Did I missread her?

[DancePolice]

So about a year ago I started volunteering for a group that fed the hungry every week. I mainly started doing this to get out the house more as I was severely depressed.

So first day goes by and I just introduce myself to those there. nothing much happened really. more interested in doing what im there to do. I end up volunteering to pick up food for cooking weekly and end up helping the group out a lot with getting more rations of food.


things were going well in the group and i wasnt feeling so depressed as before. I enjoyed going to volunteer as everyone there was very nice. was talking to the people in the group about my week and all..feeling personable once again.

there was this one girl who seemed to be a little nicer to me than the other girls. Usually after we finished up volunteering a group of people would go and get a midnight snack(we really did end at midnight). well this girl invites me. didnt really think much at first, just thought that it was thoughtful of her and agreed to meet them there.we do this for a few weeks and ended up geting to know the people in the group better. she would give me a hug goodbye and invited me to her house a few times. suggested that we carpool together to volunteer. Intoduced some of her friends to me. Basically, did enough stuff for me to say "maybe shes interested in me?" I found her attractive but that alone isnt a reason for me to go out with someone. So i thought about it. I would like to get to know her better and i enjoyed being around her. she was cheerful, artistic, short like me . So I ended up deciding to ask her out

so the next time I saw her I decided to ask her. I was taking her to her house after we volunteered and just asked her flat out "hey, would you like to go out sometime soon?" she says shes not interested in seeing anyone at the time. and she jolts to her door.

Okay, I can accept that. it hurts that she said no and kinda hurt that she ran away, but she probably felt uncomfortable so I dont really blame her for that. But i respect her decision. totally fine. i woulnt want to go out with someone if i wasnt interested either.

so of course i end up hearing less from her. I get a message on facebook asking "why dont we hang out anymore"...okay. i said ive been busy but that im not busy during the weekend....nothing..

just kinda bugging me. ive never been great with girls and it took a lot to ask her out. it really did seem like she was interested but guess i was wrong. i would have much rather have stayed friends with her and still would like to be friends with her.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Okay, I can accept that. it hurts that she said no and kinda hurt that she ran away, but she probably felt uncomfortable so I dont really blame her for that. But i respect her decision. totally fine. i woulnt want to go out with someone if i wasnt interested either.

so of course i end up hearing less from her. I get a message on facebook asking "why dont we hang out anymore"...okay. i said ive been busy but that im not busy during the weekend....nothing..

just kinda bugging me. ive never been great with girls and it took a lot to ask her out. it really did seem like she was interested but guess i was wrong. i would have much rather have stayed friends with her and still would like to be friends with her.

You're right, it took a lot of courage to do that. Keep trying with other girls you're interested in, someone is going to say yes
Idea: she liked you but not in that way (maybe).... then she thought of you and had temporary amnesia about how she was the one who (it sounds like) initiated the withdrawal.

I've gotten this before. Or people will say, "omg we should totally hang out!" then I'm like, "sure! what times are u free next week? I've got blah blah open" then I won't hear from them for a month when they tell me their i.e. crappy band is playing. It's like, "we don't hang out because you can't be bothered to make plans, or really want to see me, or tell me that you're not available at those times. And I think your band is crappy and you take that personally."

 

[PlayingSolo]

She may have just wanted to be friends. Nothing that you said really screams that she was intereated, I think. As far as her reaction, maybe she just thinks it would be awkward around you, knowing that you're potentially interested in her. It doesn't sound like a very uncommon reaction honestly. I've never been in your situation, but my advice would be maybe you should just flat out ask her what's wrong and why she's being so distant, and if you can still be friends and hang out like you used to.

 

[Veilside05]

she left you a facebook message - "why dont we hang out anymore"
Is that not a hint that she wants to hang out together? Or am I reading it wrongly?

 

[perfanoff]

Any possibility she was interested but actually getting a date scared her and and sent her running for the hills?

 

[DancePolice]

thanks for the responses.
Veilside05: i did message her back but never heard back..even tried later that week and still nothing.

perfanoff: it might have been a possibility but thinking of my past, she probably just wanted to be friends like others are saying.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I got tired of being shot down by women so I don't even remotely suggest anything other than friendship. Easier to stay in the friend zone than to ostracize them by suggesting more when you know you're going to get rejected.

 

[DancePolice]

I got tired of being shot down by women so I don't even remotely suggest anything other than friendship. Easier to stay in the friend zone than to ostracize them by suggesting more when you know you're going to get rejected.

kinda hard to admit but it seems true. I have no problem getting in the friend zone. and i really cant ask for more when i meet very few people.