Hangups with popularity and social interaction

[Phaedron]

Actually I learned to embrace being the rebel, the outcast, the misfit, as throughout school that is what I was. I often wonder if being popular in a forum full of lonely people isn't paradoxical to those notions.

Now even today I still have this high school mentality about popularity. I see people and social groups and they seem so connected, but I always feel this is not for me, and stumble my way through chaotically, making friends and enemies along the way, in fact im pretty good at destroying everything good in my life.

This issue may in fact prevent me from connecting to others. I try to be humble, devoted, and I enjoy helping others if I can with friendship or saying something positive, but somehow I just never click.

I have actually grown to resent those who are popular, but at the same I know it just means they have been successful at becoming somebody in their established social group. So why the hate? Why the jealousy? I don't know...

I'm not sure I really get this place either, but I like the idea of a place where we try to help those who are down. I see people with a lot of reputation, most of which is probably due to being popular. I currently have 5, but those 5 I earned by offering the right advice at the right time and actually making a positive impression on the people I was trying to help.

I don't know what I'm saying here... I'm just pointing out my hangups with social interaction and looking for suggestions to improve my situation I guess. I'm not looking to be popular or anything, just to be a good friend and not hated for being different, I guess.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Comparing and competing yourself with other ultimately leads to this.
You're constantly trying to out do, out smart, out wit others. There will come a day when you run into someone that
can out smart you, out do you. Ultimately it'll leave you with a sence of not being good enough.

Do you enjoy helping others because it makes you feel superiority to them, which is why people don't wanna click with ya or you're a turn off
to other people...that's an impression people get. You might have other impression about this matter...but you're not a mind read.
Poeple wishes to have their own freedom of chioce and not other pople to give them answers just as much as you do.
They want to be wanted and love for who they are just as much as you do.
Is it clear that it's just manipulations. Being popular will manipulate people to like you?
Is your sence of being superity just a mask, vail, delusionments of your poor self esteem? Is there a part of you that still have resevations
about this matter. Do you have self- presevations by reading this?

Love yourself in a non egotistic way. IDK

Hate is hate is hate is hate is hate...whether it's you hating others, yourself or anything.
Kind of like "nothing to fear but fear itself"..fear is fear is fear is fear is fear no matter what form it arrive from.

You're not separated from truth or love...the belive that you are will leave you with a belive of lack.
Wanting to be popular is just another form of earning love.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

you can't be everything to all people..

bless the ones that are a lot to many..

i was asked once, "what are you, some sort of rebel?" by a woman i worked with because i stood my ground and demanded my - legally entitled to - 15min break for working 5hrs straight, so i could go and have a ****** smoko. i was the only one that smoked and everyone else just worked through their break. it was a slave factory and it was a supermarket.

the store manager was breathing down my neck, standing nose to nose and threatening me with the sack because i didn't want to work the next day because "i was tired" lol.. we eventually negotiated that i would come in IF i got my break. that was a rush.

see some people have affable natures and the genuine source shines through.

energy.

i'm grateful that that energy exists and that it's expressed in others. there is no competition there. no jealousy or envy that grows into sabotaging action.

its all about love.

ok, and maybe some pixies chillin in the garden smokin' fatty boombatties.

all good.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, why care about it? I was never the one to be popular, but I tend to know everyone. Whenever someone thinks that something is a popularity race, I always say, "This isn't high school anymore." Shooting for being popular is for someone who cares about nothing else in life.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

Well, why care about it? I was never the one to be popular, but I tend to know everyone. Whenever someone thinks that something is a popularity race, I always say, "This isn't high school anymore." Shooting for being popular is for someone who cares about nothing else in life.

you can care about other things too. it's just a competative energy that can bring about unhappy feelings.

i think it stems from wanting to be accepted and liked/loved. very human.

it's hard to realise that you have to be yourself even if others don't like you sometimes. harder still to find the balance between what are the traits you may have that you will not compromise on and which ones need 'tweaking'.

our desire to feel connected can take strange turns in us, but we have the chance to learn and change whilst we are still here. that's the gift.

saying 'why care' to me reminds me of someone once saying to me that depression was 'a waste of time'. it didn't really help me a whole bunch.

no fault with intention though :]

 

[EveWasFramed]

Define popular?

I think that sometimes there is just a larger group that have more interests or values in common. People seem to be more comfortable around people who think and feel like they do and they tend to gravitate towards one another. I do know that there are people who SEEK to be "popular" but what motivates this, I have no idea. I was never "popular" but I've been fortunate enough (in certain periods of my life) to find groups of people that I meshed with. Personalities play a huge role in this as well I think. And of course there is really no set rule for any of this...
For example, there are people here, on this forum, that I have very little in common with, but would adore actually hanging out with them in real life. Sometimes, people can gravitate towards people who are very UNLIKE them because they find them interesting.

lol, well OK, all I've done is word-vomit some random meaningless thoughts here so I'll stop for now.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Sometimes, people can gravitate towards people who are very UNLIKE them because they find them interesting.

lol, well OK, all I've done is word-vomit some random meaningless thoughts here so I'll stop for now.

