Help! I almost drowned from a wave of lonliness!

[WishingWell]

I originally joined this Forum more out of boredom than lonliness.

Since I haven't been in a relationship for 7 1/2 years now, I thought somehow I conquered the feeling.

I am disabled from epilepsy and some mental issues since 7/85 since a lot of you readers know by now. Also, I live with my Mom in a basement apartment in my Sister's Family's house, and we mostly stick to ourselves except for meals since we don't have a kitchen sink or stove.

Last night, my Mom went out to dinner with my Brother and Sister-in-Law. I usually welcome the time alone, just like the time in the morning when I get up early and my Mom sleeps until noon since she goes to bed so late.

However, when I was eating dinner last night, this huge feeling of lonliness swept over me...it was like a wave knocking me down! I hadn't had that feeling in years. I ended up taking my medication and going to bed at 8 p.m.

I actually wished I was in a relationship...I felt the desire and need for talking to and feeling the touch of a man.

My chances of getting into a relationship now, at 53, living in the suburbs where I can't even walk to any place--not even public transportation and I don't drive, having the mental illness issues and living on a fixed income, plus my living arrangements, are really low. I had quite a few dates when I was on singles sites, but nothing really came of them. Those are the guys that gave me a chance and went out with me. Most men when they found out that I was disabled and had low income, disappeared right away.

On this Forum, I have quite a few people I PM with and can call friends. Also, I participate in reading threads, posts, and giving my input in posts, and playing the games on here. It is quite rewarding.

I go to a Social Club on Thursday nights for people with mental illnesses, but there isn't anyone there that is even a prospect for me to go out with. My Sister drives me there and back. I researched other groups, etc. that I could join, but there isn't anything in my area that is like that, whether they be for people with special needs or not.

There is just no way I can think of to meet someone.

This feeling of lonliness now won't go away...it came on so quickly, and now I feel it is a dark cloud over me.

I know! Welcome to reality, right?!

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

 

[I'm Fine]

Not sure that there's much I can suggest. Perhaps try the dating sites again? Even if you don't get someone to spend the rest of your life with, you might find someone to give you a little companionship.

Sorry I can't be more help. Hopefully someone else will come up with a better suggestion. Good luck.

 

[Poueff]

Every advice I could give would be probably classed as pretty retarded,so I won't say them. Just one question,how really close you and your sister are? What is her current condition? That only fact can give you an open to do tons of stuff,so just if he could know,we (I talk for myself though ) could give you more exact advices...

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs wishingwell*

this will pass I promise, the hardest thing about lonlieness and these feelings is that it feels like it'll last forever but it won't

there's still a chance for a relationship, maybe try online dating or something there are many people you're age who are single and looking for someone
maybe go to an animal shelter and comfort some kittens

even in highschool when i was lonelyy, i would sit and watch tv with a stuffed animal, it just felt nice having something soft to hold

i would also like to take long showers and then go to sleep, it always felt nice

the feeling will pass

*hugs*

 

[Sci-Fi]

 

[WishingWell]

Thank you all for you kind replies. I certainly need the HUGS!

Poueff wrote:
Every advice I could give would be probably classed as pretty retarded,so I won't say them. Just one question,how really close you and your sister are? What is her current condition? That only fact can give you an open to do tons of stuff,so just if he could know,we (I talk for myself though ) could give you more exact advices...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Poueff, my Sister and I couldn't be more different.

She has been married for 27 years and has a marriage that most people only dream of--I think though, her husband gives in a little too much to her.

Somtimes, I think she took me in only because I am family and it would be mean to leave me homeless. I know that is not true, but that is a passing thought while she is criticizing me for everything. I usually keep my mouth shut to avoid altercations. My Brother is estranged for me, because my Mom thinks he can't deal with my problems and asks him to go through her with anything pertaining to me.

She is the one that found the Social Club for me on Thursdays while looking on line, so I know deep down inside she loves me. Loving someone and liking someone are quite different though. Another thing she told me is that she believes I should stick with the Social Group and things like this Forum, because knowing me the way she does, she doesn't feel I would be successful in a relationship. I think she doesn't have the time to get to know what I am really like.

So, as far as depending on my Sister for any social activities, no chance there.

I guess, I may--later in the Spring--take a shot at the Singles Site again. It is so hard though--I am not willing to compromise myself by having sex with the guys that will give me a chance and date me...and that was another problem with that.

Well, I will continue to do what I have been doing, at least for now, and that is justing holding on to "HOPE!"

Thanks again!

 

[jales]

I can really imagine your situation. In our family home I had an uncle who lived with my grandmother in a house that was on our property.

He also is single and has some mental problems. I imagine that he must feel lonely since he has only had one relationship in his entire life, which also ended a long time ago. And although he can do things like read and write and cook and clean and function quite normally he can often be treated like a child by my dad (his older brother).

I don't think my uncle will ever enter another relationship.. but you never know.

I think that to be emotionally content most humans desire a person who knows them, who they can tell their secrets to, who they are not afraid to express their thoughts to and who will always be there (or at least be there for a long time).

Often men look for this in women and women look for this in men. To me that person does not have to live in your town or even your country. But I think we all need to make that connection and to have that very close friendship. So I guess my best advice is to search for your friend.

It may be a male, or it may be a female.. I can think of so many people on this website (or who used to visit here....and still do from time to time) who are looking for exactly what I am describing.. so if you are interested in building such a friendship.. I'm sure that it is possible, and I really believe that here is a good place to find it.

 

[WishingWell]

Jales,

Thank you so much!

Acutally, there is someone that belongs to this Forum that I PM with on a regular basis that has helped me keep my sanity for a long time. It is someone who is well known and very knowledgable and I am so very fortunate to have this person in my life.

I would really welcome the chance to make new friends too! I am going to PM you, and see if you would like to correspond!