does good looks really matter in making friends and finding love

[Callie]

READ THEM!!!! There is a lot of useful information in there and if you really wanted to change you would see that you can, it's all about YOU. No one else is gonna change you, that is entirely on YOU to do, no one else can. So if you want to be different, I would suggest that you read these and put a lot of thought into what you want out of life and what you are prepared to do to accomplish it. Stop making excuses and just do it.

Since I'm bored and have nothing better to do and you seem to be all about saying that we are NOT trying to help you and how we all HATE you... I've taken the liberty of going through this thread and taking out all the USEFUL advice you've been given by members of this forum.
So, I would suggest you go through these and READ THEM and perhaps maybe actually listen to some of us and maybe you will find what you need.

Of course 'looks' matter. They matter in life, love, jobs, everything. Anybody who says differently if lying. We react differently depending on how attractive a person looks. Initially anyway.

You can help yourself though. How many ugly people do you see wearing poor, untidy clothes ?
Alot ! Help yourself by wearing smart clothes, keep yourself groomed and tidy. Work on body langauge, try to look friendly and happy. Smile ! People like that.

Looks are good for casual relationships, and they also pay a certain parts in deep relationships, as they should. But it's nothing more than that.

Broken teeth could be a turnoff for some, but as putter said, if you take pride in your appearance and have confidence in yourself, that goes a long way.
Looks don't always matter, yes they are important, but you don't have to be sexy and gorgeous to find love.

People like to say that personality matters most, and while it does matter...what gets noticed first is always looks. But 'looks' doesn't mean you look like the chicks in the magazines etc. It's having confidence in your appearance and looking comfortable in your own skin that is attractive. Some people confuse the 6 pack abs and huge **** for attractiveness, but I think that's missing the point.

Best advice i heard: Try to look your best, put a little effort into your appearance and you'll feel a little better about what you see in the mirror...and THAT is attractive.

Well, guess it depends.

For people with good looks, its a lot easier to get the attention of other people and notice it-especially after a few drinks! Thing is, what is "good looking" varies per person. Personally, i hate this look that most people my age are going for now-these are the people that are classed as good looking a lot. Thats just a lil example to illustrate my above point!

Personality is also very important for me and many other people. I could never be with someone if they had the intelligence of a squashed apricot even if they were the most stunning person in the world. I can honestly say for me that personality is more important than than loks. I cant be the only one like that.

You just have to like yourself and that shows. Like a previous poster said- first impressions are based on looks-because you havnt seen the personality yet. If you go in and are happy with yourself people will notice and thats better looking than a person that may be considered insanely good looking that is not as confident. Your body language speaks a lot- if you show confident body signals people will notice.

Just try not to let it get to you too much. Do what you have to do to make yourself happy and you should see the results! Good luck!

Often men who want "supermodel" girlfriends look like "supermodels" themselves. From what I've seen, you keep on chasing only men who are "supermodels" and then get upset when they don't like you because you're not a "supermodel". If this is the case, then you are a hypocrite because you only care about looks for men and it sounds like you do not even have any interest in some average/ less-than-average man.

If anyone does not like you, you move on and forget about them and meet new people...hopefully you will come across one that you will have a connection with.

There is no use in sitting around and doing nothing. The best you can do is to eat well, exercise, improve your grooming etc and hopefully you will feel better about yourself. I often wish I were beautiful too - but we all have to learn to work with what we have and be the best that we can be. I would rather keep trying than do nothing and complain, complain, and complain.

THAT is your problem right there. If you have no confidence in yourself, why should anyone else? If you have a problem with your looks and it's bringing you down, then do something about it. Go on a diet if you think you weigh too much, take pride in your appearance. YOU are your biggest downfall here, not the guys. I've read your other posts and quite frankly, it's your attitude more than it is your looks.
Be confident in yourself, take pride in your appearance and stop stalking guys who don't want you and you'll be a lot further than you are right now. Everything you feel about yourself, you are projecting to everyone who meets you, whether you know it or not.

