Just expressing myself.
I started my adventure high on the mountaintops, above the clouds where there were sun heated rocks and scenic peaks. There the sun was so close I could reach out and almost touch it if I tried. It was a place of hope, inspiring thoughts and radiant ideals. The possibilities that lay before me warmed my young heart.
There was a fountain there, and its refreshing sweet water calmly played down the side of the mountain and its sound was like the voice of a dear one, beckoning me to come along. I was young and the promise of secrets revealed led me by the hand and I followed. My boat was small and light but the stream was calm, and I did not yet know any fear. I drifted down and my heart was ablaze with anticipation. The stream became bigger as its friends joined in, as if they all knew the same way to happiness. The voice of the stream became louder, like a choir slowly building up to some crescendo.
I passed through the clouds as I went down, and it became darker, but I could still see the outline of the friendly sun and that reassured me. For a moment I could swear I heard a voice out of the darkness calling me: "Do not fear dear one, your hopes and dreams are at hand." Finally, before any worry could arise I drifted down further and the clouds started to part, like a theater curtain drawn open to great applause, and I gasped as a world of color revealed itself. Before my eyes the stream picked up speed as if rushing to get home in a hurry and became a river. It stretched out in front of me and the beauty of the land it was dividing was awe inspiring. The paradise there was bountiful. As I passed through, the bright green trees and colorful explosions of flowers made me smile and filled my heart with warmth. Various animals skipped about and birds darted around the canopies. Aside from the beauty, a feeling of contentment and bliss permeated this place.
I wanted to get off there but my smile turned to a frown when I realized someone had tied my leg to the boat. I pulled and tugged at the rope to no avail. I wondered who tied me down. Was it the one who owned the voice that made promises in the cloud? For the first time a strange coldness sprung up in my heart. What was this feeling? Fear introduced itself and its presence made me want to get off even more. But the rope was tied with inhuman strength. The voice came again: "Don't resist my dear, only a little further" It did not find me well.
Feelings of hope and dreams made real faded as the color started to fade from the trees, and the flowers perished before me. The boat drifted further and now started to rock hence and forth as the water became increasingly angry. The clear happy stream had become a deep and dark torrent, and I felt evil intent emanating from the depths. The once beautiful land on the shores had become a lifeless forest of dead trees and ash. Smoke rising up from where the beauty was scorched. The last warmth left my heart and was replaced with cold emptiness. Why did I ever leave the mountain? "Take me back, take me back!" I yelled. My voice echoed in the dark and became softer and softer until it disappeared like the last hope in me had.
I must have hit my head on the side of the boat due to the turbulent rapids because the next thing I remember was waking up to complete darkness and total silence. I was still tied to my mute companion, and tugged at the rope once again to no avail. All I could see around me was glimmers of moonlight on the water. I must have washed into an ocean. The contrast to the place I came from was now complete. Here was no friendly sun, or warmth or hope. A desolate place like the prison of angels: Tartarus. Even their wings could not give them escape from there, so what could I do? Even if I could loosen my bonds any moment of hopes light would soon be replaced with the dark realization that below me lay the deep abyss, and above me heights I could not scale. I cried out again: "Take me back, take me back!" but here was not even an echo to converse with. Even the voice of the one who called me earlier refused response.
In the darkness I sang a somber song:
----------
Don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat, the depths await.
The silence here is overwhelming, and far out of reach heavens gate.
----------
This has been a story of my journey from my youth, the honeymoon of relationships and then loss of freedom, the aftermath of lost love and awakening in the place I am now: Loneliness.
