Can't hold down a job ...

[sad_lonely]

I'm thirty-six but I can't seem to hold down a job.  I always either get fired due to some anger outburst, or I end up rage quitting over, well, some kind of anger outburst.  I do have an anger management issue for which I have have received some counseling.  Though it did help, I don't think I'll ever be normal in that regard. 

Is it impossible for someone of my age to get started in an actual satisfying career?  I'm not cut out to do just any kind of work.  Boredom stresses me out and leads to anger.  I'm good with automotive diagnostics and maintenance, and I am good with technical computer stuff such as programming.  I tried to turn programming into a job but in so doing nearly destroyed my enthusiasm for my hobby.  I'm considering doing some kind of mobile automotive maintenance such as oil changes, brake work, tire rotations, state inspection readiness checks.  My last job was in a repair shop, but I got fired over a verbal altercation with a co-worker which the boss took seriously.

In addition, I have never had a girlfriend unless you count a mid nineties AOL teenage romance a girlfriend.  I've never been kissed.  I'm still a virgin.  I can't seem to ever be "one of the guys".

 

[evanescencefan912]

Hey sad_lonely I have a lot of the same problems I've worked various jobs, but I've never been able to find anything permanent, never had a girlfriend either, so you're not alone there. Don't give up though it sounds like you've got some real experience which is a lot more than a lot of people (myself included) can say. Maybe try continue with consoling and keep looking for jobs.

Remember I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

 

[michael2]

Hi sad_lonely, I have some things in common with you. 30s, never had a girlfriend, trouble finding/keeping work, cant seem to ever be "one of the guys" and an inability to stomach repetitive jobs no matter how easy they may be.

My advice? Try to find out what the source is behind your anger. Perhaps it could be a result of your frustration with how your life has gone so far? You say boredom stresses you out and leads to anger, but what is causing the boredom? Is it working at a job that you dislike? Either way, I feel you should really put in effort to try and control your emotions, and not let them control you while hurting your chances at succeeding in certain ventures. A bit hypocritical coming from me, as my emotional response to such things is to give up and fall into a deep depression which I am criticized for regularly.

 

[fract-r]

Unfortunately, it's just one of those things. Unless you can get lucky and get a really enjoyable, high paying job, you have to make do with what you're eligible for. If you like auto work, then do that. I tried to get into that field myself (but they wouldn't hire someone with a visible tattoo).

You're probably just angry at the way your life is. It's understandable. I feel the same exact way. I have so much rage because I am pissed at myself for my lack of self-efficacy and letting myself get to this point of stagnation. I'm turning 30 in a few months, so I know what it feels like to feel like you're not where you're supposed to be for your age.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm thirty-six but I can't seem to hold down a job.  I always either get fired due to some anger outburst, or I end up rage quitting over, well, some kind of anger outburst.  I do have an anger management issue for which I have have received some counseling.  Though it did help, I don't think I'll ever be normal in that regard. 

Is it impossible for someone of my age to get started in an actual satisfying career?  I'm not cut out to do just any kind of work.  Boredom stresses me out and leads to anger.  I'm good with automotive diagnostics and maintenance, and I am good with technical computer stuff such as programming.  I tried to turn programming into a job but in so doing nearly destroyed my enthusiasm for my hobby.  I'm considering doing some kind of mobile automotive maintenance such as oil changes, brake work, tire rotations, state inspection readiness checks.  My last job was in a repair shop, but I got fired over a verbal altercation with a co-worker which the boss took seriously.

In addition, I have never had a girlfriend unless you count a mid nineties AOL teenage romance a girlfriend.  I've never been kissed.  I'm still a virgin.  I can't seem to ever be "one of the guys".

I hear you.  I can't seem to think of any "normal" job that would really satisfy me, or be anything to me other than a paycheck.  I have things that I'd like to get good at, but they aren't the kinds of things you get paid for unless you're extremely good at them, which I would love to be but I don't know if I can.  I have a hard time motivating myself to learn and do things that I am not passionate about, have zero interest in, or that won't take me any closer to becoming the person I'd like to be - in fact, most of these things would take me further away from it.  I want to be interesting, creative, confident, and one-of-a-kind, but I feel like most jobs would kick me into being boring, uninspired, submissive, and anonymous.  But that seems to be the most sure way to make money - learn things I don't care about, to do things I don't want to do, to be something I don't want to be, to keep surviving to keep being something I don't like.  Even if I could escape being poor, which is a big "if", I'd still have to deal with being normal, mundane, boring to others and myself.  And because i'd be boring, i'd be unattractive as well, especially to the ones I want to attract.  I want to keep living of course but I feel like I'm tied up on a runaway train that's headed straight off a cliff.  It's frustrating.

In my last full-time job, I was completely bored. The job had absolutely nothing to do with any direction I wanted to go in life. I gave up on myself, and all I really did was work, and drink whenever I had the chance. I would go out not because I felt like socializing, but because it was an excuse to drink away the feeling that I was untalented and all the good things in life were for other people, not me, because I just didn't have it in me to be good enough and I would never be able to distinguish myself. I felt like all my life would ever be is crap jobs and waiting to kick the bucket, and I couldn't see how I could change my course.

At least you have some skills, know what you're good at and what you like.  I still don't know.  I didn't do enough research when I should have and just went through the motions of education because I felt like I didn't have much other choice. I was also convinced at the time that the world was going to collapse soon, so it didn't matter what I did - I didn't plan for the future because I didn't think there would be one.  I keep thinking that I need to do more career research when I get a chance.  I don't expect to find anything that I am crazy about, but if I could find something that paid decently, had a normal work/life balance and left me enough time to get good at things and develop myself the way I really want to, and wasn't dishrag boring, that would be nice.

 

[dd11]

I told my son "the ability to keep your mouth shut is one of the greatest skills you will ever learn". A job is your means to live. Is it worth venting your anger for a few min of satisfaction and then lose your job? We all have to deal with that. Go to work, be quiet and do your job.