Do girls really, deep down, want guys to approach them?

[ardour]

Not sure if I posted anything about this: but I don't mind if men were to approach me. But I'm also the type of girl who likes to approach guys too. You never see that much, it's usually woman waiting for men to approach them. Why not have a woman approach a guy once in awhile. If I'm really interested I'll approach them right off the bat..

Go you!

 

[Mike413]

[Would it help anything if I went into the bar wearing "cat ears" on the top of my head?

What about pink shoes? Good or bad?]

It would help you get beat up by these guys you are trying to avoid yeah. If you dress normally then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Something tells me you are just trying to be a pain in the ass now. I don't even know why I even bother trying to help you(insert rolly eyes here).

---

Not sure if I posted anything about this: but I don't mind if men were to approach me. But I'm also the type of girl who likes to approach guys too. You never see that much, it's usually woman waiting for men to approach them. Why not have a woman approach a guy once in awhile. If I'm really interested I'll approach them right off the bat. But if I feel like I have no chance I usually study them from a far away distance until I have the courage to do so.

Wow. It sounds like you are anything but a "wallflower girl." It sounds like you have the best of both worlds here. You don't mind a guy approaching you but you also have enough self confidence and bravery to approach a guy. Most women just don't do that for whatever reason. Good for you. It's not something that really happens to me but I wouldn't mind it if it did. Some women seem to think it makes them seem cheap or desperate but I don't think so. I doubt many guys would think that either.

---

[Come up to us more often, we also like attention (so long as you're not just fooling around or playing us for laughs.) ]

Dude, they don't want to approach you for the same reason you won't approach them! Get off your lazy ass and go talk to some women already!!!!! Geez. Don't be such a wuss.

 

[Batman55]

Not sure if I posted anything about this: but I don't mind if men were to approach me. But I'm also the type of girl who likes to approach guys too. You never see that much, it's usually woman waiting for men to approach them. Why not have a woman approach a guy once in awhile. If I'm really interested I'll approach them right off the bat. But if I feel like I have no chance I usually study them from a far away distance until I have the courage to do so.

May I ask what constitutes an approach for you?

Do you smile and then say hi? Then based on the response he gives you, you decide whether to start a conversation?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Some do. Some don't.

I think the main reason why more girls don't approach is that, simply, they don't have to. If they look nice, they can act all flirty, and the guy will make the first move.

 

[Mike413]

I suppose it's a chicken or egg thing to a degree. Women won't make the first move because they know they don't have to or because they know guys will approach them first. Or maybe it's just not in their nature to or maybe they've just been conditioned not to. It could be a bunch of these reasons.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*snorts*
OR....
Could it be that..... *gasp* women have the SAME EXACT fears that men do when it comes to approaching someone?

What a novel concept.

 

[Revengineer]

*snorts*
OR....
Could it be that..... *gasp* women have the SAME EXACT fears that men do when it comes to approaching someone?

What a novel concept.

That may be true, but women in general are not encouraged to overcome those fears, at least not to the same extent as men. It's a great thing that more women are taking the initiative, but the social convention still exists whether we admit it or not.

There has always been more pressure on the guy to "man up" and do the asking. I suppose it's one of those double standards that'll never truly go away... at least not in our lifetimes.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*snorts*
OR....
Could it be that..... *gasp* women have the SAME EXACT fears that men do when it comes to approaching someone?

What a novel concept.

That may be true, but women in general are not encouraged to overcome those fears, at least not to the same extent as men. It's a great thing that more women are taking the initiative, but the social convention still exists whether we admit it or not.

There has always been more pressure on the guy to "man up" and do the asking. I suppose it's one of those double standards that'll never truly go away... at least not in our lifetimes.

lol, I don't disagree with your notion - quite the opposite.
I do take exception to some of the remarks I've seen that seem to imply that females don't do the approaching because they "don't have to."

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I do take exception to some of the remarks I've seen that seem to imply that females don't do the approaching because they "don't have to."

Some don't. Some just have natural sex appeal.

Some guys don't have to approach, either. Women approach them. That is not the guys on this forum, though, because we've generally had the unpleasant experience of women not wanting anything to do with us.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

I do take exception to some of the remarks I've seen that seem to imply that females don't do the approaching because they "don't have to."

Some don't. Some just have natural sex appeal.

Some guys don't have to approach, either. Women approach them. That is not the guys on this forum, though, because we've generally had the unpleasant experience of women not wanting anything to do with us.

Please don't generalize. Thank you.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I do take exception to some of the remarks I've seen that seem to imply that females don't do the approaching because they "don't have to."

Some don't. Some just have natural sex appeal.

Some guys don't have to approach, either. Women approach them. That is not the guys on this forum, though, because we've generally had the unpleasant experience of women not wanting anything to do with us.

Please don't generalize. Thank you.

It's generalizing to say that some people have sex appeal? Really?

Definition of sex appeal:

sex ap·peal
noun
1.
the quality of being attractive in a sexual way.
"she just oozes sex appeal"
synonyms: sexiness, seductiveness, desirability, sensuality, sexuality; More

 

[ardour]

Some don't. Some just have natural sex appeal.

Some guys don't have to approach, either. Women approach them. That is not the guys on this forum, though, because we've generally had the unpleasant experience of women not wanting anything to do with us.

Please don't generalize. Thank you.

Translation: please don't generalize in a way I happen not to like or agree with.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

I do take exception to some of the remarks I've seen that seem to imply that females don't do the approaching because they "don't have to."

Some don't. Some just have natural sex appeal.

Some guys don't have to approach, either. Women approach them. That is not the guys on this forum, though, because we've generally had the unpleasant experience of women not wanting anything to do with us.

Please don't generalize. Thank you.

It's generalizing to say that some people have sex appeal? Really?

Definition of sex appeal:

sex ap·peal
noun
1.
the quality of being attractive in a sexual way.
"she just oozes sex appeal"
synonyms: sexiness, seductiveness, desirability, sensuality, sexuality; More

Hmm...I suppose I should have been more specific, please do not say that all men on this website have had an unpleasant experience of women not wanting to approach us. That doesn't take into account the various experiences and lifestyles represented on this forum as well as reveals a narrow minded view from a vocal majority.

And as long as you objectify women by saying "she has sex appeal." You will have issues talking with said women. Good luck!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm not objecting anyone. I'm making an analysis of the situation.

But I'm sorry for objecting everyone on the forum. It's true that a lot of people here have had experiences that I've never had.

 

[ardour]

And as long as you objectify women by saying "she has sex appeal." You will have issues talking with said women. Good luck!

Stating a person is attractive is "objectifying"

What about when women speak of men being "cute"? That one would fly right under the radar, a double standard falling under the 'male oppressor/female helpless victim' first principle.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Settle down, gentleman, lol.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

And as long as you objectify women by saying "she has sex appeal." You will have issues talking with said women. Good luck!

Stating a person is attractive is "objectifying"

What about when women speak of men being "cute"? That one would fly right under the radar.

Me thinks this double standard falls under the 'male oppressor/women helpless victim' first principle of feminism.

Sex appeal does not equal attractive to everyone. So yes, some people see it as objectifying when you say such a thing - I highly doubt that anyone likes to be told what they are and are not. Even if you personally think it is a positive it may not be seen that way by the one you are subjecting to your...thought process.

As for the subject of feminism, if you do not understand what something is you should probably not talk about it because it makes your argument weaker.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Dammit. I said settle down. :club:

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Dammit. I said settle down. :club:

Don't make me objectify you lol

 

[EveWasFramed]

Dammit. I said settle down. :club:

Don't make me objectify you lol

Bring it. I will school you like you're a kindergartener.