Can't get over this guy...feeling down

[forallreals]

I'm a 17 year old girl. I have recently started running as well as strength training, my body is looking better than ever. Sadly, I wish I could have the same confidence about my face. I am very pale, have the most boring eyes (small and brown), a pretty large nose, and a long face shape with no defined cheekbones. I used to be able to accept my unattractiveness, but now it's really getting to me. I have great friends and parents who are there for me, but I have never had a boyfriend. In my 17 years of life, I've had maybe 2 or 3 guys show a little interest in me, but they've moved on quickly before anything became of that. I had accepted the fact that maybe once I went to college I would find someone with the same interests who loved me for me. And then for some reason I developed this attraction to a guy in my school. The worst part about this is that he's not entirely out of my reach. As far as social standings go we're just about equal. He's glanced at me a few times before but that has stopped. It hurts so bad knowing that had I been born just a little more attractive I could've had him. He's cute, intelligent, great body, kind, etc. I mean...he doesn't look like David Beckham, but he's definitely attractive. Just painfully shy. I think that's the reason why he probably isn't more "popular". Ever since I started liking him I have felt uglier than ever. Every time I look in the mirror I hate everything I see. I know it sounds stupid to do this to myself over a guy, but there's something different about him. I can't explain. I honestly don't care what any other person thinks about me, but when it comes to him I am always feel like I look like ****. I feel like maybe if I at least fixed my nose I could stand a chance with him, but I have not found a job yet even though I've been looking for almost a year. It would be at least a few years before I saved up enough (and I'd literally have to save everything I made) to afford a nose job. I guess the good thing is that he lives about 1 minute down the street from me, so if he ever comes home from college after I get some work done, I can just casually run past his house, hoping to see him. I sound absolutely ridiculous. I know. I've liked other guys in the past who I knew I had zero chance with and accepted that. But knowing he is just within my reach hurts so bad. I've cried over this, and even my mom noticed I'm more reserved than usual. I guess you could say I'm depressed over it, too. I don't know how to get over this or how to cope with how I feel. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please share, I'd really appreciate it.

 

[Anonymous Rex]

It's a bit different for me as a guy, as there's less social pressure on men to be physically attractive than women, but I've been there, particularly when I was around your age.

First important thing to remember, is that you're probably a lot better looking than you think. You're fixating on what you think are flaws, and they're probably not as bad as you think. Just because you don't have a supermodel's cheekbones, and you think your nose is a bit big, doesn't mean you need plastic surgery.

Personally, when I look in the mirror, I sometimes fixate on my large ears and nose, but I've been told I have a beautiful smile.
Apart from the extremes - Elle MacPherson and Quasimodo - there's a lot of room for personal taste in who's beautiful or ugly.
A lot of my attractions have been based on the woman's personality - I can think of a few women I've dated or been attracted to who I honestly couldn't say if they were slightly above average or slightly below average looking, taking their personality out of the equation, and how that expressed itself on their face.

Besides, how do you know that this guy isn't obsessing over you? Thinking about how, now that you're getting into shape and looking better than ever, he'll never have a chance with you? He could be beating himself up about letting his shyness hold him back from approaching you.

 

[zaphodity]

That's an easy one, tell him how you feel. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

[septicemia]

If hes shy he may be embarrassed by even making eye contact with you, just out of his shyness. I think you should make more of an effort to let him know you like him, you never know what might come of it!

 

[Anonymous Rex]

Just wondering out of curiosity, how this turned out?

Was our advice helpful? Did you make a move? Are you still reading here?

 

[Ak5]

Talk to him more, force yourself to do so; you're holding yourself back. If he doesn't like how you look, find a guy who does.

Don't pass up an opportunity!

 

[Nolife Princess]

Howdy!

Confidence is much more beautiful/sexy, than any bodybuilding, pretty face, big tittied, flaunting tail gal could ever be!

When you have confidence, you have won the game.
Just keeping it real.

*HUGS*
[video=youtube]

 

[ZENX49]

Nolife Princess is right. Assert yourself and you'll find confidence inspite of your inequities. Through this, you will rise above those who ride on the coat tails of their naturally occurring blessings they take for granted. This is a fine time for you to learn how to be strident in your efforts to become confident in yourself. It's a critical step forward into becoming independent -- even powerful if you know where you're going and what you want.

 

[forallreals]

Hey guys I just wanted to say thanks for everyone's responses so far. Sorry it's taken me so long to respond back, I've been busy with Christmas and what not. Your advice has been amazing. However, I've decided not to pursue him and just admire from a distance. The problem is that I'm in high school and everything gets around so fast. I'm sure he wouldn't be an ******* about it if I asked him to formal or something and he didn't want to go, but some of his friends aren't the nicest and I'd worry that he might tell them and eventually it'd get around to everyone. Had I been in college I would say that I would probably have manned up and just talked to him because the environment there is so different from high school. He actually lives right down the street from me, so who knows. At least I know where he is if I ever decide to contact him a few years down the road. It sucks, but life is what it is. I do have good news though, my family is getting a golden retriever puppy in March, and I've wanted a dog forever since mine died a few years ago. So that's definitely something to look forward to. Thanks again for being so kind. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone.