Central Illinois F, 52 seeks friends due to severe lonliness

[thissideofdeath]

I babysit my grandson 6 days a week. Married but we don't talk. He is gone a lot due to business. Lots of pets but no adults to talk to. Good listener. Need someone to listen to me too Used to have lots of friends but the last 5 years we all drifted apart. I really feel like this is an issue for me now. It feels like sensory deprivation. Was off today and all I have done is sleep and watch the tv. I was thinking earlier how nice it will be to be able to live in a nursing home someday (was watching a Gray's Anatomy rerun). It dawned on me that even the worst nursing home would be great because there would be so many people to talk to! Scary, huh? That's me. Male or female responses welcomed. Did I do this correctly?

 

[dead]

you did just fine. you sound like an interesting person, and i really hope that you won't need to think of nursing homes again *shudder*. 52 is WAAAAY WAY WAY too young for thouse thoughts :/

anyway. i hope you will find awesome people to talk to, both here and outside of the site.

have a good one

 

[evanescencefan91]

hey this side of death welcome to the forum

ah how old is your grandson? What's his name?

Take him to the park, and you can talk to other parents and grandparents there, have you looked into joining any book clubs? or starting one of your own? My grandmother volunteer at the animal shelter a lot. She also has a pretty close community with people at her church and they have a quilting group there. I myself am not really one for religion, but churches are good place to find a place in a community, they are friendly and welcoming they usually have potlucks and brunch get togethers and bible studies that you can join with them


I hope things get better *hugs*

 

[thissideofdeath]

you did just fine. you sound like an interesting person, and i really hope that you won't need to think of nursing homes again *shudder*. 52 is WAAAAY WAY WAY too young for thouse thoughts :/

anyway. i hope you will find awesome people to talk to, both here and outside of the site.

have a good one

Thank you. What I meant was all the people, many being like a captive audience so to speak! Lol. Gray's was about loneliness and there was an eldery woman who refused to check out of the hospital because she was being sent to live at a nursing home. She wanted to live with her daughter. I would never live with my kids!!!

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hey this side of death welcome to the forum

ah how old is your grandson? What's his name?

Take him to the park, and you can talk to other parents and grandparents there, have you looked into joining any book clubs? or starting one of your own? My grandmother volunteer at the animal shelter a lot. She also has a pretty close community with people at her church and they have a quilting group there. I myself am not really one for religion, but churches are good place to find a place in a community, they are friendly and welcoming they usually have potlucks and brunch get togethers and bible studies that you can join with them


I hope things get better *hugs*

The baby is 4. We live in a really small town. There aren't a lot of other people at the park and my husband usually takes him there. I'm not into clubs and there aren't any here anyway. Seems like life has got too busy for everyone. Can't volunteer since DIL's schedule at work varies and I never know what time I am babysitting. Sometimes it's 6:30 am and sometimes in the afternoon. At times I have him till 10:30 at night. Son is busy too and on call a lot so I just keep the baby. They are only a few blocks from us so it's convienient.

I used to go to church. We got a new priest and I don't like him. We are catholic and he acts like we are lutheran or something. Nothing against any other religion but he can't take things out of the mass just to make it easier on him! You don't need church to talk to God and the saints anyway. Most of my tats are religious I'm not your typical looking granny at all. I'm not accepted by many people my own age because they think I am too radical or wild or something...My former best friend's husband said I taught his wife how to swear and caused their divorce! Lol, she knew all the cuss words before I met her and I'm sure the fact that she had numerous affairs starting years before we met caused their divorce, not me! I wasn't aware till the end that she used me to cover for her without my permission though and that ended our friendship. I felt very used and betrayed.

Anyhow...I'm just looking for people to talk to and maybe meet up with if they are close enough. Lunch out once a month would be great. Someone with a grand that they babysit too would be killer! The world has changed too much since the net came about. Granted, I have been on it since it first became available to the public but it causes a lack in society. I see it with my adult kids too. They stay in touch with a lot of their friends from HS and college via the net only. One father who lives down the block from us remarked that our daughters live 4 or 5 blocks from each other in Chicago and they never see each other but stay in touch on Facebook! I don't get that at all...

