Has anyone succesfully moved away?

[Tiger lily]

Hi I really need to move away from my home town make a new start before my life passes me by. Is it normal to feel you NEED to move to another town in order to feel like your living your own life. This is certainly how I feel. I want to move to a part of the uk which appeals to me more, however, the trouble is I wont have the support of my family (not that they wont let me o but just in that I won't have them around). I don't have any idea of work and I don't want to struggle financially (at the mo I can save money).

It seems the reasons why most people move is for uni or for moving in with their partners, also getting new employment but I don't really have a career path as such a I am not ambious, i create art in my space time which makes me happy. If I had a partner to move with I wouldn't think twice as Id have some support but with me being alone I find it almost impossible to consider even though I really want that new start. Why do I find it so hard when other people do it frequently? I feel I am quite a free spirited person would love to try many things but I already feel lonley with no friends, moving away would make me feel even more cut off.

 

[Limlim]

Military brat here, moved every 3 years or so growing up so I never put roots down anywhere. Now that I am an adult I couldn't stand to even live in the same apartment for that long.

Anyway as much as it goes against your lack of ambition, a job is pretty much a requirement before moving somewhere unless you have somewhere you can crash while you wait for callbacks. In terms of family not being there, it's usually just as easy having their support over the phone.

Make a trip to where you want to go and start throwing out resumes, once you land a job, find an apartment or something, pay some movers (or rent a u-haul) and you're good to go.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Well, it really depends on how much you want to move really. Is moving away more important than e.g. having your own room with your own bathroom and all the luxury you have at home?

My ex moved from Sweden to Brussels when she was 18. She started as an au pair, living in with a family in Aalst. After about half a year she got a family in Brussels, moved in with them but basically had her own studio in their house (own bathroom, tv, ...). After that she even lived on her own for about a year and a half in Brussels, in a nice room in a shared house. She worked mostly as an au pair/nanny/babysitter, but she did other things too. Took up a french class and got quite good at it, and she also took classes at the open university. She did all that and she's really not the adventurous type, more the 'I-need-to-plan-everything-in-advance' kind of girl

It really depends on what you want to have when you move. If you want to have all the comfort that you're used to at home, then I guess you need to be sure of some kind of nice job before you move. Otherwise you can just pack the things you have and start the adventure with that. There's plenty of organisations that can help or where you can meet new people so you won't be completely lonely.

 

[Tiger lily]

Military brat here, moved every 3 years or so growing up so I never put roots down anywhere. Now that I am an adult I couldn't stand to even live in the same apartment for that long.

Anyway as much as it goes against your lack of ambition, a job is pretty much a requirement before moving somewhere unless you have somewhere you can crash while you wait for callbacks. In terms of family not being there, it's usually just as easy having their support over the phone.

Make a trip to where you want to go and start throwing out resumes, once you land a job, find an apartment or something, pay some movers (or rent a u-haul) and you're good to go.

I feel I'm too scared to make this move alone though, how can I think differently. I would hate to think Ive cut ties with everyone and I know how hard it is to make new friends, I've still not managed to make any in 3 years since I left university. I meet people but they all have their own friends already and don't seem to want to involve me. I'm worried I feel this even more in an alien town. I want to feel I have my own life. Nothing seems to work. Ive thought id build my life up here in my home town for stability but I'm still not happy. I'm not sure how to fix things at all.

---

Well, it really depends on how much you want to move really. Is moving away more important than e.g. having your own room with your own bathroom and all the luxury you have at home?

My ex moved from Sweden to Brussels when she was 18. She started as an au pair, living in with a family in Aalst. After about half a year she got a family in Brussels, moved in with them but basically had her own studio in their house (own bathroom, tv, ...). After that she even lived on her own for about a year and a half in Brussels, in a nice room in a shared house. She worked mostly as an au pair/nanny/babysitter, but she did other things too. Took up a french class and got quite good at it, and she also took classes at the open university. She did all that and she's really not the adventurous type, more the 'I-need-to-plan-everything-in-advance' kind of girl

It really depends on what you want to have when you move. If you want to have all the comfort that you're used to at home, then I guess you need to be sure of some kind of nice job before you move. Otherwise you can just pack the things you have and start the adventure with that. There's plenty of organisations that can help or where you can meet new people so you won't be completely lonely.

