Did he mean anything by it? Men your interpretation?

[septicemia]

Ok, so I have this problem where I find myself sexually attracted to a lot of different men, and think that most men are attracted to me, and simultaneously know thats not true and can only assume (by the total lack of *** I have had in recent years) that most men are repulsed by me. Its quite conflicting and not being able to read mens intentions unless they are quite obvious about it leaves me really insecure and unsure where I stand with men and how to relate, and often I just dont even want to because of what I go through inside lol.

Anyway, I talked to my new neighbor for the 2nd time yesterday, hes been there for a couple months. Hes pretty cute, close to my age (hes probably early-mid 30s), and married (boo). The 1st time we talked was for like 2 mins. Yesterday we talked for 10-15 or so. I wasnt dressed up or anything and he asked "So you got a hot date tonight?" Course I said no lol. Then a bit later he asked how long out of high school was I. I laughed good at that, told him 10 years and he was like "No way, I would have never guessed that! You look much younger" hahaha, nice! I dunno, it felt like he was flirting, but then I dont know if thats just me being attracted to him and not being able to read the situation well or what. Dont worry, I dont **** where I sleep. Enough people in the neighborhood already dont like me for various reasons (if people would take proper care of their animals, I wouldnt have to get the police involved dang it!) I dont want to be known for being a skank too! So it is important for me to be able to read the situation so I am careful to not be too friendly with him or anything. Or I dunno, maybe I do want to **** his brains out given half the chance lmao. So what do you think, sound totally innocent, maybe a little flirting? Cant tell? hahaha

Oddly, the couple who lived there previously, I was also attracted to him and there was mad sexual tension between us. They were a good christian couple, the good kind who just tried to live well and not really worry about what others were doign as long as no one was getting hurt, but you know we all have our demons. Though I was quite attracted to the man, his wife was such a wonderful person and I liked her enough that I felt relatively safe with myself that I wouldnt let him cheat with me if he dared to be so cruel to her. She went out of the country once on mission work, and about half way through her time gone he came over to visit and I razzed him about if he was starved half to death and needed laundry done yet or not. He said something like he had all taht covered but a married man has needs he is used to having met most every night, and then in the next few sentences loosely asked me over for dinner later in the week and left it that he would just come get me after the time he knows I get home ever night. He knew he was a naughty boy, and I knew he was a naughty boy because I didnt see him again until long after she got home from the trip hahaha.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Needs my ***. *rolls eyes*

 

[Luna]

(Sorry, I'm not a man)

But IMO, it could be one of the following:

1. Simply an innocent comment
2. He would take you up, if you give him the opportunity

For the latter, a lot of the time, people start off seemingly "innocent".
They flirt, chat, spend more one-on-one time with you, soon the "outside person" starts gaining attachment towards the married person, the outside person starts making excuses for him/herself such as "We're just friends" "There's nothing wrong with what we're doing" and next thing you know, one thing leads to another.
"Perceived opportunity is a significant factor in extramarital sexual affairs. This is in accordance with a more general tendency of ours: we tend to be drawn to those who show signs of friendliness and cooperation." (Pulled it from Psychology Today)

 

[Badjedidude]

I'd say he was flirting with you, no question about it.

I know so because the first thing I do when I meet an attractive woman is to try to figure out her age. lol... and if I can do it subtly or by complimenting her, then so much the better!

If you're wanting to avoid social conflict (broken marriage, angry neighbors, gossip, etc), I'd suggest staying away from him.

 

[septicemia]

Thanks all! Your input is greatly appreciated!

Wandering Stranger thats for sure! I have commitment and intimacy issues, and much prefer to be with men who I know I cant get attached to. Thats why, I dont want to ruin things for me in my neighborhood.

Luna I get what you are saying, but really people can just be friends too, right? lol Of course its never perceived so innocently. I know maybe not so much for men, but dang it, I deserve the respect of just having a friendship with a man lol.

Baddude thanks. I likely will try to stay away.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
For once I agree with Wandering Stranger
There's plenty of single guys out there. If you have guys flirting with you then you have something guys want. But married men? Forget about it. Any married guy that flirts with me gets the cold shoulder. I don't date or sleep with cheaters.

