Do you just not meet people you like anymore?

[LonelySutton]

Maybe it is just being older but I just don't meet people anymore that interest me that much. They are so lacking in so many ways. I feel lonely to the extent i do, because I don't have anything to look forward to. Also, do you find people lately to have like technical glitches. Like they are scattered or can't remember things?  I almost can't meet anyone anyplace lately that isn't odd.  But I will say I work with a lot of people under 30 and for the most part they are more interesting, kind, and able to remember things than people my age or older.

 

[Extreme Unit]

Yes, people seem to have "technical glitches" in that they become sort of forgetful and flaky as they become accustomed to their own routines and set of friends. I think making friends and building a social circle would be easier if this wasn't the case.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

It's always been a difficulty to meet people that interest me. Said difficulties have only increased as time goes on. Regarding that last point, I think it's partly due to increased responsibilities. There's usually more to handle, whether it be work or family duties (among others). Extreme Unit also has a point. After awhile, you just get into a groove and become accustomed to acting a certain way. It's harder to shake that routine as you get older.

 

[LonelySutton]

I think it is also prescription drugs. A lot of people are on cholesterol drugs and the statins can make people forgetful.  It is tough, I meet someone and I think they could be a good friend and then the next time I see them they can't remember my name. Makes me feel like I didn't make an impression on them. Then we have an event or something and they forget to come. 

It makes me feel lonely because it is so hard to find people that aren't like this.

 

[Xpendable]

All the time.

 

[dd11]

I don't remember names. I just don't. Never did. It takes me a lot of time and on purpose to remember names. Doesn't mean i don't like or care about the person.

 

[Kianda]

Maybe it is just being older but I just don't meet people anymore that interest me that much. [...] Also, do you find people lately to have like technical glitches. Like they are scattered or can't remember things? [...]

I do find it difficult sometimes to look past the polite 'front' that most people put up when they first meet me. I can almost feel them trying to pigeonhole me in some way or another, based on first appearances and stereotypes about my race and gender.  I find that sort of person very boring, also draining. They say things like "Oh, you don't look like an artist!" and "Oh, being Mediterranean and with your colouring, you must love spending time in the sunshine!" Actually, artists come in all shapes and sizes, and I like sunless north light best (for painting and also because my eyes are sensitive to glare from sunlight). Autumn and winter landscapes are my favourite. Oh how I love to deconstruct their stereotypes!

As for those that have met me and forgotten me, (allowing for old age or medication, etc) - the most likely reason is that they weren't that interested in getting to know me in the first place.   

After all, if someone genuinely doesn't remember my name, it isn't a big deal (it's nothing in the great scheme of things) - in fact they may be rather embarassed about it.  It's quite a common problem to not remember someone's name because of short-term memory failure! But if someone doesn't care enough to at least try, I'm aware aware that the friendship is likely going nowhere.

Unfortunately for us lonely folk, I think that most older people's lives revolve around their families and long-term friends, with some living their life through their children.  They just aren't that interested in putting in the time and effort to get to know someone who is lonely and perhaps perceived to be 'needy'.  Also I think that people are very 'picky' nowadays, and choose only to befriend people who fit in easily with their established social circle.

 

[Menorahman]

Maybe it is just being older but I just don't meet people anymore that interest me that much. [...] Also, do you find people lately to have like technical glitches. Like they are scattered or can't remember things? [...]

I do find it difficult sometimes to look past the polite 'front' that most people put up when they first meet me. I can almost feel them trying to pigeonhole me in some way or another

So true, and I find that when people can't put me into a box they start to act bitter towards me. So sad.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I don't remember names. I could tell you where we were standing when I met you, what we talked about, what the weather was like, and maybe what you were wearing - but I won't remember your name.

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

At this point in my life, I'm very adept at making acquaintances but not so fantastic at making real friends... I have a few people that I text with, a few people that I *OCCASIONALLY* go do something with, but even that is rare. I think that part of the problem is that I just haven't met many people with a common interest since moving to California. Those that have been interesting have also been tied down with obligations... those that aren't tied down with obligations, I generally find myself pretending that I have obligations so I don't find myself in the bad part of National City (affectionately known as "Nasty City" to the locals) hanging around with people that ask me where I'm from. You know, in a threatening way. Lol.

