible sunday, I was just depressed from the argument I had with mom. I was so angry with her, all I could think about was how anngry I was with her. I couldn't sleep well.

Day 5: Monday, back to work. My coworker came and bitched at me for telling him off. At the end of the work, I talked to female coworker on the way home. Came off as desperate against her as well even though I had no romantic feelings for her.

Day 6: Uneventful I suppose. Nothing special that happened. Just another day in my otherwise lonely loveless life.

Day 7: Can it get any ******* worse? Basically, there are 3 girls I'm interestd in at the moment. One is the uni-girl who got pressured too much by me. The other is the asian girl who thinks I'm racist by association. And one is a half-pakistani girl. We've talked to eachother for a few weeks, she's not often at work but when she is, we come off well. I was starting to loosen up in her presence. Then came the world's biggest cockblocker, and I mean 'biggest' in the literal sense.

He must be 190 cm tall, an athletic built and a ******* confident attitude coupled with an exotic look. On the other hand, I'm 166 cm and I weigh around 53 kg, and I have a low-key, insecure and shy personality. He's a ******* alpha-male As me and the girl were walking, he came up behind us and started talking to the girl. The walk to the subway station was him and her talking to eachother and me just shutting up.

I tried in vain to get in on the conversation by sprinkling in some word here and there but he had hijacked it and brushed it off. I stood no chance against his ability to take the spotlight. We were down in the metro, and the hijacking continued. He went off on a station before us, and I had one miserable minute with her. We had a small chat, I dare not speculate on where her affections lie but with my display of insecurity, my hopes aren't too high.

So today, my third shot at love has been eliminated. I'm going to study abroad next year, hopefully that wil be a new start. But man, why am I always the victim of cockblockers or personal insecuity?

Disclaimer: When I say 'cockblockers', it doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I have no intentions like that

Sorry for your troubles, buddy.

The words in bold say it all. You need to get to this guy's level. No girl will ever pick you if she has that kind of alternative. Why would you take a Honda if you could take a Ferrari? It just doesn't make sense.

It's good that you like 3 girls at once though. Even when you're in a relationship you should have prospects lined up back to back. You never know when girls will suddenly snap and do a 180 with their feelings and behaviors.

Keep putting yourself out there and you'll do well. Just hit me up if you need anything.

 

[the-alchemist]

****, everytime I see that alpha-male at my work I feel bad. Just his presence gives me anxiety.

I don't have any hopes about the one from the university. Japanese people are painfully polite judging from what my recent experiences tell me.

Wow, that sucks sorry about your week. Have you tried to talk to the Asian girl about your ass co-worker? Like really talk to her, even make an appointment with her? Cause she shouldn't be thinking you are a racist ass just because of that other guy.

You're way more confident then you think, even if you feel like its shot full of holes. You actually made the attempt to talk to these women.

I don't have her phone number or anything, so it's hard to contact her kinda. I might've gotten it if it hadn't been for the ******* hahaha

I haven't seen that asian coworker since that incident. But yeah, next time I see her I'll try my best. I mean really, it can't get any worse. Might as well brace myself for another load of bad luck heading my way. The only thing keping my spirits up right now is the fact that I'm going abroad

To all of you who are afraid to approach, I just wanna say hang in there. I was once there too. And from time to time, the fear reenters my systems, so this is an ongoing process. Just keep working at it.

P.S Do I have an asian fetish? The girl from the university is a japanese exchange student. The asian coworker is a korean adoptee. And the 3rd girl who I've had most success with (and unfortunately got blocked against) so far is half-white and half-pakistani. I am iranian myself.

Diverse world we're living in eh?

 

[Mr. Sir]

If you're Iranian, make sure you take good care of your hygiene, and get the excess hair chemically removed. Make sure you are not too skinny or fat, because that combined with alot of body hair looks REALLY bad, most girls find it gross. I am just assuming you are hairy because my friends who are Middle-Eastern all are. Be impeccable about your scent, carry deodorant on your person at all times.

I'm Italian-American myself, and apparently I used to smell like garlic, onions, and olive oil until I started being NEUROTIC about my hygiene. Once in High School, me and my buddies hiked a nearby mountain in our boxers, and they were complaining that I literally smelled like the greasiest, diritiest, most disgusting smell. Some said I smelled like a dead rodent.

Also I had acne problems due to all the grease and olive oil in my skin. Make sure you don't have the same problem.

 

[the-alchemist]

Actually I am quite the opposite of many middle-easterners. I don't have much hair on my body, and my beard-growth is slow and limited. You're generalizing alot

But appearances don't really matter, girls go 90% for personality.

 

[Badjedidude]

No girl will ever pick you if she has that kind of alternative. Why would you take a Honda if you could take a Ferrari? It just doesn't make sense.

Honda gets better gas mileage.

It's good that you like 3 girls at once though. Even when you're in a relationship you should have prospects lined up back to back. You never know when girls will suddenly snap and do a 180 with their feelings and behaviors.

Stupidest advice I've heard today. If you have multiple prospects, your girlfriend will sense that in you and naturally be less inclined to stay with you. Try being LOYAL. It works for people intelligent enough to not be a douchecock to every woman in sight.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Actually I am quite the opposite of many middle-easterners. I don't have much hair on my body, and my beard-growth is slow and limited. You're generalizing alot

But appearances don't really matter, girls go 90% for personality.

Yes, that's what he gets for assuming and stereotyping.

+1 rep for you, Alchemist.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Yes, girls do go for 90% for personality BUT there are a few factors that are being ignored here.