-Teresa

 

[Luna]

Thanks all! Your input is greatly appreciated!

Wandering Stranger thats for sure! I have commitment and intimacy issues, and much prefer to be with men who I know I cant get attached to. Thats why, I dont want to ruin things for me in my neighborhood.

Luna I get what you are saying, but really people can just be friends too, right? lol Of course its never perceived so innocently. I know maybe not so much for men, but dang it, I deserve the respect of just having a friendship with a man lol.

Baddude thanks. I likely will try to stay away.

It is difficult for many to carry a platonic relationship with a committed person, especially if there is even a hint of attraction involved.

For myself, I know where to draw the line and I draw it early. There is no harm in being friendly with a committed person, or to chat them now and then. Perhaps being an acquaintance would be better, rather than a "close friend" who you want to be with all the time.

I am not stating you, but rather people in general.

What usually happens is:

1. Innocent friendship starts through casual conversation and flirting
2. You start spending some time with them "hanging out"
(Committed person may or may not disclose details to partner; or may bring the partner for a hang-out together)
3. You start spending one-on-one time with them, sharing personal details and "bonding"
4. Your feelings/ attraction grows
5. Later on, the committed person starts having complications in his relationship (possibly fueled by husband/ wife's neglect, or partner's anger towards your friendship or any other issues etc)
6. He/ She comes running to you for help and you comfort him
(Then you reassure their anger towards their partner, and may say variations of: "Ohhh...I am so sorry that your partner treats you that way. You can do so much better than him/ her. You are great, attractive, a wonderful person etc." starts in, and you end up comforting him/ her and wishing that you should show them the light ("light", being "you"))
7. He/ She comes to you more often, and you kiss, possibly **** in the height of your emotions
8. Welcome to Cheatersville
(For physical contract, but perhaps the committed person was already emotionally cheating right from the beginning)

After you arrive, there are many routes you could take. It could be one of the following:
1. Justifying that you did no wrong as the other person was the committed one and you're a free agent; the relationship was doomed anyway; his/ her needs were not met
2. Continue your affair; continue in hopes on being chosen over the partner
3. And many, many, more tales of disaster to further continue...

I have seen people in love.
"Those people", the very few couples that I can only count on my one hand, see their partner not only as a "partner" or a lover, but as their best friends. While they would have fun with any other ordinary friend; it just...isn't as fun as it would be with their best friend. Their eyes light up when they talk about their partner and it is always what they talk about. It may seem ludicrous to the ordinary person, but I have seen it (and it freaks me out haha).

There are plenty other men out there that can be your friend. If you start stressing over how you cannot be friends with this one particular man, I would say that your feelings are more than that of a platonic friendship.

Do not take any offense; I am simply speaking from my observation of others.

 

[shells]

I agree with Luna 100%.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm not a man, but I'm just giving my perspective on this.

I think it was just nice, light conversation. If it was anything more, like flirting or him even considering getting in bed with you at all, should put a red X over his face instantly... at least to me. He's married. Period. Maybe if he were single, I'd think of it differently. But it's pretty low to cheat on your spouse for a booty call or one night stand. It's even more so a disgrace if he ever thinks you to be his girlfriend on the side.

 

[septicemia]

Thanks for the input everyone

 

[Pair-O-Dox]

Luna said it well, so I'll be brief. There is something there, and he's most likely just probing you to see if there's a chance for him before a goes out on a limb. As well as laying the foundation for future progression. You just need to avoid the situation totally and take advantage of being single.

Wandering stranger was also right in this and that there are plenty of single men out there and it doesn't seem like you have any trouble attracting them anyway . Go get em' you sly devil you Hahaha

 

[septicemia]

Haha, thats the problem. I NEVER attract decent single men lmao. Murphys law I guess.

 

[Luna]

Haha, thats the problem. I NEVER attract decent single men lmao. Murphys law I guess.

Personally, I've given up on attracting decent single men.
Instead, I prefer capturing my prey...

