Do girls really, deep down, want guys to approach them?

[ghbarnaby2]

Dammit. I said settle down. :club:

Don't make me objectify you lol

Bring it. I will school you like you're a kindergartener.

That would actually be pretty awful....LOL

 

[EveWasFramed]

That would actually be pretty awful....LOL

Then mind your manners, Mister.

lol

 

[ardour]

Sex appeal does not equal attractive to everyone. So yes, some people see it as objectifying when you say such a thing - I highly doubt that anyone likes to be told what they are and are not. Even if you personally think it is a positive it may not be seen that way by the one you are subjecting to your...thought process.

As for the subject of feminism, if you do not understand what something is you should probably not talk about it because it makes your argument weaker.

Muse said nothing about approaching a woman with comments like “I think you’re sekzy” etc.

One of my female friends just put posted facebook update along the lines of “just had lunch with two HOT guys...”
Perhaps I should admonish her for objectifying them? Of course not, it’s only harmful when men say something like this. ( I think it’s harmless but the double-standard warrants pointing out)

 

[EveWasFramed]

Muse said nothing about approaching a woman with comments like “I think you’re sekzy” etc.

Well, just to clarify, Muse DID edit his post. I will say that Im glad to see he changed it, as what it said previously wasn't really something I care to see on the forum.

EDIT: Also, I do agree that there are sometimes double standards, but both sexes are pretty much guilty of that at times.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Sex appeal does not equal attractive to everyone. So yes, some people see it as objectifying when you say such a thing - I highly doubt that anyone likes to be told what they are and are not. Even if you personally think it is a positive it may not be seen that way by the one you are subjecting to your...thought process.

As for the subject of feminism, if you do not understand what something is you should probably not talk about it because it makes your argument weaker.

Muse said nothing about approaching a woman with comments like “I think you’re sekzy” etc.

One of my female friends just put posted facebook update along the lines of “just had lunch with two HOT guys...”
Perhaps I should admonish her for objectifying them? Of course not, it’s only harmful when men say something like this. ( I think it’s harmless but the double-standard warrants pointing out)

Then what does "you have sex appeal" mean to someone? Are you trying to say that would not make someone uncomfortable?

If your friend consistently objectifies men and has a position of power over them then I believe that would be the proper course of action. I highly doubt that your friend has a position of power (socially, economically, etc.) over the men she is referring, but I could be wrong. To address your argument further I will use a cliche, "There is a time and place for everything." From your previous posts, I see little evidence that you could have constructive discussions about the objectification women and the effect it has on society with women active and present (this goes to your double standard point); though I would love for you to prove me incorrect.

 

[ardour]

Then what does "you have sex appeal" mean to someone? Are you trying to say that would not make someone uncomfortable?

If your friend consistently objectifies men and has a position of power over them then I believe that would be the proper course of action. I highly doubt that your friend has a position of power (socially, economically, etc.) over the men she is referring, but I could be wrong. To address your argument further I will use a cliche, "There is a time and place for everything." From your previous posts, I see little evidence that you could have constructive discussions about the objectification women and the effect it has on society with women active and present (this goes to your double standard point); though I would love for you to prove me incorrect.

Like most feminist gender theory this rests on wide ranging assumptions of male power, privilege, evil intent etc. It’s more or less an attempt to pathologize male sexuality, male identity in general, while women remain innocent, well-meaning, and above all utterly without agency.

So let me save time and sum it up; a woman can call a guy ‘hot’ because, being that she’s powerless, it’s innocent. But a man saying the same is a problem because all men have power over all women.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Then what does "you have sex appeal" mean to someone? Are you trying to say that would not make someone uncomfortable?

If your friend consistently objectifies men and has a position of power over them then I believe that would be the proper course of action. I highly doubt that your friend has a position of power (socially, economically, etc.) over the men she is referring, but I could be wrong. To address your argument further I will use a cliche, "There is a time and place for everything." From your previous posts, I see little evidence that you could have constructive discussions about the objectification women and the effect it has on society with women active and present (this goes to your double standard point); though I would love for you to prove me incorrect.