Yes, what you said in the above is all true and its true. Sadly, guys are nothing but species that have no brain and heart. They only want beautiful girls. Even you have experienced it yourself. However, I encourage you to 'ignore' such people. I'm sure there is a needle in the haystack where a guy is not 'into' JUST hot girls. I know its hard, but its possible. How old are you? And what your mother said is not very nice...please don't believe it. To me, you're not an ugly duckling no matter how you look. It's the media and the nastiness of people out there. Please don't get sucked into their brainwashing.

Great looking women do have it easier as far as men, by a lot, but many gorgeous women aren't that happy. It's all relative. Just as somebody starving in India or somewhere would roll their eyes at many of us saying we are depressed or lonely when we have so much. If you got it, you take it for granted.

If you want a lot of men to approach you, it does work to make yourself as attractive (and normal-sized) as possible. Otherwise, just be nice and interesting and approach guys as friends. Once they get to know you, they'll see YOU, not your outer appearance so much.

Good looks get you attention and interest, but it is personality that wins the heart.

Being the 'funny guy with an ugly face' i think it is wrong to be all for looks, think of them as an added bonus, i've had a girlfriend recently (she was a bit of an ass though) and have some pretty close friends thus proving the uneccesariness of good looks unless that is all someone has then all i can say is i am sad for them.

there is no deny that everyone prefer to be around people who they consider as good looking. But like most people mentioned in this thread, it's not the be all and end all. 99% of people in this world are average look, but they look beautiful to the people who love them. It's all subjective. Sure there is a minority who are not so good looking by all standard, but again, it can be made up (at least partially ) with confidence, having a good career, personality....etc.

You made many threads based on your own perceived bad looks, what about you post a photo of yourself and let us be the judge?

I must be different then because I go for a woman's personality. An 'ugly woman' is one with an ugly personality.

How do we know if someone is good-looking? Our brain tells us so. It simultaneously computes their personalities, traits, height, weight, clothes, hair, etc. There are a TON of factors in knowing if someone is good-looking or not.

1. Is the person outgoing? (Social factor)

2. Is the person standind upright or slanted? (Confident or not?)

3. Is the person happy being themselves? (Self-Esteem)

4. Does the person dress good? (Contemporary clothing).

5. Is the person "healthy?" (Weight)

Etc, etc, etc.


Everything plays a role in deciding if someone is good-looking or not, it very much depends on the type of person as well.

There were so many issues in your post, but I wanted to address this one.

Listen very carefully: You CAN lose weight.

I am 42 years old and have had several pregnancies which both have had a severe effect on slowing down my metabolism; I've fought depression, eating-disorder issues, emotional-eating issues, blah blah blah.

BUT, I decided recently that I had hit my Rock Bottom for weight even though it's not as bad as it once was, still... I'd had enough.

You know what I've done? I started the South Beach diet again, because I know it works for me. It's been 2 weeks and I have lost 11-1/2 lb. So if some old broad with a pathetic metabolism like me can do it, YOU certainly can.

Here's the tough part: It takes determination. It takes will power.

But by God, it works, and let me tell you, any feeling of deprivation (because it is a low-carb regimen) quickly evaporates when you see the pounds melt away.

You need to take some sort of control. It's hard when you feel as though every arena of your life is beyond your control, so what might help is if you tackle them one at a time. Believe it or not, weight can be the easiest to start with because if you're dedicated to it, you can see results quickly.

Now, nothing I've (or anyone else) said is going to help if you just want to sit there in a vat of self-pity and wallow and feel sorry for yourself.

You have to want to change in order for it to happen.

Good luck. and for God's sake DO something proactive.

The first thing you need to try to improve is your attitude...you have a victim mentality and each one of your threads have had MANY replies (more responses than most people's threads here) filled with advice but you simply ignore it and complain how this and that is holding you back from putting forth any effort into yourself or your life.

