Getting over someone you truly do love.

[Ursus Veritas]

For the past while i've been trying to get over someone i do truly love.

Anyone ever truly get past it?

 

[bugzapper]

For the past while i've been trying to get over someone i do truly love.

Anyone ever truly get past it?

Yes... you learn to live and not dwell... but part of that person will stay with you always. Itll be ok...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Not really. It's like a thron in my side or a pebble in my fucken shoes sometimes.
It dosn't hit me all the time..but when it dose, it dose.
Yeah you learn how to live and cope with it.
Actaully i just accept it as part of breathing. I stopped fighting it. Makes for less conflicts
within myself. Sometimes when I think of her, I feel like crying becuase i miss her very much..
so I allow myself to cry in private. I don't really have control when she's going to pop into my mind.
Sometimes..I just write about her in my journal...I have to leave it somewhere or alone for the moment
so that I may continue on the bussiness of living.
Other times I just wish all the best for her. I know she still loves me or have feelings for me as I do for her.
Sometimes I just let her go or tell myself to. Yeah..I try not to dewell on it..but go with the flow

There's like tools or suggestions people say to do.
Like picture that person as being ugly or remember thier worst moments and stuff like that.
But I truely love her...so I don't go there....
Actaully I did...I tried to convience myself to hate her or learn to hate her. It didn't work for me.
There's not a part of me that hates her. That's when I came to my conclusion of just accepting that I'm
always going to love her...That's how it is for me. So I can only speak for myself on this matter.

 

[Danielle]

yes, you will get past it. It's not easy, and i do agree with BugZapper, that person will always have a place in your heart... but that intense feeling of love, and now despair will leave you. It may sound so cliche, but time really does heal. Take this time to do things you enjoy.. take up a hobby, read a lot of books.. do whatever it is that you like...

I know the pain you feel, but I also know that you will feel better with time... keep reaching out... you will be ok.

 

[marfles7]

For the past while i've been trying to get over someone i do truly love.

Anyone ever truly get past it?

I have bad news. No.

 

[Danielle]

I promise you.. you will get past it... it may not feel like it, but you do. You just need to give it time...

I have never been married, but i was in a 12 year relationship, and lived with my Ex for 9 of those years... After we split, and he moved out.. I never thought I would get over it... I never thought I would be able to live without him, I never thought that I would be able to go through my day without thinking of him...

Keep no contact and learn to live your life again... in time you will move on.

 

[Ursus Veritas]

I promise you.. you will get past it... it may not feel like it, but you do. You just need to give it time...

I have never been married, but i was in a 12 year relationship, and lived with my Ex for 9 of those years... After we split, and he moved out.. I never thought I would get over it... I never thought I would be able to live without him, I never thought that I would be able to go through my day without thinking of him...

Keep no contact and learn to live your life again... in time you will move on.

This cannot apply. I help the person deal with there issues. I feel it would be a greater pain to stop that, because thats just a very bad move. We also share many friends. For the next 3 years, seeing her in my day to day life is very likely.

 

[Danielle]

well then, you will have to adjust to living your life seeing her. I know its not easy. I know it will be very hard.. having to to see her... But you will move past the intense hurt and sadness.

I mean think about it, what about all the people that have been through divorces, and have children. These people still have to see their ex's on a regular basis, and they move on.

Noone is saying that this will be easy... all i am saying is that YES, you will get passed this, but you have to try. Find yourself again, do things you enjoy, make new friends that you can hang out with sometimes.... in time you will be ok.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

While I do agree that it takes time to move on , get over it, move forward...whatever terms you want to use.
Time alone will not heal your wounds. At least it hasn't been that simple for me.

I had to do a lot of soul serching, reserch on relationhips...etc.
First and formost...I had to stop drinking myself to death. i had to recover from that before I would make sense of anything else.
This was the first step of many steps i had to do of loving myself.
My divorce was very devistating to me and there was a child involved. i went on a drinking and partying binge for 2 years to try to
cope with pains of losing my wife and daghter. I went on a run. Running on empty..running high......

The reason why I still love michelle very much is becuase I just do...plus many other factors.
A lot of it has to do with guilt, shame and my spiritaulity.
I love michelle very much...but also at the same time I hated her just the same.
The things that I love most about Michelle were the samethings I love about myself. She can be a very kind, loving and gental human being.
The things i hate the most about Michelle are the very samethings I hated about myself.

In finding myself...I had to see all of me...My assets and my flaws. I'm not a perfect person..I'm far from it.
I had to love myself no matter what and forgive myself. In doing so...I also had to forgive Michelle and love michelle no matter what.
I'm not saying I approve of some of my actions or Michelle's actions...
These are the things that I had to do inorder to turely love me and live in my own skin.
I belive I am a child of god...no more, no less than the moons and stars. I also belive Michelle's is a child of god too.
I belive we are all inter connected or there's god inside everyone of us.
If I hate Michelle..than I hate me. If i love me then I also love michelle.
Unconditional love is not easy...I love Michelle unconditionally without strings.
It means Michelle has free will to live and chose as she pleases...the same free will that my god has granted me.
Freewill dosn't neccesarry means Michelle is going to act right accroding to what I think is right or make wise decisions.
I'm a major fresia up...but my god still loves me inspite of it all..inspite of me.
I love michelle inspite of it all, inspite of her and inspite of me. I truely love her. Everything on the surface are bumps on the roads to me.
At the end of the day..at the end of it all..I will still love her forever. It's becuase I love myself forever and god loves me forever.

