Do you sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have started dating young?

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LeaningIntoTheMuse

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For those over 25 and inexperienced, do you sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have started dating when you were 13? Or have kissed as a young child?

I wonder this. I had a girlfriend when I was in the third grade, but we didn't kiss or anything...and she broke up with me, rather cruelly might I add...I have never had any interest since then, or anything I could act on, so I feel kind of pathetic.
 
I often think about this and I still do. I feel like I'm missing out because its different when you experience these things when you're younger. It does make me sad from time to time. Especially since I'm still single now. But I try to not dwell on it too much otherwise I can't seem to appreciate the present.
 
Yeah, if I dwelled on it too much, I would go insane.

The key is to make sure my nieces and nephews don't go down that same path I did. My nephew, for instance, is 7 and already dating...and so are my nieces, ages 12 and 13. So maybe they will have a normal life.
 
We all make mistakes, I wish I'd felt waaaaay back how I feel now, how I understand myself a little better. However, since my time vortex is till awaiting the discovery of Trifinity, (call R.E.A.C.T. for details), I've decided to focus on making my future better.

Just don't spend too long mourning the past or you might miss the present.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
My nephew, for instance, is 7 and already dating...and so are my nieces, ages 12 and 13. So maybe they will have a normal life.

7 years old? Seriously?

Edward W said:
Just don't spend too long mourning the past or you might miss the present.

Good advice.
 
ladyforsaken said:
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
My nephew, for instance, is 7 and already dating...and so are my nieces, ages 12 and 13. So maybe they will have a normal life.

7 years old? Seriously?

Yeah, I think it's too young...but he's being going around talking about his "girlfriend"...

If I were my sister, I'd be hesitant, but unfortunately I am just the uncle.

I don't believe they've done anything besides say they're going out, though. Similar to my "girlfriend" when I was ten. We wore rings that signified we were together, but we never did anything besides hold hands in the playground.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
If I were my sister, I'd be hesitant, but unfortunately I am just the uncle.

I know how you feel. I have my niece and nephew living with me... a lot of things I would've not done the same way as my sister did but nothing I can do about them because they're not my kids. I can only advice where I can... and discreetly so as not to clash with her way of bringing them up. Sometimes it kinda makes it difficult because the things she'd allow them get away with goes against my beliefs. Can't wait to move out!!

But I still think 7 years old is WAY too young to date lol. What do they know?? Then again, kids nowadays are pretty smart.
 
Yeah, I'd say 7 is too young for "dating" too o_0

Anyway, yeah, kinda wish I'd "dated" when younger. In fact, I just wish I'd had a kiss when I was a young teen or something, because now after so long it just feels like an impenetrable wall I'm never going to get over.

Some other guys my age treat all-out sex as if it's just a casual weekend activity, whereas to me just thinking of sharing a kiss is the nerves-and-tension equivalent of climbing Mount Everest without rope :p

The irony is that I have some fairly extensive knowledge of relationships from mere observation (e.g. I've noticed recently I can actually predict couples hooking up weeks before they do, based on their body language!). But zero experience means I'm hopeless at any kind of practical understanding of them.
 
I didn't have my first sexual encounter until I was roughly 22.
My former stepdaughter started having sex at about age 14.
Knowing what she has had to deal with from starting so early, I would have to say I don't really WANT to know what a physical relationship would have been like before my first one. Although I was really mature for a teenager, (looking back) I don't feel like I was equipped to handle a relationship like that (mentally and emotionally).
So, to answer the question, no.
 
Every now and then I think about lost opportunities and what could have been. Even kissing at a younger age would've been nice. But I was to much of a loner back then and had little confidence to satisfy a girl in a relationship that I held myself back from even approaching. So, since I can't change what has already past, I'll have to focus on the present and future and create something better for myself.
 
Yeah, I suppose that's what I'm going to have to do.

I can't change the past. The only thing I can do is move forward from here.
 
I actually had my first kiss when I was 13. Wasn't that great, this girl broke up with me a few weeks later and after that I've never really had luck in terms of relationships. Every time I fall in love or like a girl it doesn't work out and I will get less and less confident in the "fact" that some day I'll find someone. I wish I didn't have to go through that. With other people it always seems to go naturally or something. About 8 months ago I liked this girl that I still kind of like today, and I remember that a (female) friend liked my best friend. My best friend was not interested, but after a while he became interested. I remember this female friend telling me that there still was hope for me but that all her hope was lost, but it still worked out. They're a happy couple now and my "best friend" is not a friend of mine anymore because he only pays attention to this girl. (His loss, I moved on and have plenty of friends at the moment. ) The point is that these kind of miracles only seem to happen to other people.