Honestly...if you are not going to make any effort at all...I think you might as well just learn to accept things as they are and not complain. :/

 

[beans]

most guys today think they deserve the best like miss universe of 20 years old not the likes of me i have no change none at all
i can't compete i could never compete with that . what the use i can't win i just can't win

yes you can change. Have you watched America's Biggest Loser?

 

[unlucky in life]

most guys today think they deserve the best like miss universe of 20 years old not the likes of me i have no change none at all
i can't compete i could never compete with that . what the use i can't win i just can't win

yes you can change. Have you watched America's Biggest Loser?

---

i am freak every guy i every liked hated me i wish i was dead i am disgusting looking hated by males .just wish i was dead
i hate my self i so hate my self men hate me too. i am just disgusting freak no body wants no one has ever wanted me .
no one .guys like Argentinian take it for granted he good looking and popular ,women love him every wants to be his friend.
yet i have nothing at all i am so unhappy so very unhappy i.d be better off dead.always feeling depressed and sad and crying at the time
always being rejected all i ever wanted was to be loved every guy i pick can have who who ever want but i don't have those choice because of the way i am .
no body understands me at home and no body cares no body .i don't understand about any thing about looks and being social and flirting i don't know any thing
all i know about is being hurt and rejected i am being punished in life because i am ugly looking i hate my face .i don't how deal guys i don't how to deal with there aggression towards me and hated they have me or why they do.all i know they hate me forever they never forgive me for something i did or did not do .i am very lost and very alone and very deep down . those guys who were to me all found love and are happy yet i still suffer and very lonely

 

[IgnoredOne]

Unlucky, take a deep breath. You're freaking out, which you often seem to do when you post here.

You can change and you can improve your situation, one small step at a time. You don't need to be depressed, alone, or ugly. You just need to focus on yourself and work on one thing a day, and be calm. Panic solves nothing.

 

[Badjedidude]

You can change and you can improve your situation, one small step at a time. You don't need to be depressed, alone, or ugly. You just need to focus on yourself and work on one thing a day, and be calm. Panic solves nothing.

Here's one small step you can take. It's what I did when I lost my weight.

STOP DRINKING POP/SODA.

That's it.

I used to have a 16oz pepsi every day... do you know how many calories that is over a week's time? It's like 1,000+ calories of chemical **** that gets into your system. If you can stop drinking pop for a year, that will be 53,000+ calories LESS that you've ingested for that year, and it means that you won't have toxic sludge riding around in your veins.

THAT is one small step that you could take.

 

[unlucky in life]

i deserve to be rejected i am fat old ugly gross not worth it just like all the guys i said deserve to be hated and rejected by guys
i'll be alone for rest of my life any way i have no choice i am gross and disgusting

the guys were i am worthless no body not bother with and they don't that proves it.
no body can help it just way it is for me.i am waste of time and energy just like they said they were righ
i am fat and old rejected always will be at this stage of life i am tired of fighting it
i just accept i wll never get my 1st kiss at nearly 30 years old and i will never be asked out
treated right by them just accept bad treatment by men and rejection put it as part of me i can't fight it no more
i just have to accept i am romantic reject FOREVER i am too old at my age

the Argentina guy said he NEVER DATE THE LIKE OF ME NEVER EVER HE REFUSE ABSOULTY.
he means it i'll be dead before him so he need not worry

when some one doesn't want you exist ever to them no matter how many years they still forever hate you and they don't even know you or give you 2nd chance cut you off like you don't exist is very hard horrible thing to face very hard horrible to be hatred deep down a very dark hatred in there heart for me all i was doing trying to be nice that what i got for being nice

 

[allanh]

if you already made up your mind, why post here? Do you just want us all to agree with you and say you suck?

 

[beans]

You can change and you can improve your situation, one small step at a time. You don't need to be depressed, alone, or ugly. You just need to focus on yourself and work on one thing a day, and be calm. Panic solves nothing.

Here's one small step you can take. It's what I did when I lost my weight.

STOP DRINKING POP/SODA.

That's it.

