Church can be so abusive

[Jessica Jones]

Ok me and my guy broke up. He'd been wanting to come for supper and I finally asked over then he acted angry. Said yes then refused said he had plans to go eat somewhere else. It was because I and spouse broke up and I was slow getting over that. I just want to chop my hair off and go go go from one town to the other until I just collapse and die! And when I tried to tell the church they told me I had a one track mind. All I thought about was men. I don't even want to leave my apartment because he is rude to me. Everyone is rude and I just want to shave my head and become gay. I feel so ugly!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Is this guy two who was essentially stalking/harassing you? Seriously, you need to stay away from him, it will just be an abusive relationship and it sounds like you just got out of one. Break the cycle and take time to heal. When you are healed from your marriage breaking up, find a new guy. One that will treat you well.

As for the church, I can't say much because you didn't give a lot of details.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

Ok, so while I am not really a church person, (I have been in the past) I think that some members of a church (some not all) just believe that they are above everyone else. They sit there in what they believe is their perfect little relationship/world, feeling all superior and rather than help anyone out who is having problems just seem to tear them down even more. I'm sure that there are members of the church that can and will help you, you just have to find the ones willing to do this.

As for the rest, I think TheRealCallie put it best above.

 

[user 188685]

You just need to take your time to heal yourself,you don't need to be rushing from one relationship to the next.

 

[Jessica Jones]

Well it just sea the fiance ,wiho I met at a drug rehab type place, pursued me and then ghosted me after six months of seeing each other. I was devistated and it took a couple of years to get over even after I went away for almost a year. I grieved very deeply because now he was dating his girlfriend again, who left his life before rehab. So he got his dream girl back so he says I'm all kinds of ugly now. Meanwhile I lost my. apartment and became homeless and lost my vehicle too. So this really handsome man started waiting for me to wake up every morning (I was sleeping outside) and then in the morning he'd follow me to the coffee shop and we'd have coffee together. I became so I'll though that I ended up in the hospital with blood sepsis. When I got out o was there again I'm the park like ke before and he would show up in the coffee shop setimes before I got there. told him I loved him but I needed to go somewhere and take care of myself. And it would be a couple of years. He was so upset he slept outside the coffee shop where we used to meet until he trespassed himself on purpose. I did and still do love him but now that I'm better he doesn't act right towards me. And everyone else is making it their business, telling him I'm too old for him, women walking by raging. I'm so tired of it all I just want to go go go and run away for at least a year! He was so sweet when he wanted to be and now he just acts so offended and angry and I just want to go away and come back someay to find the sweet guy again that loved me.

You just need to take your time to heal yourself,you don't need to be rushing from one relationship to the next.

Yes that's what I told the guy that was following me to the coffee shop and waiting on me to wake up every morning. And now he just st want s me to o stay out and f his face.

 

[Jessica Jones]

Ok with the church they just want to accuse me of only thinking about me. The twoAnd we be th leading men in the church . I just need to stay away from them too. because they want to choose me of chasing him. Well yeah I was sort of but when I don't come see the guy he gets upset w/that too. But it seems w/the church they are jealous of my ministry and want to use this to bash me and say I'm not focussing on God. And I don't like these people who condemn me for wanting a companion all the while they get to enjoy a spouse and children.

 

[Jessica Jones]

Accuse me of only thinking about men

 

[user 188685]

Well it just sea the fiance ,wiho I met at a drug rehab type place, pursued me and then ghosted me after six months of seeing each other. I was devistated and it took a couple of years to get over even after I went away for almost a year. I grieved very deeply because now he was dating his girlfriend again, who left his life before rehab. So he got his dream girl back so he says I'm all kinds of ugly now. Meanwhile I lost my. apartment and became homeless and lost my vehicle too. So this really handsome man started waiting for me to wake up every morning (I was sleeping outside) and then in the morning he'd follow me to the coffee shop and we'd have coffee together. I became so I'll though that I ended up in the hospital with blood sepsis. When I got out o was there again I'm the park like ke before and he would show up in the coffee shop setimes before I got there. told him I loved him but I needed to go somewhere and take care of myself. And it would be a couple of years. He was so upset he slept outside the coffee shop where we used to meet until he trespassed himself on purpose. I did and still do love him but now that I'm better he doesn't act right towards me. And everyone else is making it their business, telling him I'm too old for him, women walking by raging. I'm so tired of it all I just want to go go go and run away for at least a year! He was so sweet when he wanted to be and now he just acts so offended and angry and I just want to go away and come back someay to find the sweet guy again that loved me.

Yes that's what I told the guy that was following me to the coffee shop and waiting on me to wake up every morning. And now he just st want s me to o stay out and f his face.

I'm so sorry

 

[The great pretender]

Ok me and my guy broke up. He'd been wanting to come for supper and I finally asked over then he acted angry. Said yes then refused said he had plans to go eat somewhere else. It was because I and spouse broke up and I was slow getting over that. I just want to chop my hair off and go go go from one town to the other until I just collapse and die! And when I tried to tell the church they told me I had a one track mind. All I thought about was men. I don't even want to leave my apartment because he is rude to me. Everyone is rude and I just want to shave my head and become gay. I feel so ugly!

Jessica, I have had a similar experience with church members. I think it's cruel and unGodly. You have to remember, church is not a sin-free place. There's no such thing. People are people.
I can also relate to how you feel about running away to another place to die. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
If I attend church, it's because I want to worship God, not get a boyfriend, although that would be nice too lol

 

[user 188522]

Hi JJ, you can run to other places; however, you can't run away from yourself. Do one small thing nice for yourself. Try to be kinder to yourself.

 

[dan27]

You expect alot from people that don't even know you.
It aint the church, or the guys...it is time to clean yourself up.
your priority is shelter & food.

a job would give you someself-esteem back.
What if you were pregnant right now?
What then?

Focus on YOU not lust.
Love is like a Million dollars...you have to earn it.

A guy is your ticket to more head games.
You aren't ready for it.

Self-harm indicates a lack of coping skills.
You need councelling, guidance, meds & determination to get healthy.
Mentally-physically-spiritually-financially..
NO BOOZE....NO DRUGS....NO LUST

Reach out to the local programs for help.
If you do not ask for it, you won't get any.

Tough Love is better than none, Sister

 

[August Campbell]

Certainly true that churches can be condemnatory and abusive. Especially when they insist that homosexuals go to Hell for eternity. I don't see what's evil about homosexuality, as long as it's consensual. Nowadays some churches even include teams that are trained to "Deprogram" homosexuals.