Considering Therapy

[LonelySutton]

Been considering it for a year or more. On the one hand:
- I have just a few friends who I don't 100% trust and due to that, I possibly push them away.
- I don't have much family, and they are estranged.
- Though, I don't think this is fair... I got labeled at work as having emotional problems (based on one incident were I was provoked).
- I feel like there probably a lot wrong with me that I never really discussed or worked around with anyone but me.

On the other hand:
- I never really trusted therapy or mental health treatment at all. I think most of it is bull.
- I don't really think there is anything wrong with me really... I think if I did go to a therapist.. likely I would either not be completely honest or I would get told there was nothing wrong with me.
- or I could just get a bad therapist who makes me feel there is something wrong.

Anyone gone to therapy? If so, what did you think.

 

[Case]

Anyone gone to therapy? If so, what did you think.

Therapy was the single greatest decision I ever made to deal with my behavioral issues. Without therapy, I would be far worse than I am right now.

We are all emotional beings, and we often act on instinct. Some of these instincts are bad for us and for other people. If we don't understand why we react, therapy is an excellent way to understand these areas of our thinking and it offers solutions to improve ourselves.

Therapy is not BS, as far as I am concerned. I am a testament to this. However, I understand that some people are not comfortable talking to a stranger about sensitive subjects, and others are simply not willing to change.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I tried it to save a marriage. I learned a lot about myself and my partner but the damage was done....luckily it helped us develop a pretty good friendship and avoid damaging Kid.

It's got its pluses but I don't think it'd be for me. Besides, I'm awesome, just ask around

LOL

 

[VeganAtheist]

You should definitely sign up for therapy, even if you don't think anything is wrong necessarily. At the very least, they could help you to improve upon yourself.
I think everyone is a bit... "damaged" in some way or another. I think therapy can help.

Yes, you will have to trust the therapist with personally painful stuff but it is worth it.

 

[Nicolelt]

I went, multiple times actually, for different problems. I still use some of the exercises my therapist told me about. Really helped me. If you feel like you need to go, then go. Only you can make that decision.

 

[Peaches]

Therapy (and therapists) saved my life, I guess : the first one helped me with panic attacks after a life-threatening accident, the second one helped me with mad suicidal heartbreak lasted 2 years, and with the third one I finally solved most of my family issues, and the three of them provided the only kind of father figure that I managed to have.

If there are many personal things that you cannot discuss with no one and worry you or create impediment, then talking with someone can help and you don't need to be very emotionally disturbed or anything to go, it is more about understanding yourself better and understanding what prevents you to be happy, if there is anything.

One thing: the therapist has to be good - if you feel even mildly uneasy, run. There are a lot of psychos around in the profession. If they already diagnose you after 20 minutes, or judge you in any way, or prescribe clearly unneeded medication, or say something that crosses your boundaries, or never talk for an hour, run. I know many people who dislike therapy in fact stumbled upon some bad therapist. The trick is never go back to the bad one, but not give up on looking for a good one. Personal recommendations are always the best.

 

[Rosebolt]

I've been in therapy for three years and i have mixed feelings about it. They can help you give a viewpoint that you didn't see yourself. The fact that they're at a distance helps.

However you must know what it is you want to work on before engaging with one. Just like with people in general, some psychs are horrible terror creatures, and some are good people. I believe that if you have no clear idea of what it is you want to fix, you have too great a danger of being misled into thinking you have all sorts of horrible stuff. I've seen it first hand, they're good at that, even the good people, since they genuinely believe they are helping.

 

[VeganAtheist]

However you must know what it is you want to work on before engaging with one. Just like with people in general, some psychs are horrible terror creatures, and some are good people. I believe that if you have no clear idea of what it is you want to fix, you have too great a danger of being misled into thinking you have all sorts of horrible stuff. I've seen it first hand, they're good at that, even the good people, since they genuinely believe they are helping.