I used to have a 16oz pepsi every day... do you know how many calories that is over a week's time? It's like 1,000+ calories of chemical **** that gets into your system. If you can stop drinking pop for a year, that will be 53,000+ calories LESS that you've ingested for that year, and it means that you won't have toxic sludge riding around in your veins.

THAT is one small step that you could take.

I so agree with you. I can't believe the amount of soda that people from America/Australia drink. They drink it like its water or something, which is wrong. You really only should have soda like once in a month or once in a while, not for every meal you take or whenever you're thirsty. It's crazy. I knew one guy who was obese who stocks up six bottles of 2.5litre coke in his fridge. Bbbrrrrr. I think just by cutting off soda, you'd see the weight come off and you're also less likely to get hungry often and overeat.

 

[unlucky in life]

make fun of me i don't care i well used to laugh away at me i don't care

 

[Callie]

who the **** is making fun of you???
The soda thing is actually true.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I kmow what Hatred is. Theres nothing I can dp wiht the color
of my skin or Race.
Plenty of fucken biggots breahting
and breeding . It is what It is.
Life is un fucken fair....oh fucken will.
A lot of stupid ass ipeople arnt going to like me...Worst..they will attack me or try to kill me...
Iit the reality and hard cold facts of my life.....

Life t balance out for some reasons.

@ 44...I still get the best and still
get hated When it ggod, its reaaly good cuase when its bad , its really.
bad.
Taking the goods with the bads

I dont hate myself thats one big
fucken step Ive made.....

 

[Minus]

You are driving yourself up the wall obsessing over everything that you feel is wrong and it isn't getting you anywhere.

Maybe if you focused on changing that which can be changed and accepting that which can never be changed. Learning which is which.

Unless your purpose is to just come here and let off steam, with no further purpose.

Read Them!

 

[unlucky in life]

but its true : i try to change it only makes me worse
i deserve to be rejected i am fat old ugly gross not worth it just like all the guys i said deserve to be hated and rejected by guys
i'll be alone for rest of my life any way i have no choice i am gross and disgusting

the guys were i am worthless no body not bother with and they don't that proves it.
no body can help it just way it is for me.i am waste of time and energy just like they said they were righ
i am fat and old rejected always will be at this stage of life i am tired of fighting it
i just accept i wll never get my 1st kiss at nearly 30 years old and i will never be asked out
treated right by them just accept bad treatment by men and rejection put it as part of me i can't fight it no more
i just have to accept i am romantic reject FOREVER i am too old at my age

the Argentina guy said he NEVER DATE THE LIKE OF ME NEVER EVER HE REFUSE ABSOULTY.
he means it i'll be dead before him so he need not worry

when some one doesn't want you exist ever to them no matter how many years they still forever hate you and they don't even know you or give you 2nd chance cut you off like you don't exist is very hard horrible thing to face very hard horrible to be hatred deep down a very dark hatred in there heart for me all i was doing trying to be nice that what i got for being nice


Argentina guy doesn't even want to know i exist why am i hated

 

[allanh]

ok, you are fat old ugly and gross. The end.

 

[Callie]

ok, you are fat old ugly and gross. The end.

You forgot to mention anything about facebook guy

 

[unlucky in life]

ok, you are fat old ugly and gross. The end.

You forgot to mention anything about facebook guy

no i didn.t "
Argentina guy doesn't even want to know i exist why am i hated"

 

[paulo]

why am i hated

because you dont listen to people.
or do you just not understand what people are writing ??
not hating you or making fun of you just really starting to wonder.

 

[allanh]

Good. Now we are all in agreement.

Let's move on.

 

[unlucky in life]

why am i hated

because you dont listen to people.
or do you just not understand what people are writing ??
not hating you or making fun of you just really starting to wonder.

the Argentina guy hates me still it has been full year a full year

 

[Callie]

why am i hated

because you dont listen to people.
or do you just not understand what people are writing ??
not hating you or making fun of you just really starting to wonder.

the Argentina guy hates me still it has been full year a full year

Maybe cuz... YOU WON'T STOP ******* STALKING HIM!!!!!!