See personality DEFINES what you look like. If you are a dude who lives in mom's basement and plays video games and watches anime all day, you will likely be extremely pale, and your lack of contact with the outside world will be limited so you will not be keeping up with fashion. You will be out of shape from sitting on your butt all day and watching anime/playing WoW. You will likely forget to groom and bathe, and acne will cover your face. Your body language will be slouched, sloppy, and weak (body language is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally important to girls). You will often forget to zip up your pants when going out. Because of your lifestyle/personality, you will become unattractive.

LOOKS REPRESENT PEOPLE'S PERSONALITY.

Last Friday, a musician friend of mine (kinda does his own thing, smokes a ton of pot, rasta hair, covered in tattoos, lanky muscle) took me to a really sketch club to teach me how to dance. Girls can't HEAR what you're saying in a club. They can only look at your body language and the way you present yourself. THAT is what will make them decide whether or not they want to dance with you. So if a muscular, clear-skinned, well-dressed, well-groomed dude with upright, strong body language goes up to her and starts dancing, waiting for her to mirror him, she will probably do so. She is attracted to those LOOKS because they represent a desirable personality (strong, tough, up-to-date with trends, clean, takes care of himself).

If an obese or beanpole scrawny dude, with a face covered in acne, sloppy hair, dressed like a grandpa or like mommy picked out his clothes, and sickly, pale skin, tries to dance with a girl (mind you, I am not talking about grinding, I am talking about dancing) she will 90% likely be repulsed and run away from him on the dance floor.

You cant POSSIBLY argue with this logic.

 

[the-alchemist]

Yes, girls do go for 90% for personality BUT there are a few factors that are being ignored here.

See personality DEFINES what you look like. If you are a dude who lives in mom's basement and plays video games and watches anime all day, you will likely be extremely pale, and your lack of contact with the outside world will be limited so you will not be keeping up with fashion. You will be out of shape from sitting on your butt all day and watching anime/playing WoW. You will likely forget to groom and bathe, and acne will cover your face. Your body language will be slouched, sloppy, and weak (body language is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally important to girls). You will often forget to zip up your pants when going out. Because of your lifestyle/personality, you will become unattractive.

LOOKS REPRESENT PEOPLE'S PERSONALITY.

Last Friday, a musician friend of mine (kinda does his own thing, smokes a ton of pot, rasta hair, covered in tattoos, lanky muscle) took me to a really sketch club to teach me how to dance. Girls can't HEAR what you're saying in a club. They can only look at your body language and the way you present yourself. THAT is what will make them decide whether or not they want to dance with you. So if a muscular, clear-skinned, well-dressed, well-groomed dude with upright, strong body language goes up to her and starts dancing, waiting for her to mirror him, she will probably do so. She is attracted to those LOOKS because they represent a desirable personality (strong, tough, up-to-date with trends, clean, takes care of himself).

If an obese or beanpole scrawny dude, with a face covered in acne, sloppy hair, dressed like a grandpa or like mommy picked out his clothes, and sickly, pale skin, tries to dance with a girl (mind you, I am not talking about grinding, I am talking about dancing) she will 90% likely be repulsed and run away from him on the dance floor.

You cant POSSIBLY argue with this logic.

Listen, maybe you're a wannabe PUA. Or heck, maybe you're that racist coworker of mine. It looks to me anyway like you're a fan of Neil Strauss or something. I've seen ugly guys with beautiful girls because of their personality.

You're an idiot simply put

Especially when you assume that I am hairy and unhygienic because I am of Middle Eastern descent. It just makes you look prejudiced and clueless. There are hairy men of all kinds, of all races. There are hairy white men, black men, south-american men etc. And I say this from my own experience, not because it's PC. So take your stupid advice elsewhere, maybe to some seduction-community forum.

Thankfully, the girls I've been in contact with has not been as prejudiced and shallow as you.

Stupidest advice I've heard today. If you have multiple prospects, your girlfriend will sense that in you and naturally be less inclined to stay with you. Try being LOYAL. It works for people intelligent enough to not be a douchecock to every woman in sight.

Well, if I had landed 1 of them I would've stayed loyal without a doubt. They were 3 prospective girlfriend who got picked off one by one. One by me, the other two by blockers.

Like I said before, I'm not a player kind of guy. If I have a girlfriend, I'm loyal. But in the meantime, I can have 'prospects', though I'm not optimistic that I have any right now

 

[Mr. Sir]

You see ugly guys with beautiful girls if they have an ALPHA personality. That's the mistake that's made. Women want ALPHA not "nice". Sure, women like guys who act all sensitive and romantic in the bedroom, but if a guy was actually NICE out in the real world, he'd be a weakling who gets stepped on and no woman wants that.

And I wasn't trying to insult you for being Middle-Eastern. My friend is Palestinian and he came to me asking what his problem was, and we figured it was body-hair and odor. I was just making a recommendation. Yes, there's white dudes who are hairy and stink too. What's your point?

 

[EveWasFramed]

What's your point?

See below for said point.

You're an idiot simply put

Especially when you assume that I am hairy and unhygienic because I am of Middle Eastern descent. It just makes you look prejudiced and clueless.

I believe THAT is his point.

 

[Mr. Sir]

I didn't assume anything.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I am just assuming you are hairy because my friends who are Middle-Eastern all are.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[the-alchemist]

LOL, why am I even debating with this stupid donkey?

Take your advice elsewhere. If I have learned anything, it is that girls are different. Just like guys. That might sound like breaking news to you but that's a fact.

Not only are you generalizing middle-eastern people, but you're also generalizing women and girls. Are you sure you're not my racist coworker?

 

[EveWasFramed]

LOL, why am I even debating with this stupid donkey?

Take your advice elsewhere. If I have learned anything, it is that girls are different. Just like guys. That might sound like breaking news to you but that's a fact.

Not only are you generalizing middle-eastern people, but you're also generalizing women and girls. Are you sure you're not my racist coworker?

OMG...I laughed and laughed. Ha!!!