Unfortunately Im not very ambicous even though I am a designer, I don't really enjoy my job. It feels isolating and would prefer a less skilled job which was ore sociable (these jobs don't pay well though)

I want to move to a new city to feel like I'm pursuing my own life, and to have real independance. I hoping a new start might help me meet a partner too as being in my home town since I left uni has got me no-where in terms of meeting someone Id like to be with. I always meet negative minded men where I want some who is forward thinking and enjoys adventure as I do. I'm wondering whether its because Im in my home town still and not happy as to why I don't get any interest from interesting guys. People say things should always feel right before you do them, so make small changes, I'm still not ready to move, i feel that by the time i do feel right ill be 30 and still not met anyone

 

[Tigershark]

I feel like what you're describing is just a whole lot of fear. Which is okay, I just feel like maybe you're afraid of a little too much. Sometimes you have to take chances to create chances. Though, moving to another country is a huge step for someone who sounds a little insecure, & definitely terrified. Start with some smaller things. Maybe consider looking into other careers first, you sound very unhappy with yours. Perhaps instead of moving to the UK right from the get-go, consider a shorter move, maybe to the closest large city. Don't put all your eggs in one basket! If you take some smaller risks instead of one big risk, you're more likely to have something positive things come of it, & maybe you'll feel more ready for that big one. =)

 

[Tiger lily]

I feel like what you're describing is just a whole lot of fear. Which is okay, I just feel like maybe you're afraid of a little too much. Sometimes you have to take chances to create chances. Though, moving to another country is a huge step for someone who sounds a little insecure, & definitely terrified. Start with some smaller things. Maybe consider looking into other careers first, you sound very unhappy with yours. Perhaps instead of moving to the UK right from the get-go, consider a shorter move, maybe to the closest large city. Don't put all your eggs in one basket! If you take some smaller risks instead of one big risk, you're more likely to have something positive things come of it, & maybe you'll feel more ready for that big one. =)

I am in the UK already my fear was moving to another town, they is no where that nice round here so would have to be atleast 3 hours drive away.

 

[Phedoiken]

It also depends on your definition of sucessful. I would say my move has been sucessful, others would not. I had friends in my home town, was never bored or alone, but the problem was we'd be out getting inebriated every other day, and generally poncing around. I had a dead end job and very little hope for the future, since moving, I've starting working out, drinking/smoking less, and now have a decent job prospect within the military. Sure, I still talk to my old friends occasionally, but they're not around when I'm up (time difference). So I'm now with fewer friends (A.K.A all of 3) but my future looks brighter than ever, so I'd rank that a sucessful move.

However, I found the easiest way to do it was once I set my mind to it, I just didn't think about it. I know it seems like sort of a juvenile thing to do, but it only really hit me when I was finally on the plane, and had lots of time to think about it. I view it now as sort of like bungie jumping, don't think just jump (of course this applied to me, and it determined on how much you actually want [or need] to move).

Hope that helps a little, I'm not sure if it actually makes sense.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Tiger Lily,

What's going on with you? Your threads are rather repetetive and I was wondering if we could discuss this matter further.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I moved from upstate New York to California in '99. Packed up my car and drove 5 days cross country by myself. I was married at that time and my husband had already moved out here 6 months prior. We later split up but I stayed here and never regretted it. I left a small town where everyone knows everyone else and there are few job opportunities. I have a standard of living here that I would never have back there and life is good. I say, if you have a means to support yourself, go for it.

Teresa

 

[Tiger lily]

Tiger Lily,

What's going on with you? Your threads are rather repetetive and I was wondering if we could discuss this matter further.

Yes, I guese I am asking similiar questions its just that coming on here is like a last resort. I've been trying to figure this out for about 3 years now, (time is ticking by)I dont know whether I should be moving away or trying to find a partner in my home town, I feel so unsettled and I cant find the answer in anything I do no matter how many clubs activities i join.

All my friends have moved away and I feel very alone.

 

[Aberlee]

If you want to make a good life you need to have "AMBITION" To say you aren't ambitious is admitting you don't want to make the effort to create the life you want. No one but YOU will ever do the work it takes to make a successful go of life. You can type out the same questions on 10 different threads but no one will have your answers. People move successfully every day of the week for as many reasons as there are people having the reasons. If you want something you have to have the ambition to work for it, one way or another.

 

[Tiger lily]

If you want to make a good life you need to have "AMBITION" To say you aren't ambitious is admitting you don't want to make the effort to create the life you want. No one but YOU will ever do the work it takes to make a successful go of life. You can type out the same questions on 10 different threads but no one will have your answers. People move successfully every day of the week for as many reasons as there are people having the reasons. If you want something you have to have the ambition to work for it, one way or another.

