I heard this numerous times before, I didn't truly understand and believe it until I finally started getting female attention from being confident with myself.
You see, I always had a nerdy look to me, and really, I still do. I have teeth that are slowly decaying, my smile looks goofy, my skin is pale, I look like I'm sixteen (I'm 21 by the way), and my face has features that aren't traditionally (to media standards) what some would say is SEXY. However, I've had women tell me "you're cute" or, "you're really sexy". Despite not fitting a traditional mould, I've made it work. How do you ask? Well. I groom myself, I make sure I'm bathed, I consistently brush my teeth, I wear casual clothes that I find comfortable, I make sure my clothes are clean, I excercise, in other words, I take care of myself.
And what if I didn't?
I've went out before having not shaved, wearing clothes I wore the night before and I've even went as far to have not brushed my teeth. I still got the same results because I was confident enough to tell myself, you're a sexy ************, and thus women picked up on that and felt the same way.
What I'm getting at is... Looks don't mean ****! Seriously.
Now, to be honest, it's VERY hard to be an ugly mother ****** if you're a man. Really it is. Unless you're deformed to the point of looking like the elephant man (which I even believe could still pick up SOME women if he worked at it), then you're in the clear. You're able to attract ALOT of beautiful women.
Thing is, the "looks matter" is a cop out. It works like this, a man approachs a woman, she rejects him, he figures since it's the logical thing to do, the rejection was because he wasn't attractive enough. Why would he think this way? Well, we as men judge women on their looks first, then take everything else secondary. Well, women don't. They MAY say "that guys sexy," **** they may even say, "I only date guys who are body builders," but if that guy who was sexy came up to her asking about dungeons and dragons mumbling the whole time, standing slouched over, pulling out his gameboy offering her tips on the latest Zelda game, she's going to be unattracted completely. Where as us men, if the woman did that who was completely ******* gorgeous, we'd overlook that because we'd only be thinking about how sexy she looks.
So, before I get, "WELL EVEN IF LOOKS DON'T MATTER, I KNOW STATUS DOES. STATUS MEANS HAVING NICE CLOTHES AND MONEY." No it ******* doesn't. Status means LIVING FOR SOMETHING, KNOWING THAT YOU'RE VALUABLE. THAT'S IT. Of course, some will assume you're valuable if you have money, but, if you don't, you can still make it work.
This was a question I always told myself when I was told looks don't really mean a whole lot: "well then how come attractive guys are ALWAYS with attractive women?"
Well, take the social halo theory for instance. Women assume, because he's attractive, he has all the OTHER sexy traits that TRULY attract her. However, say this SUPER sexy guy is also a nice guy who does EVERYTHING for her. A lot of the times, a lot of conflict occurs, she finds herself less and less attracted to him, and it results in her cheating and leaving him, or marriage. Haha. (I took some of that from the dating coach David DeAngelo's ebook).
Also, when I saw a guy who I thought was traditionally ugly in terms of physical looks with a woman I considered gorgeous, I figured, "well he has nicer teeth than me, and he wears nice clothes so that's how he did it," I would obsess about keeping my teeth looking as nice as possible, and go on shopping binges for the most stylish clothes. I still had no results with women apart from female friends saying, "nice shirt." ********.
So, WHAT DO LOOKS MEAN THEN? They mean that you get a better interview with the woman to be "possibly selected" by her. But, that's about it. Sure, the guy who has NO GAME might get lucky once in awhile, but fundamentally, he will also probably have a lot of bleh relationships if he doesn't feel valuable, and in turn, feel pretty bad until he values himself.
See, I have a friend Chris, this guy is super quiet, doesn't really socialize much, but girls tell him he's "sexy." Naturally, he has male model looks. Girls think he's gorgeous. However, this guy will have a lot of girls who are mediocre chasing after him, and girls who we would say are gorgeous interested in him. However, EVERYTIME Chris ever pursued these girls who we consider gorgeous, he did everything an "ugly" (note the qoutation marks) nice guy would do. Buy her drinks, shower her with gifts and listen to whatever she told him in hopes of getting somewhere. He gets rejected. Why? Because he doesn't see himself as being REALLY VALUABLE and thus, he's not confident.
What's sexy then?
If you got anything out of this thus far, FEELING VALUABLE = CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE IS THE SEXIEST TRAIT A MAN CAN HAVE. So, you could look like lurch, have twenty dollars to your name, but if you're valuable and women see you that way through your confidence, you're a sexy ************ to women. Really.