Oh damn, No wonder.......
I should had known and accepted this from the begining.
It makes totally good sense to me.
****s gravitates me. I find them very fansinating. I especailly like
the ones with personalities to them.
It's nothing like me or something i have

 

[VanillaCreme]

For the sake of the ***** and the person, I hope there's a force around anyone with ******* to repel you from touching, Rocket. Not so sure that would stop you though....

 

[Phaedron]

Comparing and competing yourself with other ultimately leads to this.
You're constantly trying to out do, out smart, out wit others. There will come a day when you run into someone that
can out smart you, out do you. Ultimately it'll leave you with a sence of not being good enough.

Do you enjoy helping others because it makes you feel superiority to them, which is why people don't wanna click with ya or you're a turn off
to other people...that's an impression people get.

Is it clear that it's just manipulations. Being popular will manipulate people to like you?

Wanting to be popular is just another form of earning love.

Let me put it this way... when you have been the outcast most of life, and have accepted low self esteem in certain regards, there may come times when the drive to prove your worth is felt strongly.

I don't feel superior to others, I am just a lonely person who is trying to work out his issues here like many others. I am spiritual and philosophical and devote a big portion of my day to the study of such things. I think we are all trying to be positive in our own ways and pool our resources or advice about how to go about doing it and overcoming or living with our problems.

There is a warm feeling of worth that comes from sharing a perspective with someone that helps them in some way, but I genuinely enjoy being able to help when I can. As a child I idolized wise men, teachers, and philosophers and hoped that I'd become someone to shed light on darkness too one day. So I can't deny it's not self gratifying in some respect, but that was never the motive for my words.

"Being popular to manipulate others" I suppose that would be it's bad side. I am of the mind that if someone makes an intellectual point, it should not matter whether its the king telling you, or the peasant. Authority has no influence over whether the point is or is not true. Same with entertainment, I either like or dislike something because I like or dislike it. I refuse to embrace it or hate it simply because popular interest is involved. When someone says something, I evaluate the something and completely ignore the authority or lack thereof behind it.

There are people who won't do or like certain things because maintaining an image is involved. I would rather have no image, then deny what I really feel and my real interests. In that way popularity can become a dire evil mold of conformity. So yeah, its a pretty deep issue that applies to a lot of different things throughout all time.

It even applies to love. When a couple part ways because their partner is despised or hated by their friends and family. Once again we have the theme of outside influences polluting the truth of what is there. As a seeker of truth I must oppose this mentality at all times.

In other cases being popular is simply a measure of good success.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

There's being, then there's wanting.

Will you allow yourself to let go of the wanting?
Would you ranther want or have?

Can you act as if you're popular already?
Can you act as if all of your hopes and dreams had came true already?
Can you act as if you're loved, whole and complete already?
Can you act as if you're more than deserving, more than good enough?

Allow yourself. Give yourself a break.

mmmmm..don't make friends so you can be happy. It's simply a limited condition/hang up you're imposing upon yourself.
Rather, BE happy. ...it'll be a natrual process of attracting poeple into your life.
If you chose to be happy first....then you don't have to compair or compete no longer.

 

[Phaedron]

Would you ranther want or have?

Can you act as if you're loved, whole and complete already?
Can you act as if you're more than deserving, more than good enough?

Allow yourself. Give yourself a break.

"Sometimes wanting is better then having. It is not logical, but it is often true," -Spock. (not verbatim. in the episode exploring his ponfar)

This is very good advice, crow, and is the basis of utilizing universal laws such as the law of attraction. I am for the most part, content with being alone, and content with my solitude. Still it is nice to know ones place, where one stands, and to what one aspires.

Finally, I don't think its possible for me to be positive or negative all the time.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm not trying to give advice...it's something that's been passed on to me.
It's applying these simple principles into my life. There's been positive results.
It's nothing new to me. I havn't been consistant at it and a bit rusty.
I do know it works if i allow myself and put forth the effort.
It sounded a bit corney to me at first...never the less I was willing and openminded enough to try.
Now did I get to that piont? I got sick and tired of wanting to live the good life.

True we all have desires. it's something we can use to our benfits or downfall.
I am for me and against no one.

Knowing where you stand is healthy. Coming to your own conclusion or truth...this too is very healthy.

 

[dontwant2beelonely]

I have been over the popularity thing, its too much stress.