Absolutely correct. You must know what you want to fix. They won't be very good figuring it out for you. You must be somewhat proactive too. For example, my therapist would go on these tangents that aren't applicable if I am not specific enough. I had to stop her and say "Yea, that's not the problem"

They are humans just like you. You have to work with them. And find one that fits you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I spoke to a pretty good therapist a few times when I was really really down in my life once. It helped me see the truth in the things I was facing. Things I couldn't bring myself to talk about with other people. She seemed to be quite spot on with her analysations about my feelings and emotions and most of the time I spent just crying from the things she's telling me about myself. It helped me a great deal to realise what was going on, what was I doing to myself and how much more damaging things would be in my life if I were to continue.

So I took her advice, and tried to work on myself from then. It took me only a few sessions with her because she was quite costly. :\

But it helped. I guess it really depends a lot on who you get and how good your therapist is. I've heard of some really bad ones or those who don't actually care about their patients.

 

[sk66rc]

Sometimes it's good to hear outsider's opinion and/view points on things... There's an old saying, "you might be too close to see the big picture"... Or as a buddy of mine put it, "Don't miss the donut by looking through it's hole"... Sometimes you might be too close to the problem to get an objective outlook on it & some of the therapists can point that out... More like looking at things with a fresh view...

 

[LonelySutton]

I believe that if you have no clear idea of what it is you want to fix, you have too great a danger of being misled into thinking you have all sorts of horrible stuff. I've seen it first hand, they're good at that, even the good people, since they genuinely believe they are helping.

I know a few people who have been ruined by a therapist... either by a bad one ... or even by a good one who is overzealous. Some people have been misdiagnosed (as almost every human behavior can be considered some psychological disorder) and by therapists who indicate you have an issue and are aggressive about what to do about it.

I have insurance for it (for 12 visits) as of right... so I was thinking about doing it but it always seems to get pushed back. I think because over all... I feel like I am ok.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm in a graduate Mental Health counseling program right now. In our last class my professor was talking about empathy and kindness in listening to others. I just did my first practice therapy session in which I had to grade myself in how I did. I wasn't given any training as it is to be used for a baseline for my future therapy videos in which I will be expected to show what I've learned and improve.

My self-assessment asked me what I felt I could improve upon, asked me to say how I felt with my opening of the session, and went over my body language (which can be open or closed). I said that I had fidgeted too much and had shown some closed body language. Closed body language apparently affects the client's comfort level in being able to disclose to the counselor.

The program's orientation empasized that our professors and fellow students are there to support each other (which so far has made it a warm environment to be in). It's forcing me to look at my own identity (and it's uncovering different identities I didn't know I had) and how it can conflict with my client if I am not careful.

...IMO, from what I can tell about the program so far, the profession of counseling (therapy) is not out to harm its clients. If one of the students in the program doesn't fit a long list of 20 disposition traits, they are remediated (meaning you have a sit down with your academic advisor, and you come up with a plan of how to change). Grades are only half of the program, your disposition alone can get you thrown out.

 

[Pike Creek]

I was in therapy for nearly 9 years total. In hindsight, I feel as though it was a waste of money, not mine, the insurance company. Once the insurance dried up, I never went back. This is my own experience and I'm not dissing therapy for those it helped. I feel as though my insurance paid the therapist to basically listen to me. Any advice he/she gave me over the years, well, I could have read that in a book. I was so unsatisfied I switched therapist 6 times. In the end what I needed was talk and time. I had nobody that I could trust, nor any friend who wanted to help so I was quite alone. I got everything out, time took care of the healing and in the end, I guess one could say it worked.

But...like others have suggested, it's very subjective. I don't think it'll hurt to give it a try. Self-help books were good for me too.

 

[lifestream]

I went to therapy for about nine months almost three years ago now.

I initially went from being unsure about my therapist to actively disliking her by the end. I felt then, as I do now, that she was far too quick to offer platitudes about mental health and question even the most innocuous things I did in my life than she was to offer actual counsel or advice but, because I'm quite a stubborn person, I refused to end our sessions first. When she failed to respond to my attempt to schedule an appointment one day, I took it as a sign that our "collaboration" was over. I've never looked back.

