High school Horrors

[DaerOblivion]

High school, to me, is like a horror movie stuck on replay, it won't end until four years have passed unless it wants to come back for a sequel. Now I'm sure, and through my own experiences, that high school is not really anything like they portray it on television since that is the over processed version. It still sucks. I guess what I'm trying to accomplish is spilling out my anti-social pathetic life to you all. If a week goes by and I'm alone I'll feel like the world is going to collapse in on myself.

Anyone else feel like this?

Most times I worry if I'm going to fall into another panic attack and feel like the walls are closing in on me. Sometimes I just get too paranoid.

Maybe that's why I'm relating High School to a horror movie, its like waiting for the suspenseful music to finally end and you end with it.

Recently something did put my hopes up which was reading a book I hadn't known existed, The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter. This book is the perfect combination of isolation, pressure, and loneliness for not being something that everyone wants. Most days are filled with the understanding that maybe this book was right. Of course I can't explain it to you in one shot but quotes can do the talking can't they?

She wished there was some place where she could go to hum it out loud. Some kind of music was too private to sing in a house cram full of people. It was funny, too, how lonesome a person could be in a crowded house

Mick Kelly speaks about still feeling like you can't find anyone in a crowded room, like you're still alone even though everyone is there. To me it's just the fact that no one can understand you or tries to. I feel like, in high school and in life, people have just gotten too lazy to care for that one person who isn't following everyone else.

Sad isn't it?

 

[Peaches]

so sorry to hear about your story, been there
Is there any other way you can meet people outside of school? A sport, a hobby, a club?
Because high school can be like a really bad Big Brother stuck on replay, and the only way out is… out - just some normal activity outside of school madness can do loads for one's mental health.
But you are right in your last sentence, in the last years people have gotten lazy. Maybe online friends is the way to go?
I am sorry also about the panic attacks, aside from medication I don't really have any suggestions. Just concentrate on the fact that they come because certain areas of your life suck for you, and if you can make even some little steps to improve those areas you will show those f%&** panic attacks who is the master. Because panic attacks (been there too, actually during high school) are like one's conscience, they come to point out that stuff is wrong (gee, thanks very much, like I didn't know before *sarcasm*), in my experience when you truly acknowledge that they back off.
Hope you find a little support very soon. But remember, those school kids are not the only ones you will meet in your life, tons of awesome people are waiting to meet you.

 

[cumulus.james]

High school, to me, is like a horror movie stuck on replay, it won't end until four years have passed unless it wants to come back for a sequel. Now I'm sure, and through my own experiences, that high school is not really anything like they portray it on television since that is the over processed version. It still sucks. I guess what I'm trying to accomplish is spilling out my anti-social pathetic life to you all. If a week goes by and I'm alone I'll feel like the world is going to collapse in on myself.

Anyone else feel like this?

Most times I worry if I'm going to fall into another panic attack and feel like the walls are closing in on me. Sometimes I just get too paranoid.

Maybe that's why I'm relating High School to a horror movie, its like waiting for the suspenseful music to finally end and you end with it.

Recently something did put my hopes up which was reading a book I hadn't known existed, The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter. This book is the perfect combination of isolation, pressure, and loneliness for not being something that everyone wants. Most days are filled with the understanding that maybe this book was right. Of course I can't explain it to you in one shot but quotes can do the talking can't they?

She wished there was some place where she could go to hum it out loud. Some kind of music was too private to sing in a house cram full of people. It was funny, too, how lonesome a person could be in a crowded house

Mick Kelly speaks about still feeling like you can't find anyone in a crowded room, like you're still alone even though everyone is there. To me it's just the fact that no one can understand you or tries to. I feel like, in high school and in life, people have just gotten too lazy to care for that one person who isn't following everyone else.

Sad isn't it?

Your life is not pathetic. It's not everyone who could reference a book like that. Noam Chomsky said something like the capitalist (could say materialistic) society creates systems that drive aprt those who would wish to come together, or something.

See even I am not smart enough to reference things accurately.

He also said “Education is a system of imposed ignorance”, sounds to me you are one of the few starting to think for yourself.