Well, I totally understand OP. I think differently from most people and erroneously assume they're following my line of thinking enough to know what I'm talking about, but sometimes it just goes sudeways. People will often fill in the haps in their own understanding with their own views and perceptions. I'm no different from that in that regard, just more conscious of it and try not to do it. Communication is a skill takes a lifetime master.
As for your own situation, you're putting yourself down too much. While other people 's perceptions are important as a gauge of reflection on who you are, you need to have a measure of self-importance and worth when falling into subjective territory like appearance, looks, etc. I've been called extremely attractive by some, repulsive by others; I don't care. I view myself as average looking, with some strong points and weak points (my weiner isn't something I'd brag about, especially on an open forum
).
The only reflection of appearance I care about is what I get if I'm in an actual relationship with someone. I'll assume she is because she doesn't find me bad looking or enjoyable to be with. The rest doesn't really matter. I also don't look all that much as someone's appearance; the mother of my kids wouldn't be considered a "hot girl" (anymore), one of my ex's was, yet the former was much more attractive than the later. Also, the former attracted much more, in my book, attractive men than the later, mostly because she isn't a shallow, judgmental and highly critical personality, which the later was.
Point being, and this is a gross generalisation, cute but bitchy people often attract arses. Less extreme, rather non judgmental people, attract those with better values, which makes them more attractive. At least that's my take.
Point of it is, just do your thing. Nevermind others and what they say. If your friends call you ugly all the time, might I suggest different friends? Lol