Like most feminist gender theory this rests on wide ranging assumptions of male power, priviledge, evil intent etc. It’s more or less an attempt to pathologize male sexuality, male identity in general, while women remain innocent, well-meaning, and above all utterly without agency.

So let me save time and sum it up; a woman can call a guy ‘hot’ because, being that she’s powerless, it’s innocent. But a man saying the same is a problem because all men have power over all women.

Assumptions?! Yeah, until you deal with your male privilege I doubt you will understand what people different from you go through. And what do you know about male sexuality? From what I have read from your previous posts, I do not believe you understand what sexuality is much less explain it to another person. Male identity? Which one do you mean? Gender nor sex is nearly as clear cut and defined as you are making it out to be. Your views on the world seem incredibly narrow and one-sided. Once again, I would love for you to have this discussion with a WOMAN about these issues. Maybe she can shed light onto the abyss known as "reality for people other than myself."

 

[Sci-Fi]

You guys were asked to settle down. I'm not going to be as nice as Eve. Knock it off. Really sick of seeing the gender bashing and generalization I've read on the last few pages.

If you two want to continue your conversation take it PM's.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Muse said nothing about approaching a woman with comments like “I think you’re sekzy” etc.

Nah, I would be more like, "Hi, how are you? My name is LeaningIntoTheMuse."



Although I don't know how to flirt. This is probably why I can't successfully approach women, and always end up with friends or people that don't have room for new friends.

 

[Mike413]

What the heck is "male privilege?" What about "female privilege?" I can't just walk into a bar and smile and have someone buy me a beer. Life is about balance. There is no one privileged gender. This is not gender bashing this is just telling the truth. I love women but I sometimes feel they are out of touch with the modern world as far as what is realistic to expect from men. The old days of men buying everything for a woman just because of their gender are gone(at least as far as I'm concerned). No bashing here. I believe in equality so there's no bashing necessary. I just say hello to the things I accept and want and goodbye to the things I don't want and won't tolerate. It's that way with everyone(regardless of gender). Look folks it comes down to this: Put a price tag on yourself(metaphorically speaking). Not everyone will be able to afford you(again metaphorically speaking of course)but it will make your life so much easier. You get to weed out the time wasters and the behavior you don't want or appreciate and only concern yourself with the people and things that are qualified to be worthy of your attention? In other words have high standards for yourself. You might be lonely but most of us already are otherwise we wouldn't be here. Hey, I'd rather be lonely than settle for what I don't want or deal with crap anyway so....

 

[Midnight Sky]

all men have power over all women.

Who is all men? Last I checked, I was one guy, with power only over myself.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Just found this quote using google. It's very true.

 

[ardour]

all men have power over all women.

Who is all men? Last I checked, I was one guy, with power only over myself.

That was a sarcastic assessment of another members ideology.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Read my quote, rdor. You only have power over yourself.

 

[bender22]

That's a great quote LeaningIntoTheMuse. Very true indeed.

 

[ardour]

Read my quote, rdor. You only have power over yourself.

This is completely out of context.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Not sure if it was taken out of context, but my quote does relate to this quote:

all men have power over all women.

 

[Seosa2]

No man will be able to truly understand the fairer sex. We'll always try, but we'll never fully succeed. But as long as we try, hopefully they'll appreciate it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

No man will be able to truly understand the fairer sex. We'll always try, but we'll never fully succeed. But as long as we try, hopefully they'll appreciate it.

You know...no one ever fully understands another human being.
Sometimes, it's not about understanding - it's about accepting.

 

[Seosa2]

No man will be able to truly understand the fairer sex. We'll always try, but we'll never fully succeed. But as long as we try, hopefully they'll appreciate it.

You know...no one ever fully understands another human being.
Sometimes, it's not about understanding - it's about accepting.

I totally agree, but m'dear you are a wonderful yet bizarre species.