Perhaps the best advice I can give you regarding therapy, LonelySutton, is to work on a deadline. The minimum amount of time you spend in therapy being six months, the maximum eighteen. I've known people over the years who have been in therapy for the lion's share of a decade and were riddled with all sorts of disruptive complexes and neuroses. As several other posters have shrewdly observed, therapists, even the ones who have your best interests at heart, have a very particular way of making you think that your problems are worse than they actually are. They are, after all, running a business, so it's in their own interests to sow the seeds of unease and self-doubt in you in order to ensure your continued custom.

I have a high opinion of mental health practices, by the way. Mental health practicioners, not so much.

 

[LonelySutton]

On the one hand I feel like it would be helpful to have someone to listen to me... on the other hand, I feel like I will just get frustrated and upset when the inevitable platitudes come out of their mouth. I also just do not trust that what is said is actually confidential. But lately I have had a really hard time really just getting anything done. And maybe owe it to myself just to try it. One or two visits. Still working on it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

It is actually confidential (Unless you say you are abusing a child or want to kill someone/yourself). With my practice session I made sure to erase all traces of the session on the computer lab computer once I was done.

 

[LonelySutton]

It is actually confidential (Unless you say you are abusing a child or want to kill someone/yourself).

If say, in five years... I commence suit, against my employer and part of my allegation is the emotional abuse I was suffering at the hands of my boss, it is possible I would be ordered to turn over those records -- or, not put the claim in. A few years ago, I went to a regular doctor about a foot issue. I had him write a letter for my employer... without my knowledge, my employer called and wanted "clarification" and the doctor went into more detail about my diagnosis.. without ever telling me or seeking my permission. You think... so what... but if it were perceived by something that he said that my condition was not as serious as I had been making it out... well...

So basically I do not believe in the complete secret nature of what is said forever and ever.

 

[SophiaGrace]

That doctor violated HIPPA from what my limited understanding of the law is.

Sorry you had that experience.

 

[Pike Creek]

It is actually confidential (Unless you say you are abusing a child or want to kill someone/yourself). With my practice session I made sure to erase all traces of the session on the computer lab computer once I was done.

I went into therapy thinking that the confidentiality of it would be solid, but unfortunately I can give an example where that wasn't true. I was on medical benefits due to a work injury. I was seeing a therapist and she asked what I was up to. So, I told her I went to the local casino with a friend the weekend before because my friend wanted to celebrate her birthday and my therapist had encouraged me to go out and be social. I told her I lost $40 on the slot machines and left myself a little short to pay a certain bill. No big deal, everyone does that once in a while. I was clear to her that I'd catch up to the bill on my next pay.

Next thing I know, I'm called in by the workman's comp saying my therapist believes I have a gambling problem and that they were worried about it.

How does going to a casino ONCE in my life (seriously once) lead to a gambling problem, because I'm in therapy then I MUST have some kind of weakness and addiction? Lots of people waste their $40 on cigarettes, drugs or booze EVERY day...and I go and play the slots once and to this therapist I was addicted to gambling...This situation turned me off therapy completely. I fired the therapist and didn't go back to a new one until I was recommended to her by a close friend. But you can believe I never revealed anything too personal ever again.

But you know, others have had good experiences...that's why it's so subjective.

 

[LonelySutton]

That doctor violated HIPPA from what my limited understanding of the law is.

And what was I going to do about it? Commence suit? And that is how records really are not to be trusted as confidential. I work in a place where records can be turned over voluntarily to me and those records are usually sent with out any regard as to what might be turned over. One time someone sent OBGYN records that were supposed to be for 1 year but we got the entire file. I just do not trust it.

Plus, is it me, or have you ever looked at your medical file? IMHO my records are completely wrong. I have asked them to delete the wrong stuff but they won't... in their minds, if my doctor wrongly threw out a diagnosis, that turned out to have no basis, it still should be part of the record... but imho it shouldn't.