 

[Incognita]

I dont enjoy most people either

 

[Tealeaf]

I sometimes feel this way, but I also know that casual friendships or "fair-weather" ones don't really interest me. I don't find it fulfilling as I'm getting older to spend a lot of time on superficial socializing with people I don't really know (and likely never will) at meetups or over social media. I crave close friendships with people I can truly rely on and open up to, and those are rare.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Maybe it is just being older but I just don't meet people anymore that interest me that much. They are so lacking in so many ways. I feel lonely to the extent i do, because I don't have anything to look forward to. Also, do you find people lately to have like technical glitches. Like they are scattered or can't remember things?  I almost can't meet anyone anyplace lately that isn't odd.  But I will say I work with a lot of people under 30 and for the most part they are more interesting, kind, and able to remember things than people my age or older.

I don't meet too many people that interest me much either.  Mostly I mean this romantically, I'm not sure if you meant it the same way or more broadly.  But I do feel that most people are lacking, at least to me.  When I found the ones that did interest me, they seemed to stand out, they were interesting, they were a breath of fresh air.  They made me feel excitement and wonder.  I really felt like I wanted to get to know them more, and that they wanted to talk about things that I also wanted to talk about or at least things that I'd be open to learning more about.  I feel like they could have shown me a lot and inspired me to learn and do more for myself.  But then when I've looked around where I am, everyone feels very lackluster in comparison.  There really isn't anyone that stands out, nobody I feel any desire to talk to or learn more about.  They all seem to fall into "types" where once you've met one of that type, you've more or less met them all.  They have the same sorts of personalities and interests, none of which I feel very excited about.  I don't think they could enhance my life too much.  I also worry about that feeling, that I'm never going to meet anyone that truly interests and excites me as much, if at all, again.

I can't really say I've experienced the "glitch" part you described, however.

 

[Jafo]

I loathe people in general, that's why I don't bother meeting them anymore. People just plain suck.

 

[Tealeaf]

Recently I tried to meet other friends and singles online in the area. So many of them were into drinking, clubbing, weed, sports, and TV even in their 20's and 30's...

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

I sometimes feel this way, but I also know that casual friendships or "fair-weather" ones don't really interest me. I don't find it fulfilling as I'm getting older to spend a lot of time on superficial socializing with people I don't really know (and likely never will) at meetups or over social media. I crave close friendships with people I can truly rely on and open up to, and those are rare.

Ever since I graduated, I've had little desire to do any socializing. Maybe it's because I'd face social rejection anyway. In college hardly anyone would show up to group meetings (I was part of several different groups on campus). Unfortunately my social circle has pretty much disappeared. :/

 

[Northern Lights]

It's not that I find people uninteresting or lacking...it's the fact that 99% of people I've met are selfish and have no consideration for me or my feelings. I'm a means to an end and when they've used me up then they ghost away.

I'm starting to see people more clearly now and can recognize sometimes when a person is being fake. Before that, I believed that people mean what they say (just like me), but I have learned that I am a rarity.

Recently, I wished a former colleague Happy New Year and she's always harping on how I need to visit her and stay in touch. When I emailed her asking her for coffee, she read my message and never responded. It's been 2 months now.

A friend of 1 year has made a new group of friends after me, and she's making time for them now instead of me. I felt that we could've had a sincere friendship, but that ship has sailed.

I'm a very kind and caring person and all-in-all people just don't give a **** about me. I'm trying to adjust my attitude to not give a **** about anyone else because real people don't seem to exist where I am.

I do not need "fair-weather" friends...superficial friendships are easy to make. Those are what I call "acquaintances" and not friends. I find it truly sad to not feel like I "belong" to a community or a group of friends, but it is what it is. I know I'm a good person through and through and I am trying to learn to protect myself instead of constantly being drained by people around me. It's quite telling when I've significantly helped others and when I ask them of a very minuscule favour they disappear. They'll reappear in my life months after when they need something or have noone else.

I am surrounded by vampires and I really am starting to think that other people have nothing to offer and only want to take.

 

[michael2]

It's not that I find people uninteresting or lacking...it's the fact that 99% of people I've met are selfish and have no consideration for me or my feelings. I'm a means to an end and when they've used me up then they ghost away.

I'm starting to see people more clearly now and can recognize sometimes when a person is being fake. Before that, I believed that people mean what they say (just like me), but I have learned that I am a rarity.

Recently, I wished a former colleague Happy New Year and she's always harping on how I need to visit her and stay in touch. When I emailed her asking her for coffee, she read my message and never responded. It's been 2 months now.

A friend of 1 year has made a new group of friends after me, and she's making time for them now instead of me. I felt that we could've had a sincere friendship, but that ship has sailed.

I'm a very kind and caring person and all-in-all people just don't give a **** about me. I'm trying to adjust my attitude to not give a **** about anyone else because real people don't seem to exist where I am.

