Getting to the point where Im wishing bad things again

[Fvantom]

I thought I was over this but its back, Im at the point where Im so ******* lonely that Im wishing for bad things to happen to people who "have it all" and somehow feel the need to either bitch about petty **** or brag about how awesome their lives are.

Its a horrible feeling of desperation, but every time I see people talking about plans with their friends or how great their lives are, the only thing I can think of is how awesome it would be if they lost their great happy friendships and had to see what real loneliness is like, not having anyone to talk to, having to rant all your troubles on a forum where no one gives a **** anyway and on top of it all, having to see that everyone around them has the one thing they spend their entire lives trying to find, someone who actually gives a ****.

I hate having this feeling but when you have to watch everybody being happy and not giving a **** about you, its the only thing that can ease the pain

 

[PieBeNice]

If it works what's the problem? Maybe even take it a step further and go on a killing spree.

 

[Fvantom]

You think I want to ******* be this way? Its not some stupid joke, I dont want to have to wish for people to be miserable, I just want to be happy like everyone else around me

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Not stuff ur anger...u know this already...goog for that
.
K..Ive feeling that way too. Lots
of evil **** will cross my mind..
Just like you. Im not getting what I want. Im not where I want nor wish to be.. I did everything in my powers
to make it right It was very important to me.. It all went to ****.
.without my fucken permission.
No one will undersand it.
No one in my life or on here can
really give a **** about it oneway
or the other.

I get into self destructive behaviors
tendencies when I get like this.
Ive self destructed and hurt mysself before..cuase deep down inside
I wish not to hurt anyone else..


I have friends. and family I have a gf even...but its not what I want and where .I want to be..

My duaghters love for me is the only
thing thats keeping holding on.
She called me today ..thank god for that.

---

K....may I make a suggestion?

Its been helping me....enough for
me to have a GF inspite of my
fucken crazy life and all the **** that
just went down..

I been using the SEDONA method.
BE happy...is where you wanna have or
be? This will assist you of getting there.

K...ur not as sick as me. Cuz Im very
picky and particular about certain
things and what I want....

If this sedana stuff can give me something to be able to meet a chick
and have her live with me. Even as **** up as I may feel at times Maybe
it might help you get a partner too.

Other than that...I am just a total
mother fuken stud..

---

K..so no one gives a ****.

Can u try to work this happiness
stuff from the inside out...for a change. And trust in this process?
Cuz that how happy do it...
If you want what happy have..
Do what happy do...

Relationds and all the good stuff
will come. Its like a by product.

Fill ur mind with happy thougts.
Displace or disburst the negative thoughts
Do this **** everyday...all fucken
day.
Do something for urself everyday.
Little things big things..doSnt matter.
.
Get out of ur house for an hour
Every fucken day.

Say Hi or Hello to someone wiht
a smile on our face...everyday..
No deep conversations...if someone
wanna talk to U great..if not oH
fucken will...But do this **** everyday.

Excercize every fucken day...walk. Jog.
or what ever....

If ur hitting the fuken crack pipe..
break that bitch.. If ur hitting the
bottle. Get of all that ****...
Get rid of whatever fucken roadblocks
Every fucken day....

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dude...my gf is pretty wiht big
ass titays.. other dudes be wanting
her.. But I m not happy....

See..how ****** up I am?

Just becuase you see couple
together holging hands or
doing whatever thr **** theyre
doing...dosnt neccesary mean
theyre fucken happy. I an example
of that....

but if you wanna get a chick...
follow the fucken instructions...
cuz i didnt make that **** up.

 

[beans]

I thought I was over this but its back, Im at the point where Im so ******* lonely that Im wishing for bad things to happen to people who "have it all" and somehow feel the need to either bitch about petty **** or brag about how awesome their lives are.

Its a horrible feeling of desperation, but every time I see people talking about plans with their friends or how great their lives are, the only thing I can think of is how awesome it would be if they lost their great happy friendships and had to see what real loneliness is like, not having anyone to talk to, having to rant all your troubles on a forum where no one gives a **** anyway and on top of it all, having to see that everyone around them has the one thing they spend their entire lives trying to find, someone who actually gives a ****.

