Do you dismay over things that don't matter?

[user 188522]

I do dismay over decisions I made in the past. I have a challenging time letting go of bad choices. I wish I could just let the past go. I try to talk myself out of my feelings, but they always pop up again. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Minus]

All the time.

 

[Finished]

Not me. I'm usually really hard on myself at first. But, then over time I remember that I made the best decision I could at the time with the information I had.

 

[Lionesseye]

Yes.

 

[Sir Joseph]

I have a limited number of bad decisions in life to regret, but I remember them often and never let go of the guilt. I know God forgives me, but I seem unable to forgive myself - more often for being stupid than being immoral. In either case, it's a burden to bare, but sometimes our mistakes can be used to help others do better with their own paths in life.

 

[user 188644]

I used to constantly in my 20s paralyzingly so. I've gotten better honestly not even thinking about what I can't change. Well I say I've gotten better but it has nothing to do with anything I've actually done about it.

 

[xephier102]

I do dismay over decisions I made in the past. I have a challenging time letting go of bad choices. I wish I could just let the past go. I try to talk myself out of my feelings, but they always pop up again. Does anyone else feel this way?

It's most difficult to get over the past while it continues to harm your present. And I don't just mean via 'dismay'. People that talk about it like it's 'just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself' are just plain insensitive. Honestly, I try never to think about the events of my youth, but I'm constantly reminded of them by the notable effects they've had on my present. Psychology is a bit more complex than 'set it, and forget it'.. Lack of self esteem, and fear of failure, have always been a part of my life for as long as I've known, thx to what I went through as a young child.

That said, if you want to stop the pain of the past from affecting your present, then you need to solve the pain of your present; at least to the best of your capabilities given the resources you currently possess.

 

[Trevor]

I do, a lot. I'm always thinking that way of things in the past that should have no bearing in my present life.

 

[PeggyLee]

All the time.

 

[user 188685]

No,I don't have this problem

 

[user 188717]

No,I don't have this problem

Someone named sunflowergirl would be so earthly grounded that they do not. Love it! Legitimately made me laugh too.

If it counts, I dismay over a lot and think everything matters in the end. Being in the presence of my Virgo Mother and Taurus Father did seemingly help with my overthinking or feeling but I used to only contribute it to being my parents and how a child should feel safe around them.

This seemingly got worse upon "adulting".

What sign are you sunflowergirl if you don't mind sharing? Overthinking is a common occurrence with air signs. Overfeeling, water signs. Overly passionate, fire signs. Earth, overly "whatevs'".

 

[Sunless Sky]

Can't say I have this same exact problem myself but I do have some regrets over decisions made in the past. They haunt me especially ferociously at nighttime when I am trying to sleep.

 

[user 188685]

Someone named sunflowergirl would be so earthly grounded that they do not. Love it! Legitimately made me laugh too.

If it counts, I dismay over a lot and think everything matters in the end. Being in the presence of my Virgo Mother and Taurus Father did seemingly help with my overthinking or feeling but I used to only contribute it to being my parents and how a child should feel safe around them.

This seemingly got worse upon "adulting".

What sign are you sunflowergirl if you don't mind sharing? Overthinking is a common occurrence with air signs. Overfeeling, water signs. Overly passionate, fire signs. Earth, overly "whatevs'".

I'm a cancer,how about you Libralove?

 

[user 188717]

Very interesting. Cancerians do seemingly ground their water energies very well. Perhaps the "hermit glow". They make amazing empaths with natural healthy boundaries. Yourself included huh.

Libra Sun and rising. Double "scaled" all daaaa wayyyyy! Whoa!

It means I can't be myself, without being everyone else at the same time. 1:ထ

 

[Kamaione]

I have a limited number of bad decisions in life to regret, but I remember them often and never let go of the guilt. I know God forgives me, but I seem unable to forgive myself - more often for being stupid than being immoral. In either case, it's a burden to bare, but sometimes our mistakes can be used to help others do better with their own paths in life.

Excellent point, Sir Joseph! All things come together for the good, yes? <3

 

[user 139760]

Interesting. I try to never think about this. But I often anguish about decisions I made in the past. I think it's only normal anyone that's had some troubles and has a good conscience to regret the past and think he or she could have done it better. Ultimately though, it isn't productive to wallow in it, because you can't change it. It is however, a good guide for the future.
"Those who don't remember the past are doomed to repeat it" or somesuch.

 

[user 148069]

yes, I do this a lot unfortunately. Most of my regrets stems from not standing up for myself and others. In the few times that I do, somehow I feel as if I am the bad person and continue to beat myself over it.

 

[okidoke]

The thing is, whatever it is, it matters to you. To stop dismaying over it, you have to not let it matter to you anymore. That’s what you have to resolve. Work out why it matters. When you work it out, you can hopefully put it to bed by way of forgiving yourself or another or redeem yourself in some way. It’s a matter of processing it. Until you do, it will always remain and cause you dismay. I guess it can be scary to do that, as it may involve a flood of emotions, but it just might put an end to it going on.

I’ve had to do it with several things that caused me dismay, but once done, your shoulders seem a lot lighter.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Im starting to think I do….. been so worried lately about having a baby with a man who is not the same race as me, its crippled me and honestly its made me apprehensive on if my child will be loved like it should as I was not. Theres a lot of reasons why but ones that are too controversial to say. Deep down I wonder if being “childless” in terms of bloodline is what the universe has in store for me