Diggers and Climbers

[Case]

We all have the capability to dig ourselves into the deepest possible symbolic and metaphoric, emotional hole, deeper than any physical hole humans could possibly create. We think that these holes give us shelter from the world, shelter from the teasing or rejection, and protection from the pain, but it's a prison of lies that we build for ourselves. And sometimes, it becomes our grave. It's also inhabited by a host of evil voices who want us to fail, who feed off our lack of effort, who hunger for our surrender.

Yes. Our surrender.

But there is hope. Amazing diggers that we may be, we also have the ability to climb and escape this dark trap. No matter how deep we dig our personal holes, we can find our way out of the gorge. Millions of others have climbed out of holes far deeper than ours. WHY CAN'T WE? So, step by step, handhold by handhold, we can get out of the hole and step back into the light. Sometimes, it can take a single day to surge like a rocket ship out of the cave and see the light of day. In other cases, it may take months, and sometimes, even years.

The question is, are we diggers or are we climbers?

In my life, I've had some really "low" points. I'm not one to measure metaphorical **** sizes in the "How bad do YOU have it?" game of nonsense, but let's just say that I know the abyss. I know the darkness, and I've dug my share of impressive holes in my day. I also hear the voices. And they want me badly. Oh, do they ever want me to join them in that black void. They say whatever they can to get me to dig, even trying to trick me into digging that hole once again. Appealing to some twisted logic by tricking me into thinking I'm worthless when I'm not.

So, I resist, and I climb out of the hole, and I fill it with dirt until it's smooth. Though I'm out of my hole, I am always feeling that sickening pull to start digging again, to join my "friends" in the abyss, to escape into the darkness. But I deny them. I deny them because to surrender to them means my death. To surrender to them is my greatest fear, and would be my greatest failure.

I cannot afford to be a digger. I'm a ******* climber, and I got out of that hole because I'm a badass mother-(shut your mouth.) I will escape the voices trying to keep me down, stomp on my face, tell me I'm nothing, tell me I'm a worthless piece of ****, and no matter what gets in my way, no matter what lies they tell me, I will prevail, I WILL overcome it, and I will be free. Because I am stronger than these voices think I am. And I will win by staying above the ground and away from their influence FOREVER.

We've all heard the phrase "misery loves company," and it's very true. The voices... they want our company. Misery loves company, indeed. But the opposite is also true, and the opposite of misery is far, far better than believing in the voices that are determined to destroy us.

Time to live above ground for a change.

 

[ladyforsaken]

That's quite inspirational, what you've written.

I'm trying to be a climber and live above ground too, myself.

I wish you all the best in your journey ahead in life.

 

[Tiina63]

I like this post very much. It touches on what I am dealing with now, and I am going to copy it to my hard drive. Often I feel that I am the only one who has certain people to try to hold me back and box me into a narrow little world, but reading your post makes me realise that this is more common than I would have thought.
Met my new neighbour some weeks ago and she is also trying to climb from the abyss. It makes me wonder if the old saying is true, that when we are on the verge of changing our life, God/fate/what you believe in, brings people i nto our lives who also want to climb upwards.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I was a digger for most of my life. Then briefly started climbing, only to start digging again. Now, I'm neither at the moment because my own life isn't the main thing right now. Nice post though, anyway.