 

[dead]

hmmmm... i am not sure if the net causes further lacks in society, i think it just showcases some of the symptoms of longer existing trends.
for me the internet is the main socializing tool, since very few people would talk to me face to face - probably put off by my (admittedly not very usual) appearance.
in fact, that is one of the strength of the online communication - it removes the boundaries and barriers of appearance and obvious differences of culture and background - leaving only those that the person chooses for themselves (chosen names, etc). of course, this can, and is sometimes exploited, and makes for a certain amount of facelessness and anonymity - but still, overall - i believe it presents us on the margins of society with a valuable opportunity to find each other, and communicate with like minded, or vastly different people.

besides, i could mention that while the increasingly busy lifestyles of most people nowdays do not allow for as much personal, face to face communication as they did before, and the net (facebook, etc) makes it a bit easier to follow one's friends' or relatives' lives. after all, before the net most people would only see extended family on holidays, christmas, hanukka, and etc'.

anyway. i don't think this replaces "real life" communication. nor it is truly sufficient.
but for some of us with limited options - it is, if not enough - certainly better than none.

/rant.

i am sorry to read that the people in your life seem to be not very understanding or indeed supportive of your lifestyle, and it sounds silly to think that you have caused that woman's divorce. i bet there were much more important underlying problems than bad language. but sometimes people find it easy to just find an excuse/scapegoat and move on.

i hope you will find more like minded people though, whether online or face to face.

 

[thissideofdeath]

You know you just made me very curious! Could it possibly be worse than a 52 year old woman who is heavily tattooed and pierced?

hmmmm... i am not sure if the net causes further lacks in society, i think it just showcases some of the symptoms of longer existing trends.
for me the internet is the main socializing tool, since very few people would talk to me face to face - probably put off by my (admittedly not very usual) appearance.

 

[dead]

well. i don't know i guess it's not about some sort of.... attempt to appear strange, although i guess that too is present in some way. things like expression, attitude, and environment also play a role. a heavily tattooed person in a similar environment would not, as a rule, cause as much strife and shock as a tiny tattoo on someone from a religious background, where similar things are just "not done", or in environments where certain appearances are perceived as negative, harmful, etc.

in my family, i am the first person in many, many, many generations to even think of getting one. you can imagine how it was received. luckily (or not), by that time my ties with my family were not close already. as to my surrounding now... i have to say that i am the most body modified person in the group, even if i can't say that i am even close to any kind of extreme in any way.

so... i don't know if it's worse. but i can say that for whatever reason - be it external or internal, there is a very noticeable gap.
in any case i can only blame myself. i cannot claim to be surrounded with un-understanding people, and i am luckier than most.

 

[thissideofdeath]

I think our new priest was most scared when he saw the vampire bite marks which are tattooed my neck. Lol, many of my tats are religious like a crucifix which goes from my right upper arm by my shoulder down to my wrist. I know what you mean though! First I get told I am lying about my age (no wrinkles or gray hair yet) and then I get the lectures about needed to grow up. Once they find out that I have been at all this piercing and tats since I was 14 which was way before they became common place they just shake their heads like I am the devil. The last priest took the time to get to know me and even said he thought I was more religious than he was which concerned me! So do you look like the smiley with the tongue hanging out? Just kidding...

well. i don't know i guess it's not about some sort of.... attempt to appear strange, although i guess that too is present in some way. things like expression, attitude, and environment also play a role. a heavily tattooed person in a similar environment would not, as a rule, cause as much strife and shock as a tiny tattoo on someone from a religious background, where similar things are just "not done", or in environments where certain appearances are perceived as negative, harmful, etc.

in my family, i am the first person in many, many, many generations to even think of getting one. you can imagine how it was received. luckily (or not), by that time my ties with my family were not close already. as to my surrounding now... i have to say that i am the most body modified person in the group, even if i can't say that i am even close to any kind of extreme in any way.

so... i don't know if it's worse. but i can say that for whatever reason - be it external or internal, there is a very noticeable gap.
in any case i can only blame myself. i cannot claim to be surrounded with un-understanding people, and i am luckier than most.