Just becuase I turely love her...dosn't neccesarry mean it's a healthy thing for me to do to live with her...not today.
I don't belive I can put myself through another toxic relationship or with someone's that's intoxicated. I'm not saying Michelle is a bad person for getting wasted.
I'm just saying i can't live like that anymore. No more Dr. Jeckly and Mrs. Hyde for me...thank you very fucken much. I still have fucken nightmair from living with Sherry (my ex-gf)
Maybe someday, Maybe next year. Maybe in the next life time. Dose it matter?...a human's life time is but a blink compair to enternity.
I also belive she dose certain things on purpose to get me to hate her..so that I may move on with my life. She loves me that much too.

or i can just keep telling myself..Michelle was just a chick i got pregnant when I was a young man...basically a kid.
I had chicks chasing me by the dozen...She wasn't the only one.
This also crosses my mind. I can play it like that. This also gives me a sense of comfort and releave...cuz I'll get over the fucken ***** in a heart beat with this attitude.lol
It's the role Michelle wants me to play...becuase I'm her badboy. Some fucken gardenia that dosn't love his daughter or is responsible for bringing a life into this world.
I'll take the fall for her. I love her that much too.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think eventually you'll come to peace with it. That's what I hope I will do eventually. He'll always have a place in my heart, even through all the anger and hurt.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

People, in particular the person who I loved, tell me that I have to find another love.

I got lucky and met someone online shortly after the person who I loved left me. So I am doing my best to pursue this new person. I like her a lot, and because I like her so much it eases the pain.

Otherwise you just need to find some other way to pass the time. Find something else to obsess over.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's like a freaken conflict or some insane idea that i bought into.

Love...love..love...love
Love this. Love that.
True love last forever
Love conquard all
God is love
Soulmates
Love yourself first
The opposite of fear is love.
Love is what makes the world gose around
Without love you have nothing.
Being faithful and true to one person.
Getting my freak me on with my one and only.
Making love is not the same as having sex...
Blahh...blahhhh..blahhhh

The conflict within me is that I value the love I have for michelle. True love...The love of my life.
So when I ulter these words out of my mouth " I love you forever" " I will always love you", If I don't
follow through on this...then it fucks with my integrity as a person or being...hence the conflicts.
So when we got a divorce...The guilt and shame. The sense of failure. Not just in losing her.
But also in losing my integrity as a man. I've failed her. I failed me. I've failed god.
And for the lights of me...I havn't been able to resolved that.
Becuase I took an vow. I made a committment...not only to Michelle but also to me and god.
And I've failed. I fell short. A sin is falling short. My shortcoming.

Ok...I can let go of all of that..and just say Michelle was just another chick that came into my life..
Will, it's like another freaken conflict becuase the next woman that comes into my life is just another chick...
Obviously no woman wants to be just another chick that came into my life or next in line.
And on gose with the guilt and shame of me being a womanizer, sexist, all I want is sex from women...blahh..blahh, blaahhh.

If somehow I don't love Michelle...I feel if though I can't truely love another woman...I hope that makesence.
So on gose the cycle of not really getting over her or she'll alway remains a part of me, which is another frreaken
conflict..becuase no woman want to hear I have feelings for my ex-wf.

All of this makes me feel insane at times. I have discomfort or feel DIS-EASE.

****...I think too much sometimes.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: While I may not have ever been married. I can say I completely relate to thinking too much. The woman I loved, S is what I will call her, left me because I did not reciprocate S's feelings with my feelings. I love S a lot. However, now there is someone else, I will call her Y. Someone who I am trying start a new relationship with. However, I still have feelings for the S.

I cannot just write off S either. She was just not another girl in my life. However, I do not want to pass up a chance to feel happy and loved with Y. But I am scared that will push S further away from me. So if S were ever available again she would not want to be with me.

God damned brain and over working itself. God **** feelings that make you happy.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well if you were with Y, being with S wouldn't be in the picture. Unless you leave or cheat on Y. Or unless they both agree to be with you at the same time.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well if you were with Y, being with S wouldn't be in the picture. Unless you leave or cheat on Y. Or unless they both agree to be with you at the same time.

I know and S is with someone else so I should not be thinking about getting with her anyway... love does annoying things to you.

 

[arkitek4]

The irony about breaking of is that sometimes you imagine what if things went well? you know the what if's.

You know, God will never give you what you want, for he will give you what you need.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The god in me gives me what I want, all my desires.

It's me being definite and knowing exactly what i want and not being shameful of it.

The world or universe simply follows all my wish and command . The power of the universe or god don't discrimnate nor declear what is good or bad, good or evil.
I simply create my own reality and truth. I'm where am at becuase it's where I choose to be...

I love Michelle...becuase it's my chioce. i chose to love her. I never needed her.
She can't give me anything what I already don't have.
I'll get over her or let go of her...when I make that chioce. I know this.
It's a rememberacne of love for me. i love her no matter what is also to love myself no matter what.

 

[Xerox]

I feel as if i will never completely get over the one and only girl i have ever loved, maybe only when i find someone new to love.

Its been a long time since we broke up, almost 2 years i think.
I have gotten over it pretty much, but its like theres something that just wont go away, a slight feeling of missing her on certain moments, or memories or images of her smiling that just wont get out of my head, maybe thats normal and i need to live with that, im not really sure.

 

[arkitek4]

2 years? thats some time to get over someone. move on. only a fool would stay if they dont want to anymore.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Xerox: If you spent any significant amount of time with this girl. Then yeah a part of her will never go away. She holds a section of your life. You are always going to want to look back at the good times. No matter how much we may hate someone after we part ways. There was a time when we enjoyed ourselves. There is nothing wrong with enjoying those memories. It is when you let them consume you that things get bad. It is why I am so depressed right now. I am letting the good times with this girl who I can't have consume me. Instead of just looking back on them as happy times.