Looks don't ******* matter. Confidence does.
You see, I always had a nerdy look to me, and really, I still do. I have teeth that are slowly decaying, my smile looks goofy, my skin is pale, I look like I'm sixteen (I'm 21 by the way), and my face has features that aren't traditionally (to media standards) what some would say is SEXY. However, I've had women tell me "you're cute" or, "you're really sexy". Despite not fitting a traditional mould, I've made it work. How do you ask? Well. I groom myself, I make sure I'm bathed, I consistently brush my teeth, I wear casual clothes that I find comfortable, I make sure my clothes are clean, I excercise, in other words, I take care of myself.
And what if I didn't?
I've went out before having not shaved, wearing clothes I wore the night before and I've even went as far to have not brushed my teeth. I still got the same results because I was confident enough to tell myself, you're a sexy ************, and thus women picked up on that and felt the same way.
What I'm getting at is... Looks don't mean ****! Seriously.
Now, to be honest, it's VERY hard to be an ugly mother ****** if you're a man. Really it is. Unless you're deformed to the point of looking like the elephant man (which I even believe could still pick up SOME women if he worked at it), then you're in the clear. You're able to attract ALOT of beautiful women.
Thing is, the "looks matter" is a cop out. It works like this, a man approachs a woman, she rejects him, he figures since it's the logical thing to do, the rejection was because he wasn't attractive enough. Why would he think this way? Well, we as men judge women on their looks first, then take everything else secondary. Well, women don't. They MAY say "that guys sexy," **** they may even say, "I only date guys who are body builders," but if that guy who was sexy came up to her asking about dungeons and dragons mumbling the whole time, standing slouched over, pulling out his gameboy offering her tips on the latest Zelda game, she's going to be unattracted completely. Where as us men, if the woman did that who was completely ******* gorgeous, we'd overlook that because we'd only be thinking about how sexy she looks.
So, before I get, "WELL EVEN IF LOOKS DON'T MATTER, I KNOW STATUS DOES. STATUS MEANS HAVING NICE CLOTHES AND MONEY." No it ******* doesn't. Status means LIVING FOR SOMETHING, KNOWING THAT YOU'RE VALUABLE. THAT'S IT. Of course, some will assume you're valuable if you have money, but, if you don't, you can still make it work.
This was a question I always told myself when I was told looks don't really mean a whole lot: "well then how come attractive guys are ALWAYS with attractive women?"
Well, take the social halo theory for instance. Women assume, because he's attractive, he has all the OTHER sexy traits that TRULY attract her. However, say this SUPER sexy guy is also a nice guy who does EVERYTHING for her. A lot of the times, a lot of conflict occurs, she finds herself less and less attracted to him, and it results in her cheating and leaving him, or marriage. Haha. (I took some of that from the dating coach David DeAngelo's ebook).
Also, when I saw a guy who I thought was traditionally ugly in terms of physical looks with a woman I considered gorgeous, I figured, "well he has nicer teeth than me, and he wears nice clothes so that's how he did it," I would obsess about keeping my teeth looking as nice as possible, and go on shopping binges for the most stylish clothes. I still had no results with women apart from female friends saying, "nice shirt." ********.
So, WHAT DO LOOKS MEAN THEN? They mean that you get a better interview with the woman to be "possibly selected" by her. But, that's about it. Sure, the guy who has NO GAME might get lucky once in awhile, but fundamentally, he will also probably have a lot of bleh relationships if he doesn't feel valuable, and in turn, feel pretty bad until he values himself.
See, I have a friend Chris, this guy is super quiet, doesn't really socialize much, but girls tell him he's "sexy." Naturally, he has male model looks. Girls think he's gorgeous. However, this guy will have a lot of girls who are mediocre chasing after him, and girls who we would say are gorgeous interested in him. However, EVERYTIME Chris ever pursued these girls who we consider gorgeous, he did everything an "ugly" (note the qoutation marks) nice guy would do. Buy her drinks, shower her with gifts and listen to whatever she told him in hopes of getting somewhere. He gets rejected. Why? Because he doesn't see himself as being REALLY VALUABLE and thus, he's not confident.
What's sexy then?
If you got anything out of this thus far, FEELING VALUABLE = CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE IS THE SEXIEST TRAIT A MAN CAN HAVE. So, you could look like lurch, have twenty dollars to your name, but if you're valuable and women see you that way through your confidence, you're a sexy ************ to women. Really.
Looks don't ******* matter. Confidence does.