Hi Aberlee, Thanks for your reply. When I say I'm not very ambitious I ment in terms of career. I'm not ambitious in that respect no, but I don't think you need to be a "go getter" in order to have a happy life. I have priorities in other areas.

The thing which is holding me back is that I am unware of what it is I need to do to be happy that's why I keep trying different stuff all the time like a pin ball machine, (so I am being pro-active in searching) but I'm not hitting on anything. I just feel I've felt unsettled for so long and its fustrating how nothing is feeling right.

 

[Aberlee]

Look at what you actually LIKE to do and see if there is a way to roll that into a career path. If that doesn't work then just keep trying. You'll hit on the right plan eventually. It takes awhile for some of us. In the mean time, be happy you have the opportunity to make these decisions and choices. There are a lot of people in the world who have NO choices. A person born in poverty with no eyesight and disabled legs has a lot less opportunity to make choices than you... Sometimes it just helps to take inventory of all you do have, to see things aren't as bad as they feel in the moment.

 

[Tiger lily]

Look at what you actually LIKE to do and see if there is a way to roll that into a career path. If that doesn't work then just keep trying. You'll hit on the right plan eventually. It takes awhile for some of us. In the mean time, be happy you have the opportunity to make these decisions and choices. There are a lot of people in the world who have NO choices. A person born in poverty with no eyesight and disabled legs has a lot less opportunity to make choices than you... Sometimes it just helps to take inventory of all you do have, to see things aren't as bad as they feel in the moment.

Your right. Thanks.

 

[slappopkarl]

Hi I really need to move away from my home town make a new start before my life passes me by. Is it normal to feel you NEED to move to another town in order to feel like your living your own life. This is certainly how I feel. I want to move to a part of the uk which appeals to me more, however, the trouble is I wont have the support of my family (not that they wont let me o but just in that I won't have them around). I don't have any idea of work and I don't want to struggle financially (at the mo I can save money).

It seems the reasons why most people move is for uni or for moving in with their partners, also getting new employment but I don't really have a career path as such a I am not ambious, i create art in my space time which makes me happy. If I had a partner to move with I wouldn't think twice as Id have some support but with me being alone I find it almost impossible to consider even though I really want that new start. Why do I find it so hard when other people do it frequently? I feel I am quite a free spirited person would love to try many things but I already feel lonley with no friends, moving away would make me feel even more cut off.

I really felt like it once before. I left to the army. Didn't work out. I still feel the same way, its wierd, I wanna be with somone but I want to be alone. A bit crazy. Either way I would say try work with what you got instead of dissapearing.

 

[Rigel]

The nearest descent highschool from my home town was 40 miles away; so instead of a daily 2 hour commute, I've moved out and stayed with my sister, and then by myself at 11th grade; of course my parents paid the rent and other expenses, which wasn't all that much. I've been mostly living by myself since then. All I can tell you is that living all by yourself is a huge confidence builder. you learn a bunch of very useful things, and feel so much more independent, able and secure with what you can do

 

[Tiger lily]

Hmm I do agree wit what Aberlee said, however I can't help but think this mind set can also hold you back. I see many other people move to the places they want to be (in fact most people these days seem to move away) get that independance and are happy, I just wish I didn't find it so difficult.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Tiger Lily,

What's going on with you? Your threads are rather repetetive and I was wondering if we could discuss this matter further.

Yes, I guese I am asking similiar questions its just that coming on here is like a last resort. I've been trying to figure this out for about 3 years now, (time is ticking by)I dont know whether I should be moving away or trying to find a partner in my home town, I feel so unsettled and I cant find the answer in anything I do no matter how many clubs activities i join.

All my friends have moved away and I feel very alone.

Why can't I PM you?

 

[Tiger lily]

Tiger Lily,

What's going on with you? Your threads are rather repetetive and I was wondering if we could discuss this matter further.

Yes, I guese I am asking similiar questions its just that coming on here is like a last resort. I've been trying to figure this out for about 3 years now, (time is ticking by)I dont know whether I should be moving away or trying to find a partner in my home town, I feel so unsettled and I cant find the answer in anything I do no matter how many clubs activities i join.

All my friends have moved away and I feel very alone.

Why can't I PM you?

Im not sure...I may not have enough posts.

 

[Mr. Sir]

PM me then.