Embrace Rejection

[AFrozenSoul]

I came across this idea. I figured I would post this here. The idea is a kind of therapy where you actively seeking to be rejected at least once a day.

I figured it could be an interesting discussion.

 

[fox]

It sounds interesting, but to me does not seem it would be very helpful..
If you seek a person to reject you each day, what do you do to achieve this, behave obnoxiously?
Maybe I miss the point, but to me it does not seem productive.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Fox, I agree with you. I do think people need to find a way to deal with rejection, especially if they get emotional about it... But that whole idea doesn't seem like it would really accomplish anything.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It would desensitize you to being afraid of rejection.

I need to do this. It is a good idea.

 

[fox]

Now I think of it, it sounds... to take this idea and change it a bit, so the outcome you intend is more productive, would be more help.

Instead... to try to have some person reject you each day, the goal in mind can be to have some person acknowledge you in a positive way each day(even if it is just a stranger you say "hello" to returns a greeting). Of course, in attempt to do this, there will also be many instances of rejection, and you can use those to learn accept the rejection. This way, a person can learn to be rejected is a part of life as much as to be accepted is, but the rejection is not so bad because also can be accepted, and it would be good practice to "put yourself out there" no matter if you receive either response.

I think a person would get much more from that, instead seeking rejection alone.

(i hope this made at least some sense)

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I think the point, that was discussed on the website, was that it helps you equate rejection with success. If you do that then rejection will sting less. That is the whole point of the exercise, I think.

To be honest, I cannot think of a better way to teach people how to deal with rejection. I mean what other way is there to teach and experience?

 

[HappyYogi]

I think this could be a great idea.

I am betting the problem for a lot of us, and I include myself here, is that we are just too darn sensitive!

In fact, I know this works because I've lived it. Ever do anything hard that became easier because you preservered? I did.

I signed up to signature gather for a cause I believe in. I had to ask hundreds of people to sign a petition. At least half said "no", ignored me totally or said something rude. I HATED it but I preservered because I cared so much about the issue.

What happened? It became easier. I didn't take it so hard. It became the new "normal".

Imagine if we were not imprisoned by the fear of rejection???

WOW!!!

 

[Kat]

Embrace rejection by changing your perspective. Someone who is rejecting you does not care or does not realize how great you are. Don't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What better way? To learn that rejection is a part of life, and that you can't possibly always get what you want. I do agree, though, experience is one of the best ways to be taught.

 

[Frito Bandito]

One of the first things any guy should do is go out to a bar and actively try to get rejected by as many women as possible.

It's desensitization.

Once you're done, you will realize it doesn't even matter.

What other people think is pointless.

That's the epiphany that frees you from fear of rejection and makes you desirable to be around.

A "Non-Needy" State. (not "needing" approval or validation)

 

[AFrozenSoul]

An epiphany indeed, plus I can go out and just be mean to people

 

[jjam]

Q: What do I do if I approach someone to begin a friendship and I am "rejected"?

A: Well, for starters, I'd rather not assign the word rejection to what occurred! Continue to be polite to this person. Do not think to myself, "their loss!" Instead, think something like "Time said no but perhaps Some Other Time will say yes!" Don't put myself in their head, as if Charles Xavier, trying to figure out all the BAD things about me they see that led them to decline building a friendship with me. Try not to go into their head at all. It is important that I know about myself all of the positive things I can bring to the table. That, coupled with acceptance of Time saying no, is all I really need to handle rejection.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I've gotten rejected enough that I've already become desensitized to it. I just don't bother anymore because my attitude is "why waste my time?" I've been told by more than one woman that I'm just unattractive so why waste my time when I know what the outcome will be?

 

[Frito Bandito]

An epiphany indeed, plus I can go out and just be mean to people

Rumor has it that going out and acting like a complete fool and literally attempting to get blown out of the water has resulted in many a lay!

It's the air of "dontgiveafuckedness" that will be wofting off of you!

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Frito Bandito: I guess that is what people want to believe. However, is it really rejection if you get laid out of it? Then again, it would be fun to see if I can get a female to take me home. Then walk her to the door and then go home.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't get told I'm unattractive. I get told I'm nice, and geeky, and all the other stuff that women don't want.

As a result, I typically don't think a girl would want to go out with me. It's just not realistic.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@LeaningIntoTheMuse: So why not go out, try and fail? What is better than confirming what you already know?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What's the point in confirming it? I already know it!

If anything, it's wasting time that could be better spent on other activities.

 

[passage]

Ya, don't get so sad/depressed every time a woman doesnt fancy your advances. But, in some social settings its better not to take the chance, because if it turns out bad it can effect your social life. Ex) I probably said some dirty things to a girl about a month ago, and now none of her (plenty) friends talk or even look at me, or give me dirty looks. Now I don't care, but for some people that could be too much.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@LeaningIntoTheMuse: Why not believe that it might be false?