 

[Matej]

Haha, thats the problem. I NEVER attract decent single men lmao. Murphys law I guess.

Personally, I've given up on attracting decent single men.
Instead, I prefer capturing my prey...

Are you trying to say I'm not decent?

 

[Luna]

Haha, thats the problem. I NEVER attract decent single men lmao. Murphys law I guess.

Personally, I've given up on attracting decent single men.
Instead, I prefer capturing my prey...

Are you trying to say I'm not decent?

You're not decent.

...
















You're MORE than decent and one of the very few exceptions...
That I consider to be SUPERCALLIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!

****squishhug for you. (d)​

 

[Badjedidude]

Where the hell is MY ****squishhug? (un)

 

[Matej]

You're not decent.

...
















You're MORE than decent and one of the very few exceptions...
That I consider to be SUPERCALLIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!

****squishhug for you. (d)​

Awww

Marry me!​

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's not one perticular thing.

mmmm...its a common challenge most men have. I have or had.
If I get one....I get them all
Becuase married men provide securities. (being the provider or care taker.)

And there's that little competition going in your head. "whats that ***** got that I can't do"lol
A little bit of control...here and there. But it's all good.
And ..he must be a pretty good loving guy if that woman is willing to marry him. There must be something good about him.

It's also the rush of excitement of being naughty, not behaving or voodoo.

And of course being sexually fustrated.

There's really nothing wrong with you. The feelings or thoughts that you are experincing are
natual. Thou the role or mole of society might not agree with ya.

Of course you know and I know...if you were to participate with me...I"ll kiss and wont tell.
I wont damage your reputation. It wouldnt be gentalmanly of me.

A single guy might seem boring and insecure to you.
However....i can be ur badboy cuz badgirls excites me. (it'll be our secret)
Screw Vegas....what happens in ur bedroom stays in your bedroom
Or maybe out in the country during the day on top of a car...there's a 50/50 chance we might get caught.
Or maybe on a rock out in nature. Maybe on a secluded beach..where people can watch from a distance but still cant identify ya.
Better yet....in your parent's bed. Maybe on the copy machine after work.

mmmmm...innocent church attending, teacher's pet, goodie too shoes girls used to ignore me during the day
as if I wasn't alive.
They used to sit on my lap at parties at night.

I wanna be Luna's prey

As I said..theres nothing wrong with ya. Yes men flirt with you...that's also becuase you're in heat.
Your body is releasing pharamons. You have no control over this..it's natural for your body to do this. it is what it is.
Screw all that guilt moral value ********. Why would you condem yourself for something that your body dose narturally?

Don't trip. You're a smart woman that will make healthy chioces. We all have tempations.

You'll attract single decent men. Just change your beliefs.
We live in accordance to our beliefs.

Maybe write about your childhood....maybe write about your mother's relationship with men.
Maybe some dude broke your mother's heart...then she past on the beliefs that all single guys are ******** or not decent.

Maybe write about the relationship you have with your father or lack there of.
It might help you unlock some of your old beliefs or unworkable beliefs.

Example...if you were emotionally abandent by your father as a child...you'll subconsiously
seek men later on in life the will leave you emtionally abandent.
What this dose is retriggers the unresolves anger you have inside of you.
Your current situations (you created) as unhealthy as it maybe...brings up feelings you burried deep inside of you.
At this juncture...it's an opportunity for you to resolve your anger or whatever unresovled issues you had.
If not..you'll simply put yourself in the sametype of situations over and over again until that anger is resolved at a subconsious level.
Married men will leave you physically, emotionally abandent.
Do a little bit of reserch on codependency or toxic relationships...it's really common.

Ignore all the negative ******** about you being undecent or a bad person. All that's going to do is eat away at your self-esteem.
By all means...don't beat up on yourself.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Where the hell is MY ****squishhug? (un)

I want one too! T_T and BJD doesnt have any ****s to squish.

So luna...i need a **** squish from you! *puppy eyes*

 

[septicemia]

Lonesome Crow, you are a wise man, and I am guessing you are a great lay too You really hit on some very real points.