I hate having this feeling but when you have to watch everybody being happy and not giving a **** about you, its the only thing that can ease the pain

Yeah, but I didn't have the guts to openly admit this, not even on a forum where I am anonymous. Not everyone experiences loneliness, some just seem to be born into having everything. I used to think about it a whole lot. But I realized I spent more time thinking about things I hate, things I don't want than actually what I want (I know you think about it too) but also how to get what I want.

There are thousands of thoughts that we have in a day but are we thinking? There's a difference between having thoughts and thinking.

If you don't want to be lonely, how do you think you can change that?

Let us know, we'll try to help.

 

[Pheenix]

No one are born into loneliness, generally speaking. Some people pull themselves together and get it under control, others don't.

 

[beans]

No one are born into loneliness, generally speaking. Some people pull themselves together and get it under control, others don't.

I disagree. Let's say you are very hot looking. Attractive people have a lot of friends around them even if they are quiet and boring. Maybe you grew up in a big family, you have lots of cousins and relatives and your family is close knitted. It's like they all get together every weekend for BBQ, dinner, sports, etc. That doesn't mean you wouldn't be lonely but it's better than someone who has a small family, lives in a rural area where there are more animals than humans, etc.

 

[Ak5]

I had the same thing happening to me for a while. I was just very pissed off about not having anyone. Then I realized, when I make friends and when I get a girlfriend, I wouldn't want anyone thinking bad things about me; so I stopped

 

[PieBeNice]

You think I want to ******* be this way? Its not some stupid joke, I dont want to have to wish for people to be miserable, I just want to be happy like everyone else around me

No you.

 

[unlucky in life]

I thought I was over this but its back, Im at the point where Im so ******* lonely that Im wishing for bad things to happen to people who "have it all" and somehow feel the need to either bitch about petty **** or brag about how awesome their lives are.

Its a horrible feeling of desperation, but every time I see people talking about plans with their friends or how great their lives are, the only thing I can think of is how awesome it would be if they lost their great happy friendships and had to see what real loneliness is like, not having anyone to talk to, having to rant all your troubles on a forum where no one gives a **** anyway and on top of it all, having to see that everyone around them has the one thing they spend their entire lives trying to find, someone who actually gives a ****.

I hate having this feeling but when you have to watch everybody being happy and not giving a **** about you, its the only thing that can ease the pain

i know what you mean i know like that too.there people who mean to complain how bad they life i don't think know how bad life like like it is for us

 

[VanillaCreme]

No one are born into loneliness, generally speaking. Some people pull themselves together and get it under control, others don't.

I agree. Being lonely is more of a feeling. Even if you are physically alone, it doesn't mean you will feel lonely. Some people can deal with it, some can't. However, wishing bad on other people will not solve how you feel. Don't have those bad, heavy feelings in your heart as well as loneliness. Be light on others, and that lightheartedness can make you feel better about your situation.

 

[Darkness]

I thought I was over this but its back, Im at the point where Im so ******* lonely that Im wishing for bad things to happen to people who "have it all" and somehow feel the need to either bitch about petty **** or brag about how awesome their lives are.

Its a horrible feeling of desperation, but every time I see people talking about plans with their friends or how great their lives are, the only thing I can think of is how awesome it would be if they lost their great happy friendships and had to see what real loneliness is like, not having anyone to talk to, having to rant all your troubles on a forum where no one gives a **** anyway and on top of it all, having to see that everyone around them has the one thing they spend their entire lives trying to find, someone who actually gives a ****.

I hate having this feeling but when you have to watch everybody being happy and not giving a **** about you, its the only thing that can ease the pain

As sad as it sounds to say that I know what you mean. I to have sat down and watch all these people living wonderful lives and having fun with there friends. Then I wish all of that would get ripped away from them so they can see how much it hurts to be neglected or judged.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Wish bad **** to happen to other people or having evil thoughts....
dosnt mean beans..
Its just **** goiing in your head...
maybe its just a way your mind is
revolving your anger..
It s not a fucken moral issue.

Its the same as having positive
thoughts..it dosnt mean ****
until you take positive ACTIONS.