Crying alone

[Jalmerk]

So for the last months, my girlfriend of over 2 years, the love of my life has been growing distant. She says I'm boring, and she tells me she doesnt know whether she loves me or not. I try so hard just to keep her happy, and to keep my spirits up, but she doesnt seem to care about me at all. It's been getting worse, and i just want her to ask about my day, or to comfort me when im down. Most of all i want her to be sorry if she hurts me. But it seems she doesnt regret anything shes done to me, or said to me. Im having a nervous breakdown, because the only person i feel i could trust, the only person i can or want to go to, doesnt give a damn about my problems, no matter how much i try to make her feel good. And on top of everything i feel like she is just looking for stuff to argue about, and to hurt me with, for example, she is asking me for advice on how to deal with a guy who seems to be in love with her, and all along she was just excited about it, and i took up the courage to say something along the lines of "He's definitly interested, but you aren't right?" and she goes "Maybe i am". I was speechless. The person i love the most, who i truly thought loved me, is standing infront of my face, asking me for advice on how to deal with a guy she might be interested in. And on top of everything, right now she is out with that very guy in a club, and she just texted me that she's been eating mushrooms, even though I'm straight egde (don't drink don't smoke) and i thought she had committed to the same lifestyle, and sure she can do what she wants, but i dont understand how she could do that when she knows how much it means to me, and shes told me she would never do that. I feel betrayed, and hurt, and i have never been so lonely. Do you know what it feels like when the only person in the world that you expect to be able to lean on isnt there for you? i feel like a cripple, who's fallen on the sidewalk, and shes just standing there talking to someone else ignoring my cries for help. But still i love her over everything in the world, still i think that this isn't he,r this isnt what she is really like, and leaving her wouldnt make me feel any better about anything, because she wasn't like this before, she is the love of my life, but she is not by my side..

I just don't know what to do other than lie on the floor sobbing, she has managed to break me down, and i am one of the mentally strongest people you will find, nothing could break me down until she came along.

I don't feel like dying, i will never stop trying, but i just want to go back into my little bubble, where she is the loving caring girl she used to be

 

[spectacles]

Hi Jalmerk,
She definitely doesnt know how it is to feel lonely... I wish somebody loved me that way. If she is telling u that she doesnt know if she loves u or not and besides she is hanging out with this guy, she doesnt deserve ur love. I cant give u any advice really. Unfortunatelly if u love her, its gonna be painful. We dont have control over our feelings...

 

[SophiaGrace]

Well she's obviously moved on if she is eyeing other guys. I'm sorry you have to go through this though.

 

[Joseph]

Typical.

Read This.

 

[VanillaCreme]

That alpha male stuff is for guys who are insecure about themselves.

But, to the OP, people change. And you can't expect them not to. You may be dedicated and never change your mind, and that's fine, but other people are entitled to change their mind. It may hurt, and it may be sad and even break your heart, but if she doesn't want to be how she used to be, there's nothing you can do. You just kind of have to move on. And it's going to be hard, believe me, I know, but there's nothing you can really do. Perhaps try and talk to her, but don't expect her to change back.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

This sounds exactly like my situation with my current, except he isn't crying all the time about our issues. It sounds like this girl might care less about you than I do about my own, and really like she's using you. Are you passive, and maybe a bit of a follower? You fell in love with her, she found your company convenient, and now she wants a confident man by her side instead of a limp noodle. Find some confidence, stop making pathetic attempts to "make her happy" and go MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!

In the end, the only one who really cares about your happiness is you.

 

[Blue Bob]

Hey Jalmerk,
Unfortunately some people will not leave a relationship until they find another one. They're afraid to be alone. I've been where you are. For that reason I will never start another relationship while I'm in one.
You might be able to win her back. You need to show her that you are strong and confident, not desperate. Be like you were when you first hooked up with her. You might even show her some disinterest so she feels that she's losing you.
My experience tells me that she will always be like this with whomever she is with. Think hard about that. If you keep her, you might end up on a roller coaster ride.
Good luck and stay strong.

 

[tangerinedream]

She's faithless and torturing you. There is likely nothing you can do to bring her back, and really, would you want to? If she can pull that stuff once, she is fully capable of pulling it again.

As hard as it is to let a relationship go, and yes, you will go through the same grieving stages as you would when mourning a death, just break it off and move on. Think of your own mental, emotional and spiritual health, because it is clear that they are of no concern to her.

Also, don't be surprised if, when you make a bold move like kicking her out of your life, if she does an about-face and professes her love and faith etc blah blah bah. Don't be fooled. That is what a master manipulator does - makes sure that he or sh always has the upper hand and the final say in whether or not a relationship lives or dies.

Just cut her out of your life. It gets better eventually.

 

[alonenow]

"You might be able to win her back. You need to show her that you are strong and confident, not desperate. Be like you were when you first hooked up with her. You might even show her some disinterest so she feels that she's losing you. "

I agree with this advice here. Ignore her completely, do not even take her calls. She is taking you for granted and while one day she might regret it, you can still have her back.

You will have her back if you show disinterest, but mate, think about this, does she deserve you ?