hi newbie here and in desprate need of some hellp!!

[just*rose]

hi!! please excuse my writing i cant realy write in english that well , anyways i joined this forum thingy cus i need some edvise, im 23 i have no one to talk to im roma gypsy so its vearyy hard to talk to family they have this tradition which i just cant relate!! i need hellp to decide wgat to do im sooo confused i dont no whats right anymore, i have a child and im scared of going wrong way becouse then not will i only sufer but my son too..his only 2 years old his my reason of life i love him beyonde anything on earth his my life!! i love himm so much that i had to protect him from his father!

i know it sounds crazy..but his father who was an angel before turned into the devile he made my life mizerble for 3 years almost i cant remember a day without tears in my eyes..he was abusive and just hell on earth hr hated my parents he made excuses on anything he coulf finde just to fight with me. for my babys safty i broke it off with him, he is now bk in france where he uset to live but he wants to come back he dousnt want to let us go he begs for a chance and sez he was stupid and hates himself for what he did..its sooo hard to be a singlemother and somtimes i just hate myself for not giving my baby his father back! so my question is can a man like him can change? please hellp im scared i mite choose the wrong path and he could take my baby from me! and soo sory for long msg.tanx [/font]

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site.

 

[just*rose]

Welcome to the site

tanx!!! wish it was just for other reason then this one though

 

[murmi97]

I don't know what country you're in, but you may look at some child welfare agency to see if they can set up a supervised parental visit/counseling between you and the father, and maybe give you some expertise and their opinion as to whether or not he's now a even-tempered man.

 

[just*rose]

I don't know what country you're in, but you may look at some child welfare agency to see if they can set up a supervised parental visit/counseling between you and the father, and maybe give you some expertise and their opinion as to whether or not he's now a even-tempered man.

i know what you mean but he wont accept that he lives in a difrent country all the way in paris and he cant come up for visiting ..its iether i want to get back or not but thats the thing that confuses me i dont no if its a good thing to accept him back or not..it could be worse .im realy scared. i was such a bravee persone before i took risks i tooke a chance but now im soo low that i had to come online to seek a opinion of what would of other mothers of done in this situation..forgive forget a abuser a violent persone who made your life hell just to give him a secound chance he could of changed? i realy dont no if i should accept or not my question to anyone who reads this is can a persone really change? from such a monster..could it be revange or guilt nd regret just wants his family back. i wish i can just have 1 minute of not having to think about this its killing me.

 

[murmi97]

he wont accept that
he cant come up for visiting ..its iether i want to get back or not

I don't think ultimatums are evil all the time, but I certainly suspect them all the time. I'm not a mother, but considering what he did, I'd think his attitude would be a bit less demanding if he had really changed.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi and welcome

The best gift you can give your baby is to protect your baby from a violent person. No child deserves to live in a violent home. Even if the father is good to your baby, his violent behavior towards you makes him a bad father.
It sounds like you don't have a very good support system. Perhaps over time and with the right help, you can get a support system in place to help you make the right decisions.
Be brave and protect that baby!

-Teresa

 

[just*rose]

considering what he did, I'd think his attitude would be a bit less demanding if he had really changed.
[/quote]



thank you i agree!! see this is all i need just to see if ye think the same so im not lossing my minde!! this hellps you have no idea it makes me relax abit more to see some say this ..its just what i felt. but when i tell him this he sould thank god im still tallking to him after all he done!! i mean it was realy bad! but wher this guilt coming from then(( he always says i sould listen to him becouse his the man and i sould do what he says and to feel sory for our son. he wants me to run away to him becouse he knows after what he did to my family they would never let me be with him again..im in the midle its all a mess. thats why i ended up on this site looking for anyone in this type of situation. i cant go to doctores looking for hellp i cant even go to town without getting a lift from family. they wont aprove of me gting hellp for such thing.

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Hi and welcome

The best gift you can give your baby is to protect your baby from a violent person. No child deserves to live in a violent home. Even if the father is good to your baby, his violent behavior towards you makes him a bad father.
It sounds like you don't have a very good support system. Perhaps over time and with the right help, you can get a support system in place to help you make the right decisions.
Be brave and protect that baby!
________________________
thank you soo much this hellps
i dont have suport what so ever..my only suport is god , his father left when my son was 8 months old.. since then i had to do recovery from broken ribs and couldnt even walk but i had to push myself for my baby i did evrything o could to not show my pain front of my lil david even if ge was jus a lil baby.. but now his biger and rven calls dady my brother my dad my brother in law..its sooo painfull. and thats wher i think about the way his father tells me on the fone think of david for his sake give me a chance nd guilt comes along but when i think of all that he had done i hate him with all my heart..sould mothers firgive for childes sake or like you said protect.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

My opinion..
In the end, your child will be much happier that you stepped up to protect them, than if you choose to put yourself in harm's way due to guilt.

 

[just*rose]

thats true! thank you never tought of it that way.