I do not need "fair-weather" friends...superficial friendships are easy to make. Those are what I call "acquaintances" and not friends. I find it truly sad to not feel like I "belong" to a community or a group of friends, but it is what it is. I know I'm a good person through and through and I am trying to learn to protect myself instead of constantly being drained by people around me. It's quite telling when I've significantly helped others and when I ask them of a very minuscule favour they disappear. They'll reappear in my life months after when they need something or have noone else.

I am surrounded by vampires and I really am starting to think that other people have nothing to offer and only want to take.

I was looking through videos about social issues etc on the internet and I came across this guy who said "just because you are nice to people does not mean people have to like you back".

I dont agree with that statement at all - because its attempting to coverup the ugly side of many people today, that is most people do not choose to like you as a friend if they feel you cannot better their life or do something for them.  Most of the time its selfish.  All too often I've talked to people and get the "invisible wall" put up between me and them.  Im sure you know what Im talking about when I mention people putting up a wall between you and them when talking.  Your not even given a chance,  you've been judged by your appearance and have been found someone undesirable to them.

Correct me if Im wrong,  but I feel you are like me,  the way we view people is very different from the way others view people.  It can be summed up in these words by Will Rogers:  "I never met a man that I didnt like."  Thats me,  and Im thinking its you too.  However, it may come to a shock to you that this is not the case for maybe 95%+ of people.  They have very narrow views of what makes someone a possible friend, usually its based around who can do something for them or better their life.  Again, selfish reasons.  Thats where 'nice isnt good enough' spawned from.  Most people dont give a crap about you if they feel you cant improve their life in some way.  Its all about them, its never about them improving your life,  its all about them doing all the draining from you.

Dont let them change who you are.  Starting to not care about other people is making you like them.

 

[Eternitydreamer]

I find people generally cold and not sensitive to others. Women are really into catty "friendships". Their lifestyle is mostly ***, smokes, alcohol, clubs, bars and parties. I have never been like that. I'm a born-again Christian. I am into a nice board game, karaoke, hugs..
The people I like never like me back so what's the point. I think we will get along then they completely snub me and go to someone else. I have never talked about my faith to anyone unless asked. Like an older woman today asked me about a cross I have on my shoes. I try my best to talk up but they go to each other and avoid me. The woman who asked about my shoes asked why I don't go to church and I said I don't get along with people and she said awkwardly "you're ok".
I'm a really emotional, caring and loving person. I'd do anything for someone but can't get anyone to like me back.
Somehow my personality can't click with anyone online or offline. They don't want to let me speak, respect me or value my thoughts or feelings. If I speak or tell a joke, it's radio silence or a funny look. They change convos to being about them and aren't interested in anything I say. I genuinely care about everyone I meet and do want friendships but somehow it just doesn't happen. I often get talked over and when I'm still talking they completely talk over me to another person like I'm not even there. It happened to today and I'm sick of being treated like this. This is so insanely rude and even my mother treats me the same. I've always felt invisible.
I have never once had a boyfriend or any relationships apart from a really fake friendship I had years back when I was just 13. Not getting into it but she never EVER liked me.
I have a shy, kind, but bland personality so maybe I just can't find anyone in the world like me. I like stuffed animals, the colour pink, fashion, pastel colours and kind of have a sweet and sugary personality. I'm not loud by any means. I'm obese and blonde too. I never compliment myself, just stating the sort of personality I have.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I've met people who don't interest me much either. It takes time for me to get to know people and I've always been very friendly and caring. Love getting to know people, having deep conversations with them and doing different things together. I've never cared for gossip and what the latest trend is. Trends kinda bother me. I just wear what I feel comfortable in. Many people always try to fit in and try to participate in the latest gossip that's happening in hollywood or things that's happening among other people. Sometimes I feel like people lost a lot of dignity and have a lot of hatred for others. One thing I avoid now is toxic people and people who make me feel horrible about myself. Rather be happy, than be miserable. Anytime I meet a friend, I care deeply for them as a whole person. Sure I've made mistakes in my past and I'm trying to make up for them. Nobody is perfect.

Sometimes I'm in groups with people and I just sit there and listen to the conversation. Once somebody said out loud, "Will somebody talk to her please?" I started giggling and just said openly that I was listening to the conversation. I like to listen and if there's something that I need to say, I'll speak up. I've always been a very quiet person by nature and sometimes I give the person the impression that I don't care what their saying, when that's not even the case. There's times where I can be very shy too. =) I do care about the people I meet though and I love my friends and family.