I try not to worry about it too much. I've changed a lot in the past years and I'm pretty sure I'm quite an attractive guy nowadays. I hope one day I'll find the right person.
 
aspalas said:
I actually had my first kiss when I was 13. Wasn't that great, this girl broke up with me a few weeks later and after that I've never really had luck in terms of relationships. Every time I fall in love or like a girl it doesn't work out and I will get less and less confident in the "fact" that some day I'll find someone. I wish I didn't have to go through that. With other people it always seems to go naturally or something. About 8 months ago I liked this girl that I still kind of like today, and I remember that a (female) friend liked my best friend. My best friend was not interested, but after a while he became interested. I remember this female friend telling me that there still was hope for me but that all her hope was lost, but it still worked out. They're a happy couple now and my "best friend" is not a friend of mine anymore because he only pays attention to this girl. (His loss, I moved on and have plenty of friends at the moment. ) The point is that these kind of miracles only seem to happen to other people.

I try not to worry about it too much. I've changed a lot in the past years and I'm pretty sure I'm quite an attractive guy nowadays. I hope one day I'll find the right person.


alot of people at work have teenage kids. They all seem to have boyfriends / girlfriends.
All very easy !

I grew up thinking it would happen. I was a nice, good looking kid.

It didn't !
 
Yeah well I sometimes wonder if these relationships are real. I know a couple of people who just want a relationship very bad and eventually get one, but I doubt that they actually love eachother. I myself really want to love someone before I get a relationship.
 
I don't want to change the topic by saying this...
but I wonder what it would have been like to have not started dating young or at all for that matter.
 
I didn't date from young. Never had a relationship till I was 18. It didn't make much difference really, just that I had no experience whatsoever in being a relationship and since I was shy and it didn't come naturally to me, I kinda screwed up a lot lol because the ex was more experienced, so to speak.

All I know is, the first real deep relationship I had taught me a lot of things. The mental state of thinking is different from when I was much younger compared to when I was 18, and even so now when I'm 24. So different. It's like the brain evolves and changes in its way of thinking. Well of course, with everything new that we learn in our daily lives, it's gotta change.
 
aspalas said:
Yeah well I sometimes wonder if these relationships are real. I know a couple of people who just want a relationship very bad and eventually get one, but I doubt that they actually love eachother. I myself really want to love someone before I get a relationship.

i can imagine teenagers doing that. There mates have girlfriends / boyfriends so they don't want to feel left out.
 
Part of me is glad that I missed out on all the drama and politics of a typical high school/college relationship, but I still wish I'd gone through it (if that makes any sense). I've always thought of it as a rite of passage that most people use as a learning experience before they get into a serious relationship later on in life. Sometimes I wonder if I'll come off as too inexperienced for the first soul who decides to try their luck with me... but oh well. Can't dwell on these things too much...
 
Hmm I still think 12 or 13 is too young to be dating, but then again I've been called a prude more than once! Actually even when I was that age and people were obsessed with starting to date I thought it was all pretty laughable! I was pretty sensible I guess.

I do hate this rush to grow up. I wish people didn't think about it till 16 / 17. I mean have friends, have fun. Don't worry about relationships. I was so much more confident and together before I'd ever had one.

As for 7? I think some people think its "cute" when kids pair off in the playground and harmless, which it probably is to be fair, still makes me squirm though.

Personally I began at 19 / 20 and even though I've had experiences and boyfriends I wouldn't say I'd had a real relationship until I met my current boyfriend (I was 30). While being that age doesn't bother me the issue is my experience compared to my boyfriends. I'm going through the first exciting throws of love while he has had steady relationships and has two children. I find that hard at times. Though I still don't wish I'd met him at 17 as we wouldn't be the people we are now.
 
annik said:
Hmm I still think 12 or 13 is too young to be dating, but then again I've been called a prude more than once! Actually even when I was that age and people were obsessed with starting to date I thought it was all pretty laughable! I was pretty sensible I guess.

I do hate this rush to grow up. I wish people didn't think about it till 16 / 17. I mean have friends, have fun. Don't worry about relationships. I was so much more confident and together before I'd ever had one.

As for 7? I think some people think its "cute" when kids pair off in the playground and harmless, which it probably is to be fair, still makes me squirm though.

Personally I began at 19 / 20 and even though I've had experiences and boyfriends I wouldn't say I'd had a real relationship until I met my current boyfriend (I was 30). While being that age doesn't bother me the issue is my experience compared to my boyfriends. I'm going through the first exciting throws of love while he has had steady relationships and has two children. I find that hard at times. Though I still don't wish I'd met him at 17 as we wouldn't be the people we are now.

the school prom is getting popular in this country now.

Never had it when I was 16 or 18. I'm glad I wouldn't have gone
 

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